For all those people out there who have tried or even think about harming yourself or committing suicide

Just remember...
You are not alone.



This is a poem about what happens in a person's mind when they are going to hurt themselves or commit suicide. It displays a debate between them and the devil which resides in them.

Remember summer?
The summer of year 2018?
I was tired… bored.
But what overcame me was…
That haiku poem I wrote

It's that very thing
That I don't regret sharing
That "Poison" poem
I don't regret sharing it
With my eighth grade teacher, right?

I remember how it began and ended
Though I still have it with me
On this year, 2020…
I would like to think back two years ago
July of 2018 when I first wrote
"Poison" the haiku poem
Without taking
A single
Glance
Of that it now…

Dear now and future
I wish to remember these
Lines it began with

"I hate how it reeks
of its death metalic smell
Yes, it's called 'Poison'"

It's the very first stanza
That may have shook my ELA teacher
And a social worker
He shared it with in the winter
Of early 2019

That haiku poem
Made up of eighteen stanzas
Became powerful… 
What went through my mind as I
Wrote this with no intentions?

After reading it
All I remember are these:
Deep rain and dark grave

I thank the past me
For sharing that dark poem.
I feel so evil… 
Yet my heart is in Eu. Pho.
Ri. A. Yes, euphoria.

I'll never forget
That sudden pounce of courage
But that fear I felt
When I was suddenly called
To see the social worker

That quiet and peaceful engine in my brain
Became a sudden ruckus of confusion
And panic of fear
It felt like all I could hear from those millions
Of tiny working cells scream out,
"W-what is happening?!"
And all that emergency alarming, beeping
And wee-wooing like a broken siren
All for the sake of this one thought… 
"What have I done for the social worker to seek me?"

"I hate how it reeks
of its death metallic smell
Yes, it's called 'Poison'"
It was this very poem
This dark and sad haiku one

Remember winter?
In mid-winter, one poem
Became my treasure
I thank myself for this piece
Written perfect on a whim

Stories of lessons, life, and many other things aren't always long and just stories. It can also be small and short...like poems.

