Overlord_Venus
Lv 5- Joined Dec 2017
- India
- Male
I'm Master Chef Antarctica, expect some super cool delicacies from me
-
Author
Published more than 50000 words on Webnovel
Christmas Carnival
Participate in Christmas Carnival and play the Gashapon.
YE XIU 5.29
Participated in Ye Xiu's 5.29 birthday event
Premier
Becoming a Premium user
Endeavor
Checked in for a total of 180 days
Such Wealth!
Obtain a cumulative total of 10,000 Spirit Stones
Who am I?
Add email and upload avatar
Cultivator
Registered for over 1 years
Original Works
-
Empty Brain, Devil's Workshop
"Clarice, why are you sitting there with a blank look on your face" The homeroom teacher shouted at Clarice. Clarice just gazed at her teacher with disdain "I hope a goblin eats her....or.... should I just send a love letter to her with the principal's name on it?" -Overlord_Venus (Master Chef Antarctica) ___________________________________________ Under drafting stages. It would take a long while before I begin here.
-
I Hate Systems
4.7
11th November 2018 On a rainy day in the city of Hong Kong, Li Qiu dejectedly walked in a local park ignoring the mocking cry of the rain as he kept thinking about his day's work as an international translator. Suddenly, golden radiance spread out from the skies followed by a series of conch sounds that roared with a battle cry out for every measurable creation to realize the beginning of something auspicious, which was immediately followed by the bursting of various electronic devices, vehicles, animals, insects and……even humans. Li Qiu, in a fit of panic, instinctively reached for his phone when a blinding light shone from within the phone which seeped into him. <...ding?...> "Damn you....'ding' my ass, get out from my body" ________________________________________________ Currently rewriting the first 14 chapters of volume 1 to make to the plot better. Current rewrite progress: Chapter 3 ________________________________________________ Release rate: 1 chappie/day Runner-up in the #32 writing contest: Systems
Moments
5d100: How did he escape from all those hundreds of seniors that were looking for him??? That shady fortune teller.
Cultivation Chat Group · C709
MarkofWisdom: "....it seems your ghost spirit is having an incredible time and has an incredibly bright future ahead of it! And your love life is about to have it's spring....why are you crying?"
Cultivation Chat Group · C709
KermitGunner: boy, this is great. really well done fanfiction where we actually connect to the mc and don't just remember the original mc. this one of the few stories in which i don't capitalize so i don't waste time and get back to the story. props
Dragonborn Saga
keda: I think it's better to continue as you were doing with the auxiliary volume
publish it in excel will be a ticket for you and for us to read it
I'm sorry if there is any fault, English is not my native language
keep up the good job ;3I Hate Systems · C43
Rebirth: Desperate Life of Wild Chicken
certe: Ah! Man all humans worry about Machines taking over mankind.
We Never thought Trees could be so dangerous.
And if your taking about older trees in some areas 10,000 yr trees are pretty common and 100,000 yr tree is oldest I have ever seen.I Hate Systems · C41
MartyUrsus: The fact that the girl is already treating the mc like **** is a put off for this story dropped because of stupid mc letting everyone and their dog walk all over him.
I Hate Systems · C6
BloodKing69: I thought she said she didnt know how it was done and now she knows?
Mc trusted the wrong person, he opened up to her right away but now someone needs to be perceptive enough for her to reveal the truth..I Hate Systems · C13
BloodKing69: Still no explanation on the 13 yo kid having such constructive and thorough thoughts huh?
I Hate Systems · C12
BloodKing69: Still no explanation on the 13 yo kid having such constructive and thorough thoughts huh?
I Hate Systems · C12
Umaeri: very unique novel has a lot of potential. ty for the chapters
I Hate Systems · C40
Overlord_Venus: Amazing novel, one of the best I have ever discovered here in webnovel. While I was reading through the story, the entire scenario was constantly playing in my head like a movie with VR. That's the height of immersion I have experienced while reading this novel. To those who are still lurking around in the reviews section.... Yeah you... And you... Try to read the first 10 chapters... Welcome to the world of fireheart
Fireheart: The Warrior, the Witch, and the Vampire
Fireheart: The Warrior, the Witch, and the Vampire
Piokilek: Guys, 19 chapters in and only 4 reviews? Come on you can do better. Writing Quality is great, Stability of updates is top notch. Uuuuh Story Development is even better and character designs and world-building, I can say it with one word: Perfect.
