Webnovel Author: Dd_B - Fanfic&Novel Collection

this thing makes me laugh a lot. the quality is bad, the name/gender often wrong, some dialogues doesnt mean shit like a good mtl...but even that cannot remove the fun of it. a good surprise.

you should lower your use of foreshadowing. its ...really bad as it is. Crisis feels artificial, whats with everytime the biggest problem is the one accounted for? wtf bro? Everyone know jake is controlled but it still become THE probleme? just..no, its bs. Still have a good time but i tell you, i skip a lot of content, like 20 chapters all at once to get to the interesting part like i went from her being shot to jake breaking free...so all that work between was for naught, and all fillers and repetition of info dump stuck in important moment...learn to balance the rythme, its a real problem for me and theres an aftertaste of scam that is real bitter. when theres 3 chapter about bello thinking about his skills in war, or 3 chapter per skill of ghost saving the days...cheh

theres a problem tho, 10% of the novel is fighting >.<

some typo and some unintresting para every other chapter. The story have a 40K vibes that is hard to ignore and it feel it started as a fanfic. The feel is like a robot taizen OG team in 40k/mass effect. it is what i needed.