"What an excellent poem! Ningyan truly is the poet of the century." Li Mubai clapped his hand loudly.
The excitement written on his face was befitting a scholar who came across a masterpiece. There was also a hint of eagerness to see how the academy students would react.
Zhang Zhen said nothing but he gave Xu Qian a look of content admiration as if he was the one who groomed such an impressive student.
"The words are simple, yet they carry so much meaning. The candlelight burns from midnight to morn. That's when scholars should study the most… Brother Jinyan, do you still remember our academy days?" said Chen Tai.
He found the poem to be profound.
Zhang Zhen thought back to his younger years and said, "Our time in the academy? I was a poor student then and only had two steamed buns to eat every day. At night, my stomach would growl as I struggle to hold the candlelight over the book."
"Was that why you always stole my eggs?" Li Mubai said in a jovial tone.
"Hey, I was borrowing. Didn't I return them to you later on?" Zhang Zhen retorted.
Li Mubai blew his mustache and said, "An egg is worth so much more to a poor man."
Chen Tai coughed to break up the argument between the two friends. He turned to Xu Xinnian and said, "Cijiu, after the spring imperial provincial exams, you will be qualified for an official post regardless of your results. Have you given thought to the future?"
The sudden topic change threw everyone off. Zhang Zhen and Li Mubai quieted down as they thought of Xu Xinnian's future.
Chen Tai glanced at the two hesitant elders and quickly said, "Typically, one would begin in the city, then be sent out to govern other towns. That's the standard way to climb the ranks. Although I'm not a court official, I know people in the courts who could help."
Xu Xinnian's mentor was happy to hear that. "That sounds great. Cijiu, quick show your appreciation."
"No need for that. But I wouldn't mind a favor…" Chen Tai said with a smile.
His words made the two elders raise their eyebrows—something was not right.
No one said anything about a favor.
Chen Tai's eyes were crinkled into half-moons. "Ningyan, you're an unpolished gem. To stand out, you need someone to work on you. These two elders aren't the best at mentoring. Why don't you come with me?"
Li Mubai and Zhang Zhen were livid. "Go away, you shameless bastard!"
Xu Qian took the opportunity to speak. "I do have some questions for the elder."
His visit to the White Deer Academy was calculated—he wished to gain some free service.
"I'm stuck in the martial artist's refinement stage. As I have no achievements and my family is poor, I never had the chance to enter the Qi rank."
He made a 90-degree bow and said, "Please help me open my Heaven's Gate."
This was his second reason for the visit. Although he could sell the magic items from Song Qing, he figured there would be a better way. He simply did not wish to waste the magic items—he wanted a win-win situation.
Zhang Zhen shook his head and chuckled. "Are you crazy? Everyone here is on the path of Confucianism. We can't open your Heaven's Gate. How the Qi moves in a martial artist's body is only known by those who walk the same path."
'The divide among the disciplines is wider than I'd expected.' Xu Qian was somewhat disappointed when he asked, "I don't understand. If the Heaven's Gate requires a divine-class expert to unlock, how did the first martial artist open his Heaven's Gate?"
Li Mubai lifted his teacup and answered him with another question, "Do you think the martial arts discipline was founded by a person? That he ascended the ranks effortlessly?"
Xu Qian shook his head.
"The discipline is advanced by generations after generations," Li Mubai explained. "Perhaps at the beginning, the refinement rank was the highest one could achieve. As fate would have it, someone's Heaven's Gate was opened and the Qi training state became the peak. As centuries passed, we have the current, fully-developed martial arts discipline."
"Fate?" Xu Qian latched on to the important detail.
"Having a divine-class expert open one's Heaven's Gate is the safest and most convenient method, but it's not the only method." Chen Tai took over the explanation.
He smiled as he continued. "When a baby is born, he is enveloped by a pure Qi. As he grows older, the Heaven's Gate closes and the Qi retreats into the body. To master the Qi, one has to reopen the Heaven's Gate."
Xu Qian nodded—as humans consume all forms of mortal sustenance, the Heaven's Gate is clogged by impurity and thus, the Qi circulation is cut off.
His uncle had taught him the basic theory.
"Besides the widely-known, there are two other methods to open the Heaven's Gate. First, the expel-infuse method. It has to be practiced since young. Every day, one must bathe in a herbal bath to cleanse the meridians that lead to the Heaven's Gate. The method is time- and resource-intensive, thus eliminated from practice.
"The second method is to use an external force. This is the oldest and dumbest method used by our forebears. They swallowed monster pills. Monster pills are essence collected from monsters. With the energy accumulated in one's body, taking the pill will force open the Eight Extraordinary Meridians but the effect is uncontrollable. Only one out of ten survive."
'I see. While I didn't get what I wanted, some additional knowledge never hurt.' Xu Qian was grateful for the explanation. "Thank you for the enlightenment."
'Look at this polite and humble student. A good talker too.' The three Confucian elders wore satisfied smiles as they stroke their beards.
…
At the heart of the academy was the Sage's Study Palace, also known as the Sage's Temple. It was a place to enshrine and worship the founder of Confucianism.
The plaza outside the Sage's Study palace could fit all of the White Deer Academy students.
Every year, the headmaster would address the student body when the spring imperial provincial exams rolled by. He would urge them to study hard, get their names on the scoreboard and contribute to the greater good of society.
On the plaza, there was a mottled, red wall that had layers of papers stuck to it.
It was the academy's bulletin board. The mentors would paste their essays, poems, calligraphy, and occasionally their students' outstanding work.
Two students appeared before the wall—one was carrying the rolled-up paper while the other was applying paste to the wall. Then, the two worked together to unveil the new piece that was to be featured on the wall.
The scene attracted the other students in the area. The size of the paper—a human's height—astounded them.
"What's being featured? Come on, let's have a look."
"Doesn't look like an essay. Oh, a poem… Why the fuss over a poem?"
"Ever since Ziyang's Layman left the academy, the poems on the wall are rarely worth a read. The remaining mentors and elders aren't good at poetry."
As the chatter picked up, students flocked to the wall to check out the huge poster.
The characters were written boldly. The brush had been gripped by a firm hand—the ink had seeped through the paper. Each stroke conveyed the gravity of the poet's words.
"This is Mentor Zhang's writing." A student recognized the handwriting.
Others were focused on the content.
"'The candlelight burns from midnight to morn. That's when scholars should study the most…' Oh my. Ever since the autumn exams, I never stayed up to study."
"The words used in the poem are simple, yet it is thought-provoking!"
"Simple? 'When young, we neglect studies for fun. When old, we regret not learning enough.' The lesson is embedded within the poem, it is a worthy proverb."
"'When old, we regret not learning enough…' I've been falling behind on my studies. Spent too much time playing chess and exploring the mountains. This poem is a wake-up call to me."
"Whose mighty hand-penned such a good poem?"
More people gathered before the wall to check out the poem. Many resonated with the words and left feeling motivated to study.
The first half made the students blush with shame. Who could pull an all-nighter studying?
Such examples were littered across the academy grounds. The academy elders often spoke about their long study sessions decades ago when they were students.
The few outstanding students also spent an inordinate amount of time studying.
However, it was the second half of the poem that made the students sweat: When young, we neglect studies for fun. When old, we regret not learning enough.
The words echoed like a warning. The students who had been slacking were remorseful. They were overcome with anxiety as they worried about their future.
Deep in their bellies, a fire was lit and their motivation for study rejuvenated.
A short distance away, the three Confucian elders observed the scene from the edge of the plaza. Chen Tai stroked his beard and laughed. "I take back my words. The poem has touched many hearts. Xu Ningyan truly is the poet of the century."
Witnessing the effects of the poem on the student body, Zhang Zhen beamed. "You're right. He produced that poem before we even finished a pot of tea. His poetry skill and talent can outclass even the best poets in history.
Suddenly, Li Mubai fielded a question, "Do you believe that he abandoned his studies?"
The two elders nodded. Li Mubai smiled and asked, "How are you sure?"
Zhang Zhen replied, "When crafting the poem, he told Cijiu to write in his stead."
"As a scholar, why would you ask others to write in your stead? Unless he isn't proficient in calligraphy." Chen Tai added.
Calligraphy was the basic skill needed by every student.
Li Mubai sighed. "It's unfortunate that he's beyond the age of changing paths."
Chen Tai's heart ached. "Such talent wasted on martial arts. An affront to the gods!"
The rough practice of martial arts was not suited for a man with such flowery words.
Something crossed Zhang Zhen's mind. "I heard Cijiu mention when the two boys were young, his father decided Cijiu would study while Ningyan would learn martial arts."
"Xu Pingzhi is unfit to be a father! He wasted a good scholar. Upsetting, exasperating!" Li Baimu said in frustration.
The two elders agreed with his condemnation.