Fireheart: The Warrior, the Witch, and the Vampire
Sun_Saint: I have to say that I really enjoyed reading this amazing hidden gem. The first few chapters had a bit of *******ish feel to it with lacking punctuation and a couple of other errors, but the quality really picked up from chapter 12 onwards. Now at chapter 30, I feel as if the author is a veteran in this field.
I Hate Systems
MishaK: Li Quo is interesting! The way story is developing, I don't feel like leaving it! The author has very nicely explained the book-related vocabulary in the beginning. Basically a unique concept.
I Hate Systems
Jamison_C: The author has created an interesting and engaging premise with the starting chapters.
Idea of humans equipped with powers after an apocalyptic event comes across clearly.
The ******* of dealing with the environment and one's new powers creates an engaging background.
All the best!I Hate Systems
HeartPiercingSpear: Please update the list and all the auxiliary chapters too please
I Hate Systems · C0
Overlord_Venus: The story development is fantastic. There has already been a significant character development and the plot has also been gaining sufficient depth. A really immersive experience. Will wait for the future chapters.
The Queen's Avatar
Rwgey: You're acting like a 10 year old, every word you type instantly makes you look edgy and imprudent.
The Queen's Avatar
Rwgey: Not your novel, whenever I want to update I will.
I do this purely for fun and it sucks to see people like you who hate on other people's works without reasoning.
So what? I play games, I'm lazy, and sometimes I really don't feel like writing.
Keep hating on more novels bud.The Queen's Avatar
JMaian: I'm not an editor can't help you, just an avid/addict reader. Sowe 😅
I Hate Systems · C39
JMaian: Sentence problem, good pace, keep it up. TY
I Hate Systems · C39
veronicapurcell3: No problems at all. Writing is a constant lesson since the English language is forever reinventing itself. You do have a good story on your hands and with tighter grammar, it'll only get better and attract more reads. Keep at it :)
I Hate Systems · C12
Preet: ya i agree who is the mc again clarify for us plz
I Hate Systems · C18
veronicapurcell3: I really like the interaction between Enbi Arin, Prakash and Li Qiu. Their characters were distinct as they worked their menial jobs. Well done there.
Enbi Arin is a bit of a hard-nose girl, isn't she?XD. It'll be good to add in some light and shade to her character. Is her thoughts contrary to her outward appearance? Or does she fidget on the spot when she's nervous? It's good to see other sides of her, so she doesn't appear one sided all the time.:)
There is quite a bit of grammar fixes required. I wouldn't rely too much on Grammarly to catch them all, but they should help you with closing the dialogue. I noticed that you had numerous errors with dialogue formatting. So, below is some feedback on this. I hope it helps.
[“yeah push them a bit to the right and stack them up on top of each other” instructed Enbi Arin.]
Capital on 'yeah' in “Yeah push them a bit...”. Full stop at the end of the dialogue. Capitalise the word, “Instructed”, since an action follows the dialogue.
I've noticed that a lot of the dialogue is not closed off with a comma or full stop. Also, if you use a full stop because the sentence following the dialogue is an action, the next word needs to begin with a capital.
["...Aren't you stronger than me? You..."]
Aren't you stronger is a question and a different condition to the following sentence.
From dialogue, "Big bro you look pale" to "Wuwu, my cute little brother is bullying me.....", I have no idea who is talking.
You need to add the character, so it's clear to a reader who the voice belongs too. Generally, the flow of conversation is as follows:
"Speaker One is talking," said Speaker One.
"Speaker Two is talking," said Speaker Two.
"Is that so?"
"Yes it is so."
Since there are only two speakers talking, you can continue with just the dialogue. As soon as another character enters the conversation or the event changes, is when you'd need to add in a reminder of who is speaking or doing what.
"Speaker One is talking," said Speaker One.
"Speaker Two is talking," said Speaker Two.
"Is that so?"
"Yes it is so."
"Hey guys! What's up?" Speaker Three intruded on the conversation.
"Oh, it's you again." Moaned Speaker Two.
"What's with the attitude?"
You're on to a good start with the story. Keep writing and polishing your gem.
Thanks for sharing.
[**: Sorry for the long comment , but I was responding to your forum post on review/feedback. Cheers.]I Hate Systems · C12
