Uchiha Fire Demon

LV 1

Mastersun

if the story is about Uchiha, why is there a raikage in the picture ...........................................................................

LV 4

TacetIrae

thats definitely story with OP character. But there is a big issue with that, nothing feels real, dialogues are just like ripoff from cultivation young masters behavior and those that do that are kids which makes it even more wierd to read. To make this story interesting u need to make characters alive, make them behave like children do(throwing stunts and ultimatums, easily getting offended, but as easy to grand forgiveness, strive to make friends and please teachers to show themself, be scared of doing mistakes specially in the presence of teachers and so on and so on). Generally after thoughtful reading of 2 chapters I than read 5 more with skipping half of the content and till the end I just occasionally stopped to read a line. Everything feels way too unnatural and that makes it very hard to read a story and enjoy since it feels like translation, charactets don't behave naturally and dialogs are very awkward being kinda like with start and end , but without middle part where actual interactions take place. Overall this story has a loooot of potential , but for that potential to show itself authors has to be thoughtful of characters , do research if needed to show characters of people , refine dialogs, and make things just flow more natural. e. g Don't write about every day in academy, just make highlight moments when something of note takes place and is important for characters and their development of either powers or mentallity. Mundane day can be shown only once and it will be enough to show how it is and will be a base that will than compare to highlight to show what unique they are offering.

LV 13

Victor_7740

So far so good not enough chapter to judge but the premise seems interesting

LV 1

Xavierzelaya2

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