Also before I forget: I think you should make it a bit clearer about the characters' strength in this universe. What I mean by that is the fact that we know that the MC went through multiple upgrades, but how does he fare against others? I'm not saying that you should be extremely precise, HP's magic system isn't that kind of system. But maybe some general distinctions. Like Newbie Wizard, Experienced Wizard, etc. it doesn't have to be those exact distinctions, just choose ones that you find relevant. By doing that, you'll help the readers truly feel the MC's strength improvements. Otherwise, it feels a bit too vague and make it hard for readers to truly care about the strength improvements. Hope that helps.
Writing quality: Many things to improve, though author followed some suggestions I gave in chapter 78 for chapter 79 and the result is impressive, going from 3-3.5 stars to 4.5-5 stars. Updates: no idea, I binged read the novel. Story development: Interesting emphasis on Ritual and not exactly following the Harry Potter canon. If there were things to improve on that end, I'd say the story feels a bit rushed, flying through the years at Hogwarts a bit too quickly. That's my opinion, though, so take it with a pinch of salt. Character design: Interesting. From what I've seen, enemies aren't one dimensional villains who can't learn (Except Voldy, but then it's Voldy). The MC isn't the edgy genius kind, but instead is a true good guy. Not naive, though some actions of his seem a bit naive, his age explains his reactions. After all, kids are kids and novels with a 10 years old thinking and acting like an adult is ridiculous. The parents are pretty much the perfect parents you could wish for, and the MC's friends are true friends. No useless drama between them. World background: Well, that's the Harry Potter's universe with some twists. There are also Hindu's Gods in there. I won't spoil more than that. My opinion: a feel good story about a MC being grateful for having been reincarnated into the HP's universe with some gifts. If you enjoy reading about a humble and kind MC who can still kill some horrifying monsters when needed, then it's the story for you. I recommend.
Great chapter! The difference between this one and the previous ones is massive. If you keep this kind of quality for the following chapters, I'm sure you'll attract a lot more readers!
You're welcome! From the story so far, you have the 'Inspiration' part down, now it's just a matter of accumulating experience to grow your writing skills.
Finally caught up! So far the story is interesting and the Romance is getting on track, something I enjoy very much. There are a few things that could be improved, though. The grammar: you could use gramarly. It's not perfect, but it still helps a ton. The scenes' transitions: You tend to forget those, making the switch between each scene a bit too abrupt. You can use things like, 'A while later', 'After a long while', etc. It helps connect the scenes. Tense's continuity: It's better to stick to one tense, either the past (preterit) or present. Otherwise, your paragraphs seem a bit too chaotic Sentence's flow: Some of your sentences sounds a bit unnatural. Readers understand their meanings, but they still could be written in a better way. I found three ways to improve that. First is with experience. The more you write, the better you'll get. Second, when you read other novels, pay attention to the way they structure their own paragraphs/sentences, the combination of words they use, etc. Third, once you're done with writing your chapter, reread the whole things slowly and try to sound it in you head. If a word or sentence feels wrong, try to find a better phrasing. It takes more time, but it makes for a much better story. Anyway, feel free to take or leave what I've written. In any case, you're story is good! Keep up the good work!
Marge clutched her head and opened her mouth as if to scream, but no sound came out. Petunia and Vernon, alarmed, moved back, getting away from the commotion, as black sludge oozed from Marge's ears and nose. Maggots spilled from her mouth as she choked on them.
Harry Potter: Beyond the Parselveil (Multiverse)
Book&Literature · penguin_cake
*Kind
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Harry Potter: Beyond the Parselveil (Multiverse)
Book&Literature · penguin_cake
A true saint!
Alex rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll do both, but only because it's you. Happy?"
2 Broke Girls x 1 Rich Man [2 Broke Girls TV series x Hollywood]
TV · UnknownMaster
Agreed!
Eirikyr slid his hands down to her waist, pulling her even closer. Their lips met in a fiery kiss, the intensity rivaling that of their initial encounter.
Marvel: I Need A New Body
Anime & Comics · Marveller
I'm in the same boat. Honestly, I find everything else interesting enough for me to enjoy the read, but Victor's personality is... Well, he's a teen. The good kind of teen, but a teen nonetheless. And to answer your question, it's not a matter of including more gore, at least not for me, but more about a certain psychological maturity. It's hard to be more specific than that. But that doesn't make the story bad in any way, it's just not for people like me.
I Can Only Cultivate In A Game
Games · TimVic