MC_Dakki
Lv 4- Joined Dec 2018
- New Zealand
- Male
My work is in the medical field so you will see a heavy influence in my works. I value feedback so feel free to do so.
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Author
Published more than 100000 words on Webnovel
Endeavor
Checked in for a total of 90 days
Who am I?
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Original Works
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Otherworldly
4.7
Sebastian is a male nurse that has seen it all - from powerful, elite-tiered political patients to broken, forgotten scraps of humanity. When his last area of exposure goes awry, he ends up fatally wounded. Forcefully reborn into an alternate dimension which had always been closely intertwined with Earth, he is now faced with a new world to learn and grow again. How will his previous nursing skills fare in a world with magic and fantasy monsters? *Updated weekly
Moments
Shinkyo1: Anticlimatic. The novel is very well written but that's it. The pace is so so slow but ... then the author makes great jumps in time without reason or explation. In a moment the mc is starting training the next has abilities and he combats. You don't know how he learn them, the process or anything. In the 14 first chapters there is not explanation of skill system. The mc is not coherent and the reactions are not realistic. He is a nurse in Africa and has stupid reactions every time he sees a dead body. He should be beyond violence, dead and ... everything. The story development doesn't have any appealing and is anticlimactic. Well, I don't want to be more critic. Maybe what surprised me more was that all where excellent reviews... The story has potencial but must be rewritten.
Otherworldly
In short, I did try to cram many things at once. I'll be able to finish this volume soon enough. I'll definitely spend more time on the next one. (Though I might end up releasing one chapter a week at that time again.) Thank you again! View More
TalenDrake: I'm just going to leave my feedback here rather than a review. I am losing interest in the story, and I'll explain why: The writing is too "stiff" for lack of a better word. Nothing flows well, and the reasoning of characters is non-sensical. Too discuss the forced reasoning from 2 scenes ago, in the middle of a cave-in scene lacks the ******* the scene should have. Mel of all people should not be calm in this situation. PTSD isn't cured in a week, and this constant over simplification of problems just makes the story not work at all.
You have some ability to write, however you are trying to do too much all at once. If I were your editor, I'd tell you to break the overall plot into archs with one main thread and no more than two sub-threads. One sub-thread should tie to the last main thread, and the other should fore-shadow the next main thread. Timing wise, things should be taking reasonable amounts of time months instead of days, years instead of weeks.Otherworldly · C27
TalenDrake: This chapter makes very little sense. If anything, given Becky's character, she would have tortured him for more information. So she's either in on the plan and killed him to stop him from giving out too much information, and is therefore someone to be suspicious of, or this is just completely out of character writing.
Otherworldly · C25
TalenDrake: This chapter makes very little sense. If anything, given Becky's character, she would have tortured him for more information. So she's either in on the plan and killed him to stop him from giving out too much information, and is therefore someone to be suspicious of, or this is just completely out of character writing.
Otherworldly · C25
IronM: *Leo should provide this short book to serve as a guide for you.* from chap-2
*Ah this book was written before half races came about.* from chap-3.... is Leo not THE half raceOtherworldly · C3
IronM: *Leo should provide this short book to serve as a guide for you.* from chap-2
*Ah this book was written before half races came about.* from chap-3.... is Leo not THE half raceOtherworldly · C3
Chaoticmike: Mc should write a whole book on how to treat people so he wouldn't forget.
Otherworldly · C3
BaconPancakes: Really liking this so far. Everything is well reasoned out.
Otherworldly · C6
BaconPancakes: Really liking this so far. Everything is well reasoned out.
Otherworldly · C6
Flipdfiles: Hmmm...I think this is something of a good start. I like that the character is a male nurse just like me. Yay!
Otherworldly · C1
Flipdfiles: Hmmm...I think this is something of a good start. I like that the character is a male nurse just like me. Yay!
Otherworldly · C1
Book_Keeper: Hello, your novel has been assessed by Virtual Bookshelf.
To see your assessment results, please navigate to
https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/23/webnovel-assessments-21/
Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)Otherworldly · C23
Book_Keeper: Hello, your novel has been assessed by Virtual Bookshelf.
To see your assessment results, please navigate to
https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/23/webnovel-assessments-21/
Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)Otherworldly · C23
BaconPancakes: Wish this had more chapters. I'll vote for your story from now on. Cheers!
Otherworldly · C22
BaconPancakes: Wish this had more chapters. I'll vote for your story from now on. Cheers!
Otherworldly · C22
VeronicaP3: Nice start. The writing is pretty solid and compelling to draw my read down the page. I liked I slowly learned of Sebastian and his new world in gradual descriptions. Even though he has been somewhat transmigrated into a new body and world, there is still an end-hook to go to the next chapter. I was kind of scratching my head as to why he was given an easy explanation on what he now is. Guess that can be a foreboding for things to come.
Cool chapter. Keep writing. :)Otherworldly · C1
TheVirginPervert: Mmmm? If they have received visitors from other worlds and timelines then why the technology is so underdeveloped? o.o
Otherworldly · C1
TheVirginPervert: Mmmm? If they have received visitors from other worlds and timelines then why the technology is so underdeveloped? o.o
Otherworldly · C1
VeronicaP3: **: sorry for my crappy commenting, my keyboard is playing up and finding it funny to skip over words - lol!
Otherworldly · C1
VeronicaP3: Nice start. The writing is pretty solid and compelling to draw my read down the page. I liked I slowly learned of Sebastian and his new world in gradual descriptions. Even though he has been somewhat transmigrated into a new body and world, there is still an end-hook to go to the next chapter. I was kind of scratching my head as to why he was given an easy explanation on what he now is. Guess that can be a foreboding for things to come.
Cool chapter. Keep writing. :)Otherworldly · C1
