WHAT BORDER? THE STATE BORDER? THE COUNTRY'S BORDER? WHAT BORDER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Are we sure that we are still in the U.S. of A? Because I am almost a hundred percent certain that states are not countries unto themselves, and so therefore need to border patrol to examine every single person that is passing through state lines. Also, don't do that thing where you defend yourself by saying that this is a fictional world. That only applies if you have EXPLAINED why the state lines have such guards. Which you have not. It is literally the first time this has been mentioned, when Ezra was crossing it. If you are writing a story set in the real world, or some alternate version of the modern world, with all the countries and nations of our world and almost all the technology, you have the explain the changes that happen to that world because of the elements that makes it fantasy/fictional. You can't just introduce a concept to the story, never explain it, and expect your readers to not be taken from the immersion. Anyways, no hate to the story or you as a writer, but just take this into consideration. For now, I am going to assume the story takes place in the US, the 'border' being mentioned are state borders, and that the payment to travel through the border is just a payment to travel through states.
As they boarded the Ferris wheel again and it ascended, Ezra couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there was more to the man he'd help, and having recognized him from his criminal records... 'I knew the guys who kept using the serum were connected, but even past the border...?'
Anime & Comics · PettiaMius_6689
im confused, is he leaving the US or a state?
I would also recommend creation patreon exclusive content other than just advanced chapters.
Another thing, the numbers of patrons hasn't been rising lately, do you think there is something I should improve in this fic to gain more readers or patrons? Is the fic boring or what? Tell me!!
Anime & Comics · Marveller
I just don't think there is anything interesting in the far off future of the fic that would merit a patreon sub. Like, the fic is interesting, sometimes something interesting happens that catches my attention, the smut is good, but there doesn't seem to be an overarching story that would demand a sub. I can just wait until the good stuff, if there are any. Any way, what I am trying to say is that there is no incentive for subscribing to read ahead because I can't see anything that is worth my money to read right now that I can just wait for.
Another thing, the numbers of patrons hasn't been rising lately, do you think there is something I should improve in this fic to gain more readers or patrons? Is the fic boring or what? Tell me!!
Anime & Comics · Marveller
Ok, I get the limitations placed by the world, he can only generate 1000 Gold a day right now. But I am confused by this last section. Like, if he spends 500 Gold, then wouldn't he be able to generate 1000 gold again tomorrow then pay the charity- Oh, he can't pay charity because he isn't old enough. You need to make that more clear, I had to write this to figure it out.
Don't use sound effects, just tell us the sound that happens and we can imagine it much better than you could explain it to us in written form.
This book has been deleted.
The best balance between musculature, muscle definition, flexibility, and aesthetics. Much like a sprint runner's physique.
"There is no greater distraction upon this ship or in my very life than you Elesmere." I said as I stood up from my own meditation mat and confidently stripped my clothes showing off the strong swimmer's physique, I had crafted with my body cultivation, leaving no natural imperfections except for a couple moles to avoid the uncanny valley effect.
Video Games · Azazyel
Its good. Its kind of slow, but good. I like it.
Though I'm curious: how many of y'all even like this novel? Since, to me, it feels somewhat subpar.
Movies · Ozonelayer
Essence of Blank
please no cliff hanger like this for a long time. please please please
Harry Potter: Dimensional Wizard
Book&Literature · LazySageDao