Once a police academy graduate—Xu Qian, woke up and found himself in jail. He was to be banished to the borderlands in three days...
Stuck in this inhumane society, his initial goal was just to be a rich man and pass his days in relative safety.
…
Many years later, Xu Qian recalled the events of the past. His enemies and friends were dead, there was nothing of them left but bones.
The rolling Yangtze River flows east as the waves wash away the heroes. 
Success or failure, wrong or right; matters little, it might?
The lush mountains remain while the sun sets every night.


"I fear there's not enough time and I need to hold you
Until I can see in your wrinkles
That time has left its marks there
Until I'm sure that you're real
Until I've lost all my strength.
For you, I'll do anything.
I'll keep my gaze on you, even when I cannot move
Until I can see in your hairline
The sign of the first white hair
Until my vision blurs
Until I can no longer breathe…"
Sheng Yize was absorbed in singing, but An Xiaxia's fingers slipped a few times because of how nervous she was.
"It hasn't been easy for us at all.
We have been carried away by the tide.
I fear that time will pass so quickly
And I won't be there to watch you closely.
I fear that time will pass too slowly
And I'll have to worry about losing you day and night.
I hope we can go all hoary-haired overnight
And we'll never be separated…"
When the song was over, the crowd was still in a trance-like state.
Was it because of the splendid stars or the dazzling flames?
Was the sound of the guitar too gentle or the singing too emotional?
They seemed to be trapped in a dream that was too wonderful to wake up from.
Sheng Yize quietly said, "Thank you for listening," which finally brought everyone back.
Someone started to applaud, then everyone joined in.
Sheng Yize put his hand on An Xiaxia's head and rubbed it affectionately.
"Nice job."
An Xiaxia blushed. She knew Sheng Yize had a much better sense of music than she did, and he must have picked up the mistakes she had made.
Somehow, she felt so shy all of a sudden… 
She was going to throw his hand off when she realized that it was his left hand.
After a brief moment of hesitation, she gently brushed his hand off her head and held it tightly in her hands.
"I've always been meaning to ask you: do you regret it?"
Sheng Yize had said no when she asked him that question back then.
What about now? After all these years, did he regret stopping that knife for her, which had deprived him of playing the piano for the rest of his life?
Sheng Yize even had to use his left hand to sign things now.
"Dummy…" Sheng Yize turned his dark eyes on her, and his smile was seldom this gentle. "Did you regret saving me back then?"
An Xiaxia bit her lip. "A little… but it was worth it."
"There's your answer, then." He was still smiling. "Speaking of regret, there's actually one thing I'm a little sorry about."
"Hm?" She knew it. He had to have some regrets… Could it be because of her?
Sheng Yize pinched An Xiaxia's smooth cheek. "That pig's foot you were eating when I first saw you smelt so nice. I could smell it from such a long distance away. I really should have snatched it from you and taken a bite."
An Xiaxia's eyes slowly went teary.
"What's wrong?"
An Xiaxia sniveled. "I'll never be able to taste something like that again…" With Grandma Song gone, no one would ever make her stewed pig's feet like that again.
"But I have you. Aren't I raising a piglet myself now?"
"Huh?" An Xiaxia looked dumbfounded. Was he? Where?
"My piglet is really yummy, too…" Sheng Yize's smile spoke volumes. Unfortunately, An Xiaxia was as slow as ever and completely missed his point.
The cameraman was tittering inwardly on the side. When he wanted to replay the footage, he saw that his camera had been switched off when he wasn't looking!
He turned to look at Sheng Yize involuntarily, who smiled back at him. "A little privacy, please."
Well… so be it then. He could go on living his pitiful single life!
"Have you heard that poem?" Sheng Yize kept his intense gaze on An Xiaxia.
"What poem…"
"To win my beloved's heart, until death doth gray-haired part."
He slowly recited the poem, which brought tears to An Xiaxia's eyes. "Until death do us part?"
The scheming guy replied right away, "Of course."
An Xiaxia was speechless.


As an anti-fan of the idol group, Starry Night, An Xiaxia is happy to spend her time online slandering lead singer Sheng Yize. 

But things take an unexpected turn when An Xiaxia starts high school - the Starry Night trio somehow becomes her classmates, and even end up moving into her house. 

Also, the nation’s idol Sheng Yize seems particularly interested in An Xiaxia for some reason...

Sheng Yize: Xiaxia, if I and a chicken wing fall into the water together, which one will you save?

An Xiaxia: Hm… I can't swim, so obviously you're going to save yourself and get my chicken wing out!

Sheng Yize: I thought I was the nation’s idol???

Jun Yinglian was getting angrier and angrier as she thought deeply about it, but then the anger vanished all of a sudden... However, she was yet to calm down!

In the young man's eyes, she saw tenderness, love, guilt, affection, pain, sorrow, happiness…

Almost all emotions could be found in those deep eyes.

They were a pair of determined eyes!

She was shocked, then she abruptly stopped rushing forward.

- Hooo! -

Meanwhile, the hawk landed about ten meters ahead of her like an arrow. It cooed and swung its wings. It seemed it was gloating that it could catch up with Jun Yinglian, a dominant cultivator in the world.

