Webnovel Author: waterbaloon - Novel&Fanfic Collection

If its your first writing then there is no problems. it 100 percent gets better the more you write. And in this stories case I was way too critical of the story. It really isnt bad at all. Just diluted from the language barrier

Oh also, When I say these I dont mean any ill will towards you. Language barriers really **** with story writing and I understand that. My review may be a little more critical than it needs to be because of this language barrier. You can improve and it does get better the more you write. Keep it up and im sure ill enjoy your writing :)

Here is my review of the series. To be completely frank, its not that good. Im not gonna go into the bad grammar because it is probably just a language barrier but even not taking that into account it isnt that great. The story is generic and every character isnt even a character. They feel like lifeless corpses that sometimes talk. Yota has no character development throughout the entire series and neither does any other characters. Thats just bad writing not a language barrier. And the story itself isnt that great. Its not horrible but not good. Im guessing that the language barrier makes it hard to convey a story but the storyline itself isnt good. Its generic but sometimes generic feels nice no its not horrible. Also, never, never never never use emojis in a story. It doesnt look good. The dialouge also feels very unnatural but I can just say that is the language barrier. Also I wouldnt use “she said” or “he said” in a story too much. Once you have an understanding of which person is saying what you dont need to say that each time. Thats my review. I would talk more but dont have the expertise. overall I give the story a 3/5.