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In my last life, I can't live the life that I want. in this Life, I shall live to my fullest. As a playboy Ninja, I shall kidnap the beautiful heroine from their own world. ...... this story is a Harem story, so if you truly despise Harem Novel, do not try to read it. Multidimensional world, with Naruto world as MC's homeworld. broken Grammar, kindly ask you to help me fix my broken grammars
Spider-Man: Duty and Loss · C58
NotYourCat: Author, please skip this event... Just please....The Multiverse Conqueror · C89
The Multiverse Conqueror · C89
NotYourCat: The novel is good, the feeling it gives me is similar to when I read start by becoming mangaka... The MC is already the strongest in this universe, so I think there will be no plot from canon that you should follow..
And I like you to focus on the slice of life of him making harems rather than giving this novel forced plot and make the reader lost interest...
Trust me, you are talented in writing slice of life moment, so I suggest you do that...
Well a bit of time skip is welcomed tho, want to see him have snu snu moments with his harem...Life in DXD · C28
Life in DXD · C28
Reborn as Naruto's Twin Brother · C92
Layfon: He's been treating Yasaka like his master ever since they met. And she's taking full advantage of thatPower Manipulator in Dxd · C36
Jasonenrick: I am so confused so ....confused ...wait a minute
Time travel so he "saves" Esdeath and then they will get together but what about his time with little princess ....;(A Ninja System · C0
Naruto: Sexual Strengthening · C3
Apophis_: I really liked the story but the ending would be cooler if his sister goes and dies for something or someone he gets full nervous and kills everyone and destroys the world when I found that he can't reincarnate his sister because an old troll used a treasure to save his her soul and so he will have to go to various worlds looking for clues about his sister could already have several other booksA Ninja System · C0
Light_snow: Oh, raito, =rai = lightning ?A Ninja System · C0
username_569: Okay I get that you're trying to make things hard for the MC to not make the story so bland but the way you're doing it is making the story trash(no offence).
Look if you really want to make some trouble for the MC that doesn't seem so forced and stupid then make some **** up that at least makes some since and can be connected to what you already have written.. (the whole making the OP MC useless at times like this for stupid reasons is always a mistake... it makes zero to no sense and just gives reason to criticism) you could have easily had it so that the enemy took one of the MC's wife(girlfriends) thus buying time for whatever they are doing and not making the MC stupid... as for "roadblocks" for the MC just make him choose between love and power by having the enemy do something that could take power or something (of course they would have taken a loved one and forced him to give his power) and then have the MC power up and have a good fight or have someone that would be as strong as the MC( someone for the anime that got a power up do to the MC being in the world and changing things or because of his wishes...
Look I'm not trying to talk **** to you (even if it seems I am) I'm just hoping you use my advice to improve the story and make it it to something good...
**.. you dont even have to use my advice as long as you improve the story...anyways I hope you keep improving and writing 😁iFanfic: just another common fanfic with a system.(currently in Naruto) · C0
ColeSly: where's the next chap? author please don't drop it😫😫😫Absolute Fantasy · C20
NotYourCat: Hell yeah, sushi from cooking master boy... 🤣Prince of Cooking · C34
Prince of Cooking · C34
NotYourCat: It's late but shakugan sounds cool... Sounds like a tittle of an animeThe Sharingan Hyuga · C32
The Sharingan Hyuga · C32
ADD: I hope it's not a nerf, it can be an upgrade, it can recover everyone's members with its flame, and maybe he had some form of training and even developed spirit-related skills after all this time.Devil Fruit Powers in The Tower of God · C35
NyuuVioleRin: Too...many...people....to...google... x.xBang Dream! My New Life Story · C16
Darkdelusion: Fantasy is better than real life. Betrayals only break heart😢Divine Emperor of Death · C41
vincentcloud: Please man lol love does give you strength, strength to go on strength to improve yourself and strength to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love, you probably don't even have anyone to love otherwise you would say that yes love makes you stronger it's sad that you think otherwise love doesn't give you physical strength it gives you the will to push through your limits to be better and become better it doesn't translate to physical strength it translates to your mentality that you will do everything you possibly can to make the ones you love happy.Dragon King of Apocalypse (Douluo Dalu 3) · C2
Brezer: So every chapter nobody wants the fiancee in the story but she seems to keep showing up. Just digging the hole deeper and with him needing 1 wife and 4 concubines her personality wont work. The better choice would be the princess since she was raised around that environment.Super Emperor System · C32
southgamez: I I don't know... I like her as well but I feel shes a bit softhearted for SorenTraversing the Anime Multiverse with a System · C37
animes_vitions: You are going to make him hokage level at 13 aren't you?Dimensional Playboy Ninja · C0
NulZilch: There's nothing called space nature in naruto world. It all about seals and eye techniques. Minato upgraded flying thunder technique of tobirama which was based on summoning. And chakra control better than tsunade at 3-4yrs age? Does he even have any standard to compare it with? Might guy become one of the strongest person in naruto by hard work, and you can't get yours strong without any bull****ting?
You character don't have to act cringy/creepy towards girls. "Princess" "my waifu" it's all too cringy and creepy. Kids don't understand love of that kind. You can just have them act as normal friend build base for it, and can go for romance later. No need to include forced plot events like hyuga ninja attacking a normal civilian boy for talking to hinata(lmao, seriously?), and now the is kid actually going to stop a grown ass kumo ninja from kidnapping a girl(lmao again, please don't go the route of kyubi festival where civilians beat up naruto and hokage is evil who took all his inheritance). Hinata fell for naruto because he inspired her to never give up despite failing everytime and
being constantly ridiculed for it, not because he was some kid ninja god. Romance is simple, just write a common one where a guy or girl ask each other out for date if you can't think of anything. Ninja clans don't stop girls or guys marrying outside of clan, especially when the other party is a strong ass ninja.Dimensional Playboy Ninja · C0
ChikaYo: I don’t really care about Charlotte unusual ‘lover’ or whatever it is, what i don’t like is her attitude..
1. She doesn’t explain anything to James.
2. She doesn’t give James a chance to talk to her at all.
3. She is James fiancee but she keep avoiding him.
4. Without a conversation, how can their relationship start? If she doesn’t understand a simple things like that it just mean she’s still a kid and doesn’t deserve the Queen seat.
So yeah, even a woman with hidden motive like Amira is far better than Charlotte in my opinion.. Just reading Charlotte attitude towards James when he try to improve their relation already make me mad.. 😅Super Emperor System · C22
NotYourCat: You know author, she already becomes the most hated character in not even 20 chapters, and I know that you intended to make her become a major character...
But I just want to remind you, in all novels with the mc have a fiancee on the first few chapters, almost all of that MC's fiancee is a *****. And your introduction of charlotte's character is just like what the majority of that novel introduced the fiancee characters.
It'll actually okay if you make the mc ignore her, but you wrote it as like MC in love with her just because of her appearance, and make the reader really hate that the mc care about someone who likely becomes a potential ***** fiancee like other novel...
I hope the best for this novel, and it is up to you what you want to do to Charlotte, and if you really want to make her the main heroine, I hope you make it so that the reader will not hate, or get annoyed at her. Well, from the comments that I read is actually the majority of your reader already hate her tho...Super Emperor System · C22
Super Emperor System · C22
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