Ye Xiao slowly got off the hawk.

He gently tapped Hawky's head.

The hawk nodded and flew up to the sky again after making a few sounds…

[You don't need me to stay. Okay. There is a vast mountain over there. I should go and check if there is anything valuable…]

…

Ye Xiao stood in front of Jun Yinglian. Suddenly, he was filled with all kinds of emotions. He felt like it had been forever since they last met each other. His lips started to quiver.

Jun Yinglian frowned and asked him, "Are you Young Lord Ye? What do you want? Is anything wrong that you have to chase after me in a hurry? Didn't I make everything clear back there?"

Although she was not angry with him now, she didn't want to mention the name Ye Xiao, which was exactly the same name as Xiao Monarch. She only called him Young Lord Ye or referred to him as Ye Nantian's son.

For Jun Yinglian, the name Ye Xiao only belonged to one person!

Since Xiao Monarch was no longer alive, the name should disappear too!

No one deserved the same name as him!

…

"There is indeed something that I need to talk to you, Fairy." Ye Xiao took a deep breath to calm himself down.

"Go ahead then," Jun Yinglian spoke indifferently. As she spoke coldly, it sounded like she was driving everybody away.

Ye Xiao smiled bitterly and said, "Lian… Fairy Jun, I wonder if you have ever heard of a poem before."

Jun Yinglian didn't respond. She just waited for Ye Xiao to go on talking. She looked blank and indifferent. It seemed she was not interested in this conversation at all.

Ye Xiao continued, "It is a poem…"

"Ruthless heaven's will promises no flat and smooth life path; In this hopeful mundane world, I would like to be lost in my own madness. I regret that I let you be solitary; If there is a next life, I promise I will accompany you to travel the world."

Ye Xiao raised his head and stared at Jun Yinglian. His voice was shaking. "Fairy Jun, have you heard of this poem?"

Heard of it? She actually knew it with all her heart!

When Ye Xiao started to say the first line, Jung Yinglian began to shake. She raised up her head and stared at Ye Xiao's face. When he finished, her eyes were already red and full of tears.

She was shaking like a delicate flower, but that was going to wither in the rainstorm at any second. Her lips became pale as tears shined in her eyes. "Who are you?"

"Who am I?" Ye Xiao bitterly smiled and said, "Fairy Jun, how many people do you think know the poem?"

Jun Yinglian was shaking while biting her lips—she didn't utter a single word.

Many people knew about the latter part of the poem. She had hung a picture with the two lines on it on the wall of her room. She used to read it every day.

A lot of people in Sky Ice Palace had seen it, including her sister disciples, maids, friends like Bing Xinyue…

They all knew the latter two lines.

However, there were only two people who knew the first part!

One was Jun Yinglian herself, while the other was Xiao Monarch!

Xiao Monarch, Ye Xiao!

Jun Yinglian had never forgotten the first part of the poem. She wouldn't. The first part of the poem was much more important to her than the latter.

Because it was stated the reason why Ye Xiao rejected her!

'Ruthless heaven's will promises no flat and smooth life path.'

That was true. The heavens never showed mercy. Although everybody had the chance to get on the flat and smooth road, only one of a billion people could stay on the path for a lifetime. Those who had already entered a path should keep working in full effort to keep staying on it forever. That was a clear explanation.

'In this hopeful mundane world, I would like to be lost in my own madness.'

It meant Xiao Monarch had the lady in his heart because, after all, they were all mortals in the mundane world. However, he chose to be a loner because that was the only way he could keep himself moving forward on the path to heaven's nature…

'I regret that I let you be solitary.'

He made such a decision, which broke her heart…

'If there is a next life, I promise I will accompany you to travel the world.'

That was his sincere apology.

It should be something that would never happen.

Ye Xiao stared at Jun Yinglian sentimentally.

Jun Yinglian took a deep breath and, suddenly, sharp killing intent filled her eyes. "Who are you?"

"Who am I?" Ye Xiao smiled bitterly. "I am Ye Xiao."

"I know your name… I am asking who you are!" Jun Yinglian was suddenly covered in an aura of murderous cold qi. Her beautiful hand was already placed on the handle of her sword. Her eyes were shining with cold lights.

In fact, to kill a young man who had just reached Dao Origin Stage, she didn't need to use a sword. However, she still put her hand on the sword because she was utterly furious at the moment!

In her heart, this Ye Xiao was not the Ye Xiao in her heart. There was something this new Ye Xiao should never know!

[Even though you have his name, you are not him!]

"Don't you know who I am even after hearing what I said? I am Ye Xiao!" Ye Xiao stared at Jun Yinglian in the eyes. "Xiao Monarch, Ye Xiao!"

"Heh, heh…" Jun Yinglian laughed horribly and indifferently.

Two months earlier, she might choose to trust him. The poem was a secret between only Xiao Monarch and her. It was an absolute proof indeed!

However, she didn't believe it now!

After that fake Xiao Monarch's sneaky shows in the earlier days, she realized those guys were able to simulate Xiao Monarch in the voice, face, emotions, facial expression, behavior, even martial art… She nearly believed it even though she was the person who knew Xiao Monarch the best. She now thought somehow somebody knew everything about Xiao Monarch!

Now there was another!

