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Fraktal

Fraktal

LV 15
2018-11-03 Joined Global

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Moments 15

Fraktal
Posted

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this fanfic. The first problem is that too many things are happening too fast for no reason, as if to avoid giving the MC some time to think and thus he feels kinda braindead. Like how is it possible that just when he finishes his first scenario it happens to be enrollement time for the shitty academy, like in 10 minutes it seems? It’s alright if author wants to write a proper story as a fanfic but then it has to avoid having us suspend our disbelief too much. The second is that the MC is very much unlikable, at least to me. He is a proper little bitch that whines non stop and wants to ask 1000 questions at the most inappropriate times. Yes, he is a proper little whiny bitch. His supposed ‘professional con artist’ title is utter bullshit, the dude is obviously a braindead maggot that keeps on getting excited and hard as soon as he gets the most obvious thing right lol. Grinning and laughing like a fool for everyone to see, supposedly learned to control his emotions to perfection lmao, professional con artist my ass. The MC is a proper beta Japanese shonen protagonist, I’m saying as a warning for people like me who don’t like that. It would have been a much better story if the MC was a more silent type loner’ smart and ruthless based on his background of living on the streets and fending for himself as an orphan. I kept my hope up for more Than 30 chaps but he’s still a little bitch, so don’t give an MC an innapropriate background, if he is a little whiny braindead beta Then say it from the start!!! Anyway except for these points that ruin it, the rest is pretty good. I hope the author would correct these flaws in his next work (too much disbelief, wrong pacing and innapropriate MC) because he seems to have good potential!

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Commented

Why no updates? I hope this isn’t dropped.

This book has been deleted.
Fraktal
Posted

This story is fire as of chapter 30. The concept is especially good, I hope it keeps going in the direction where Matthew creates his organization, controls the world and we see the evolution of humans over especially long periods of time. If you keep going in this direction, I have no doubt that your story will be in the top 10 all time with more chapters. Also I suggest you rename it to simply ‘Time Merchant’ to be more elegant. Keep going author!

This book has been deleted.
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