Fraktal - Profile

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this fanfic. The first problem is that too many things are happening too fast for no reason, as if to avoid giving the MC some time to think and thus he feels kinda braindead. Like how is it possible that just when he finishes his first scenario it happens to be enrollement time for the shitty academy, like in 10 minutes it seems? It’s alright if author wants to write a proper story as a fanfic but then it has to avoid having us suspend our disbelief too much. The second is that the MC is very much unlikable, at least to me. He is a proper little bitch that whines non stop and wants to ask 1000 questions at the most inappropriate times. Yes, he is a proper little whiny bitch. His supposed ‘professional con artist’ title is utter bullshit, the dude is obviously a braindead maggot that keeps on getting excited and hard as soon as he gets the most obvious thing right lol. Grinning and laughing like a fool for everyone to see, supposedly learned to control his emotions to perfection lmao, professional con artist my ass. The MC is a proper beta Japanese shonen protagonist, I’m saying as a warning for people like me who don’t like that. It would have been a much better story if the MC was a more silent type loner’ smart and ruthless based on his background of living on the streets and fending for himself as an orphan. I kept my hope up for more Than 30 chaps but he’s still a little bitch, so don’t give an MC an innapropriate background, if he is a little whiny braindead beta Then say it from the start!!! Anyway except for these points that ruin it, the rest is pretty good. I hope the author would correct these flaws in his next work (too much disbelief, wrong pacing and innapropriate MC) because he seems to have good potential!

The most forced stuff is his necessity to train harder than the main characters. What bullshit. The system is a 10x reward, he should be able to lay flat and become OP as long as he lays low and waits a little, why is he so restless to get stronger? It’s so nonsensical! He has already bound it to his twin sister who is supposed to be a monster for god’s sake. Anyway it leaves a bad taste due to this unnecessary route.

This feels very much like a randomly cobbled up together story. Things just pop outta nowhere and many settings of the world background just don’t make any sense or are forced to justify the story. The most annoying thing is the MC, he feels braindead and make stupid mistakes. You can see it clearly with the elixir thing at the beginning. He just strolls in the clan, digs an ancient elixir and goes at the center of the clan where it is watched by powerful people to give it to his sister?? WTF, how would he justify having something like that, found it on the roadside? But thankfully forced development happens and he gets beat up half to death (which he should have seen coming but we’ll be is braindead) and gets a forced opportunity to give it to his sister (like why the hell did she appear?). Same for the market where he gets pickpocketed in his own clan’s market. Anyway the story is full of cliche forced development such as this. It’s sad. It could have been good.

It should be a problem with the shameless google translation. Months should be weeks and then it adds up.

If you keep going like that with a detach scientist wit some lustful tendencies, and with the future harem that is shaping up at chapter 4, this will be good :)

Very well done. The story flows like smooth butter! I like where it is going (as of chap 37), and really hope you don’t drop it. If you can increase releases a bit it would be even more perfect :)

This story is all over the place with no heads or tail. Most of the time we don’t know what’s happening, the relationships between characters are a convoluted mess, and everything is a testament of Beauty, grandeur, dedication and whatnot. All of this seems made to artificially grant the characters, world and plot some unfathomable profoundness. Let me say that it does the opposite. Too much of this makes this story almost a joke with how much the author wants to show us this ‘grand’ work. Author, you should tone it down a bit and stop jumping scenes all around and take your time in unfolding the plot. We don’t need to know everything that’s happening all the time at the same moment. If you want us to see this world as you want us to see it, it has to be subtle and not ‘in your face’. And please, slow down a bit and explain things at a normal pace to give us time to ingest what you want us to. Dropped near chapter 40 at the moment.

Very well made. I hope you continue your story and don’t drop like 99% of the authors in the fanfic section :) (............................)

Well maybe I exagerated a bit. My standard for the CORNBRINGER is set at The Prideful One, and I had no problem enjoying it from back to back. This one, though it is readable as you say, it goes all over the place and becomes hard to follow as you dive into a chapter. Couple that with somme grammatical mistakes and I’m feeling the CORN slipping away if you get what I’m saying. Maybe it’s too whacky for me idk... I’ll be back for your next Magnum Cornus though, till then I wish you well Venerable Bringer of the Corn :)

hmmmmmmmmmmm why do people say that the grammar is great when it is barely readable? Sentence structure is a mess and wrong words and/or filler words where left after a a rewrite.... I had to drop around chapter 20 due to how unreadable it got... Can you please fix it mighty CORNBRINGER? Thank you !

Oh hell yes. Finally some good fucking fan fiction. The writing, grammar, chapter lenght, character design, hell everything is perfect. It’s so rare to find that on webnovel. Could easily take number one if author keeps the story rolling at this level!

The previous work of author was quite good! I can’t wait to see if/how he will improve in this one. Good luck for your new fanfiction !!!!!!