She didn't know why, but this young man knew the poem… Maybe somebody in Sky Ice Palace heard the poem when she was talking in a dream when she missed Ye Xiao.

That was possible!

She looked confused in the eyes, but from deep inside her eyes, a strong killing intent was rising up.

It was unstoppable!

…

















Ye Xiao was a superior cultivator in his previous life. The three factions of the Qing-Yun Realm killed millions of people every time they attempt to seize cultivation resources. Wealthy towns turn to wastelands in just a single night. They covered up their crime with assertion that the towns were suffering from pestilence and disasters.
They forcibly held all the resources for cultivation, monopolized all valuable practice materials, and kept outsiders from cultivating so that only their three factions could cultivate in the realm. Ye Xiao declared war against the three factions in retaliation of their actions. He fought alone and ended up dying in vain. However, he is reborn into the mortal body of a 16 year-old boy. He will use the powers he cultivated in his last life and slaughter his way back into the Qing-Yun Realm. The story begins!
------
Release Rate: 14 Chapters/Week; 1 chapter from Monday to Saturday, and 8 chapters every Sunday.

She sings.
No, not the kind of song you think
but the kind for only me to listen,
made for only me to grief.

She is talented
because how can one take every spot of your happiness
and turn in to something dark 
by reminding you of your past?

Singing isn't the only thing she does.
She dances too,
draws, tells stories and disturbs my sleep.
The worst part is that everytime she uses he talents,
I am her only audience.
Like that opposite side of you,
that was made to never leave you.

She loves mistakes!
For everytime they were made, she stored them in.
My imperfections are her greatest strength.
She fills me with her being.
Regret is what she is 
and she lives in my head.

Don't condemn me yet.
I swear, I begged!
I begged her to get out of my mind
and for everytime I smiled,
she would remind me of that thing or person I lost,
just because of my flaws.

I am tired.
She uses every medium to haunt me.
You just name it,
a scene in a movie? A particular lyric?
Just anything.
It is like a has the right memory to counter it,
the right memory to make her presence known.

Am I not her only listener?
It means she performs only for me.
I determine whether she is good or isn't.
Her awards are my reactions.
What would happen if I stopped listening?
If for every memory she presented,
I faced her and told her,"That was a mistake."
She would lose her confidence
and would go away.

So, I did it
and yes, she lost it!
Still, she won't go away completely
because sometimes she comes out again
and sings to me.
She is a fighter and I have to be a greater
because silently, in my mind,
she still sings.



Poet's Commentary
There are always voices in our heads, some just speak louder than others. Some don't even speak, they just sing and kill.
This poem is about Regret, just one of the voices in your head. She is great at singing so much that, she still sings.
I hope you enjoy this poem, I remain humbly yours 💟❣️



Just like people's emotions, these poems are forever flickering to different issues of life. If you can't afford to witness the darkness and depth from the power of words, I advice you to stir away from these poetry collection. Yet, just like life, the poem also contains light and colour. 

Although these poems might drown you and bring you back life, the unique thing about them is that they used a different kind of ink, the soul.

[Write a poem or short story using your name in some way or form.]

 FaebyenTheFairy, huh? I'll try my hand at another poem.
 …
 A great savior in my time of need
 Was how I got the name I use
 That person quickly helped and freed
 Me from what I suffered: abuse.

 It was not only the physical kind
 That was almost tolerable enough
 The bad stuff altered my mind
 I'm glad they were there to snuff, it.

 But it wasn't without repercussions
 Just remembering it makes me feel guilty
 Even though we had a lot of discussions
 The regret is almost enough to kill me.

 Though, I refuse to let myself die
 Because then what she did would be in vain
 Instead, I don't dare try to deny
 Life is painful and won't always result in gain.

 In that way I found I can continue to live on
 Despite the fact that I still suffer much pain
 I remember her kindly, like she were my mom
 I even based my online alias after her name.

365 days, 365 scenes.
Battles among supreme beings.
Poems about losing love.
Dragons showing mercy.
Kids stumbling upon magic.

This journey involves my answering of 365 creative writing prompts in a desperate bid to overcome my laziness.
The prompts come from https://thinkwritten.com/365-creative-writing-prompts/ and I write one a day.

THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW: I've gotten over the majority of my laziness. I'm unlikely to update this much. It's pretty much complete. The novel I'm working on is Dark Seas Leading Demise

The search for the man can wait. I have to attend to my job. While I was editing yet another article, the boss went to my cubicle and checked on my work.

"Alright, this is Miss Aguinaldo, our senior editor," my boss says.

What? Why is he introducing me? I turned my back and I saw my boss with his newest employee. By God, what is he doing here? Mateo! Does he really want to die? All he can do is give an annoying smirk! I could only feel the heat inside my mind. Why is he here?

"Sir, who is this?" I ask. "And what is he doing here?"

"Ah, this is our newest employee," the boss says. "Rosanna, meet Mateo. He will be an editor in for the paper. Mateo, please be kind to your senior."

"Oh, I'll make sure I will," Mateo says smugly while looking directly at me.

"That is good, Mateo," the boss says as he taps his shoulder. "Rosanna, I'll leave Mateo with you so you can show him around. I have work to do. Good day."

