A rookie writer who needs to get some practice in.
2019-04-11 Joined Ascension Island
oh no, I became what I wanted to destroy
It was no doubt that he was a university student who received top notched education and that he watched a lot of TV shows that involved teleporting someplace far away. But even so, he still couldn't accept it when such a thing happened to him; apart from thinking that something was wrong with his mind, there was no other explanation he could come up with.
Sci-fi · Shi Wen
The thing he used once and didn't know how to replicate, he magically applied the same skill to his daggers?
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
Suddenly he has combat instincts, an amazing ability to calculate and the ability to fly on wind?
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
Suddenly went from the MC apparently knowing how to put on the gear in seconds after never having fought in his life, until the fight with the prodigy, to suddenly the sage being there? No struggles putting on the gear or mention of sage suddenly appearing.
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
What happened to his ribs what hurt whenever he moved?
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
We get mention of a room, statues and a door but no mention of materials, back to the thing about descriptions not having much detail.
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
So just the wind from his punch knocked down several trees but the MC casually caught it before?
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
So a human who just did a little training caught an Orc's club and suffered no damage?
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
We suddenly went from he's in his house stronger to he's face to face with an Orc, there was no transition, no mention of him travelling to go find one.
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
Three weeks with no rest days and he doubled his strength... There is a reason people take rest days, it's to recover from high-intensity training and to allow their bodies to heal, making them stronger.
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
Cliches are a bit of a tight rope, they either work well or make people lose interest.
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Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
Some scenes are cut short and could use more of a description, some paragraphs would be better if they were separated into smaller chunks. The fighting scenes were good, experiment with different styles and see what works for you.
ch 0 1 A NEW BEGINNING
Fantasy · Cursed_Warlock
Yeah but it says "I had no pets or animals", think its talking about not having farm animals
I finally pulled into my yard, and it was getting late. Even though I live far out on my own, I had no pets or animals, so no one was waiting to greet me.
Fantasy · Magic_
It really hasn't, his first fireball was red and could only take out a clearing. His current fireball can take out a cities front gate and is blue. Tell me brother, have you been reading all these chapters with your nose?
Schuck looked at the pit and felt shocked too. "They say that Saint Samurai is one of the three OP classes, but I think that Mage is the real OP one."
Games · Soaring Flames
Have you never heard of a hand drill?
Fangzheng moved the bucket back in the yard, drilled a hole in the middle of the ice, and poured the unfrozen water away. Finally, he flipped the bucket and placed it on the ground before slowly lifting the bucket.
Urban · A Golden Millet Dream
Remember that this like basically a public bus, 3 pound for a bus ticket while it's 5 pound for a phone repair, does that help you understand?
"Hehe, we're not that close yet, but I only need a little fee for it. I will fix your gear for 5 Enas."
Games · Qi Peijia
It only costs like 5RMB to make a 3kRMB gold fish, you forget he doesn't actually spend much to get the fish.
Chu Xian didn't mind his reaction; he was planning to treat all his employees like this in the future.
Realistic · Little Fish Eats Dragon Meat
"It was clear after removing the box how the man had died, a dagger lay in his chest, whoever had put it there hadn't found the body yet." It was the blood loss that did him in.
ch 0 1 Start of a journey
Deathbound Cultivation
Action · TheRougeBanker