All I can feel are flames within my mind! He hurt Emma before! All I can do is look away from him in disgust. What a lying and cheating man! She was a fool to fall for him. I would have beaten him up if Emma hadn't interfered. Those were the times Eloisa was still herself, and in those moments, she was as pious as a nun was. She did not do anything except scold us like a nun. Emma was protecting him, and all I could do was attempt to beat him up! She was a fool! How could she protect the man that betrayed her?

"Looks like we meet again, Rose," he says smugly. "Are you still that fiery girl I know four years ago?"

"If she hadn't interfered, I would have beaten you up and made sure you regret everything you did to her!" I spat on his face.

"But, she did," he says. "She loved me."

"She was a fool," I say quietly. "And now, she remains to be a fool, even on her deathbed."

I turned to my desk and tried to resist the waters that form in my eyes. I knew I had said too much. She was my little-beloved fool – my foolish sister that I tried to protect from love's painful ways. Sadly, I cannot protect her forever. Perhaps, I cannot see love as she sees it. I still remain cold, but I do know that I love her as a sister. That is the closest thing I can get to actually feeling 'love'.

"Now, Rose," he says as he tries to comfort me. "I meant no offense, but thinking about the past where you seem to desire to kill me was laughable. I feel like a nun, a wrestler, and a mother was all over the place. We moved on, haven't we?"

"You and she might have forgotten about it and see it as a comedy, but I do not see it that way," I say coldly. "You cheated on her!"

"And I regret it," he says. "But hey, I knew she was too good for me. She deserves someone nicer and someone that will love her unconditionally. I'm sorry."

"Apologize to her," I say icily.

"I would if I could," he says. "No one has heard from her for a long time. I was hoping that you might have a form of contact with her. You see her as your sister, don't you?"

"Ha! I won't tell you where she is!" I exclaimed.

"You have to," he says coolly. "You said that she is on her deathbed. Where is her deathbed, exactly? Is it at home? Is it perhaps in a hospital?"

"None for you to know about," I say as I go to the printing room and attempt to leave him behind.

He won't really give up, will he? He kept on following me even though I truly don't want to talk about it.

"Come on now, Rose," he says. "I know what you mean. Now, if you want me to stop bothering you, just tell me where she is. Isn't that easy?"

I look at him oddly and all I can see is the face of a man that remains to be the same as I saw him four years ago. No, I won't let him reach her! I want her to die in peace, and seeing this man would only speed up that process.

"No," I say flatly.

I walked away from him and went to the printing room. Finally, a moment of peace. I give myself some time to realize what is happening. First of all, my friend's ex-boyfriend is my co-worker. Two, he is my subordinate since he is the newest paper editor. Third, I told him a secret that should never be told. All of those happened within five minutes! You are an idiot, Rose.

Suddenly, he joined me in the printing room with a smug look on his face. I want to punch that smug off and make him regret every bit of harm he caused towards Emma.

"You don't have to be silent with me," he says. "I know now."

"How did you know?" I ask nervously.

"Well, from your good old friend, the nun," he says. "She doesn't seem like the nun today. All I can hear is her slurry speech and deluded thoughts, but she managed to tell me everything I need to know."

I have two sisters for fools! How can she easily trust this liar? Emma would be so furious once she finds out that her health issue is spreading. This is terrible! She is her father's only heir, and once the media knows that the heiress is dead, it would cause unease within her father's company! This man is a journalist himself! This is dangerous! By God, Eloisa, you were a greater fool than I imagined!

"She said something about a search," he says. "A third lover came as a shock to me. I thought I only had one rival."

"Do you know the identity of this lover?" I ask.

"No," he says grimly. "But I know the second one knows. She was not as noble as you may think she is. He complained to me that she cheated on him for another man. But hey, she is pious, I suppose. He could be lying!"

"Enough games, Mateo," I exclaimed. "Do not play with this. I want to give her a peaceful part of this world by finding that man, but unfortunately, no one I know knows who he is. Her little maid knows nothing. We, her friends, her sisters, know nothing. Even you know nothing that she had a third lover. I want to find him. Sadly, the maid could only give me a poem that proves the third lover's existence."

"Where is that poem?" he asks.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"Give me the poem," he demanded. "If there's one thing I know about your friend, it is that her poems can either be literal or metaphorical. If means it literally, the entire poem means literally. If she means it metaphorically, she means the entirety of it as nothing more than a metaphor – it exists, but we need to fathom its deepest meaning.

"You are no poet!" I exclaimed.

"No, but I dated her for a few months or so," he says. "And it wasn't her fault that I was a lying cheater, as you say."

I hate the way he feels like he could do everything. He cannot possibly interpret such complex poems that I cannot understand. She is too ambiguous about everything. All I can do is let my mind be enchanted by her seductive words that let me try to interpret it, but could mean a whole lot meaning at the end of the day.

Hesitantly, I handed him the paper the maid gave me. I have no choice. Maybe he can help me after all. He can give some descriptive information about this man. He read the poem through and through and he seems to be in deep thought about it. I am silently hoping that he might know the answer to it.

"I cannot interpret the poem," he says.

"Then why did you say you can do it?" I ask angrily.

"It's because usually, she puts a post scriptum behind the page," he says as he turns the page back. "A 'P.S' if you will. And there it is. It is written in French but backward. You might not have noticed it, did you?"

Wow, he is intelligent. He knew what I could not know and all I could do was be amazed by the talents he has shown me.

"Hmmmm, it says, October 10, 2015," he read slowly. "This is the day that he left me. The reason behind it is somewhat unknown to me, but I do know that I will continue to love him as he is. I shan't forget him, though the world may forget about our love." He put the paper aside and he began thinking things through. "That was sixteen days ago! So, this third lover truly exists and there is no denying that she is determined to hide him! He left her sixteen days ago. What a pity!"

Sixteen days ago. . . I have not seen her for months. She never called me or asked to see me. She only called me a week ago, on the day that she was taken to the hospital. Why did she hide this lover from me? What a fool! She is such a fool that she did not bother to tell me who it is. How could she forget to trust me, her friend and sister?

"We need to contact the second lover," he says. "He knows who it is."

"We?" I say. "You are not included in this search. Eloisa and I will find him in a week's time."

"One thing I know from your beloved friend is that when she wants something hidden, she will remove all traces of it. D'you honestly think that this search would be easy?"

"But, she is a human too," I say in response. "She must have left something."

"Yes," he says. "That is indeed true. Anyway, I am going to help whether you want it or not."

"Oh, really?" I ask. "Why is that?"

"Because I owe her a lot," he says simply. "And this is the only way I can repay her. I broke her heart, but she defended me from you. I cheated on her, but she remained faithful. Now, I think she deserves a true lover that would grant the peace that she needs."

Lies, Betrayals, Wishes, Deceits, Murders, Wealth . . . such many things for an elite to have. 

Rosanna Aguinaldo, a self-made journalist, Rose into the world through hard work. For much of her life, she involved herself in the lives of the elite, thereby creating many questions in her mind. What mysteries do these people have? How can people mysteriously die, lose their inheritance, or conspire with one another?

---------------------------------------------------------

Release: On Hiatus

Chapter Length: +2000 words

Li Xiao Bai's expectations were not disappointed.
After his recital, three more people stepped up.
One was a strong man wearing a golden mask, he was shining in a glaring golden light.
There was an old man wearing a cone hat, he was holding a cane as a green light moved around him.
There was also a woman, she had a slim body and wore a pink dress, her face was covered by a veil, after her recital, butterflies flew around her, it was a beautiful sight.
These three had created famed poems on the same level as Li Xiao Bai's moonlit night.
Li Xiao Bai let out a sigh of relief: "This world has Gu worms to assist with poem creation. Gu Masters are also able to extend their lifespan and gain more experience in life. Thus, famed poems are more likely to appear than on Earth."
On Earth, moonlit night was a rare creation. But in Profound Literature grotto-heaven, it would not be unmatched.
Including Li Xiao Bai, the four of them had their own territory as they looked at each other.
The strong man, old man, and woman placed their gazes on Li Xiao Bai.
They knew each other, they had some sort of understanding towards their works, but Li Xiao Bai was a newcomer.
"Who is this young man?"
"His talent qi is not dense, how can he create such a famed poem?"
"Hehe, interesting guy."
Li Xiao Bai's teacher, Teacher Jiang, also saw his student's performance. He nodded in satisfaction: "Very good, Li Xiao Bai, it seems you are performing well today. Continue working hard."
In the end, no accidents happened, Li Xiao Bai moved to the next round and was teleported away.
After he regained his senses, he arrived in another arena.
"This is the fifth round, scholars, please wait patiently." Li Xiao Bai heard a voice in his mind.
Li Xiao Bai understood at once: "So the advancement has differences as well. The poem I made is enough to pass three rounds and directly reach the fifth round."
"This is quite a logical rule."
"But this means that the Gu Masters who reached this round are all people who created famed poems. Only half of these people can pass, the pressure has intensified now."
Li Xiao Bai looked around, he found two familiar faces.
It was the strong man and the woman from earlier.
After noticing Li Xiao Bai's gaze, the woman nodded at him, she seemed to be smiling under the veil. Meanwhile, the strong man had an air of arrogance, after giving Li Xiao Bai a glance, he started to shut his eyes and meditate.
In the fifth round, there was only the three of them now.
"I wonder which round that old man went to."
"I should pretend to rest now."
When scholars made poems, they had to think with all their effort, but he only had to select a suitable poem for his use. This was too easy, he had to conceal the fact.
After waiting for several minutes in the fifth round arena, the second competition began.
He had more than twenty competitors, Li Xiao Bai felt a certain level of pressure in his heart.
The theme of the second competition was out — Travel, the time limit was the same as before.
"Travel? This question is the same as spring, it is so broad and easy to write, but creating a famed poem will be very hard!" The strong man sighed to himself.
The woman was thinking: "I am not well versed in this, what should I do?"
Li Xiao Bai was also contemplating: "Which poem do I copy?"
After thinking for a while, he felt that he could not use a classic poem, the effect would be too overwhelming, but he could not use a bad poem. Otherwise, he would fail to advance and be kicked back to the previous round.
Li Xiao Bai was a little troubled, it was not easy to gauge this situation.
He knew his own ability, but he did not know about others, he did not know what sort of poem to use to win but not gain too much attention.
"In the first round, I went overboard. I should not try for first place now." Li Xiao Bai told himself.
He waited patiently.
After a few minutes, some scholars already created their poems. After that, a few more started to recite their poems, colorful lights appeared.
Li Xiao Bai sighed to himself, thinking: "It seems that famed poems are not easy to create, these people did well in the first round but currently, they are only performing at an average level."
Li Xiao Bai soon had an idea of the situation but he did not start working, he was still waiting.
As the time limit was about to be up, he finally saw some famed poems.
One from the strong man.
He recited a poem with great battle intent, resembling the march of horses and spears, his entire body was flickering with golden light, one could hear the clash of spears and blades.
The second famed poem came from the woman.
She created a gentle poem, describing a young lady looking outside her room's window, listening to the stories of travelers outside, imagining her own travel journey, it was quite impressive.
"Alright, it is my turn now." Li Xiao Bai coughed as he recited:
Date flowers fall on the villagers' clothes, 
The sound of reeling carts heard from every household, 
Old men dressed in simple clothes sell cucumbers under the willow tree. 
Feeling drunk and drowsy from the long journey, 
The bright sun makes my throat dry, I thirst for a refreshing drink, 
I knock on the door of a mortal house, hoping to request for some tea.
He had copied Su Shi's Silk-washing Stream.
After the recital, be it the strong man or the woman, they were evidently moved as they analyzed the poem.
"Good poem! This poem starts with description of the scenery and actions at the back, with the fusion of both, one can feel interested in the event."
"Even though he is writing about a scenery, he uses his voice to create an image, compared to normal descriptions, this is very vivid. The emotional part is also very interesting. This kid might be a Gu Master but he is very polite and courteous, he does not barge into a mortal's house, he is truly a gentleman and has incomparable elegance."
"Reading his poem shows his nature. This young scholar is really promising!"
The surrounding scholars looked at Li Xiao Bai with a different gaze now.
Li Xiao Bai let out a breath of air, pretending that he was extremely exhausted.
"After this round, I should be able to advance. Not just that, my performance was really good, I did not gain too much attention but I also did not show inability."
Li Xiao Bai was quite satisfied with himself, after waiting for a while, the time limit was up.
He became stunned.
Most scholars failed to create a poem.
"This is the world poetry competition, I need to display my best abilities. If I use any inferior work, it will be too shameful."
"I did my best but could not create a satisfactory poem, even if I fail, I will not regret it!"
"This trip was worth my time, I got to hear three famed poems."
"Haha, in the worst case scenario, I might fall to the first round, so what? Goodbye!"
Those scholars that did not create a poem left in a carefree manner, while those scholars who made inferior poems showed shameful expressions.
Li Xiao Bai was calm on the outside but internally flummoxed: "How can you guys act so graciously?"
Even though he advanced, he had gained too much attention again. Earlier, he was quite satisfied with the situation, but to think these scholars would be so useless.
"Hmph, I had overestimated them." Li Xiao Bai thought.
There was nothing to say, he successfully advanced to the ninth round.
After patiently waiting for a while, the people gathered. This time, there was less than ten of them.
Many of them were famous scholars, they knew each other and greeted politely, they were calm and elegant on the outside, but were all feeling nervous internally.
At this point, the pressure of these competitors intensified again.
"I need to be stable, I cannot create a commotion again!" Li Xiao Bai clenched his fists, he kept reminding himself.
But this time, his opponents all performed well, more than half of the Gu Masters created famed poems.
Li Xiao Bai was the last one left.
Li Xiao Bai had a nervous expression but he was calm internally, he recited the poem that he had already prepared in advance.
With some flickering light, his cultivation level rose to rank four, he gained a new Gu worm.
This time, he planned meticulously, the poem he created was just borderline in the middle, he managed to advance successfully but he was at the bottom of the batch.
Right when Li Xiao Bai was feeling happy.
Cough!
Someone coughed out a mouthful of blood.
Ugh.
Someone fainted on the ground.
The strong man shook as he sat down with difficulty. The woman coughed for a long time with a pale expression.
Only Li Xiao Bai was left standing on the spot, unaffected.
At once, everyone's gazes were on him again.
"This young man is very strong! Currently speaking, he has already created three famed poems."
"He did not get injured at all, it seems that he had not gone all out when he made his poem earlier."
"Impressive! After this competition, I need to befriend him!"
Li Xiao Bai: "…"
He was speechless.
Oh heavens, why did everyone overexert themselves?!
Wasn't it just a poem competition, why were they risking their lives?
He wanted to pretend to cough blood too but it was too late now, he could not disguise himself anymore.
Li Xiao Bai had to continue moving to the next round with a plain expression.


With his Three Fundamental Views* unrighteous, the demon is reborn.
An old dream in the ancient days, a new author with an identical name.
An old story about a time traveler who was constantly being reborn.
An eccentric world that grows, cultivates, and uses Gu. 
The Spring Autumn Cicada, Moonlight Gu, Liquor worm, Comprehensive Golden Light Worm, Fine Black Hair Gu, Hope Gu. . . . . .
And a peerless great demon that freely acts to his heart’s content.
Translator's Synopsis: 
A story of a villain, Fang Yuan who was reborn 500 years into the past with the Spring Autumn Cicada he painstakingly refined. With his profound wisdom, battle and life experiences, he seeks to overcome his foes with skill and wit! Ruthless and amoral, he has no need to hold back as he pursues his ultimate goals. In a world of cruelty where one cultivates using Gu - magical creatures of the world - Fang Yuan must rise up above all with his own power.
--------------------------------
Gu is a legendary venomous insect, often used in black magic practices. It can take on the form of several insects, usually snakes, crickets, worms etc.
* = one's world view, values of worth and philosophy on life 


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