CokeWhale

CokeWhale

LV 1
2020-11-28 Joined Global
Badges 3

Moments 58
CokeWhale
CokeWhale
10 days ago
Posted

As soon as the writer stops being able to rely on the copied plot from Debut or Die, the house of cards completely falls apart. Around chapter 100 especially is when everything just goes off the rails, and idiot-plotting takes the wheels with one poorly thought out, idiotic, forced plot after another. Anyone who gives this more than a 3 are insane.

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
11 days ago
Commented

You've very clearly exposed yourself as a bad writer in these past 10 or so chapters, if the fact that you're basically copying the plot from another story didn't already make that obvious. These have been such forced, nonsensical chapters, it's not even remotely worth reading.

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
11 days ago
Commented

That face reveal was genuinely some of the worst writing I've ever seen. You had built it up for so long, and instead of actually having it make an impact, you just casually throw it away like this. Could have made a really awesome scene out of it, but instead the whole mask thing just became a massive waste of time for everyone involved.

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
24 days ago
Posted

The writing is essentially GPT-slop. At least 60% of the wordcount could be removed and it would only leave a better story behind. Characters feel disingenuous, as every piece of stilted dialogue has been turned into fancy-sounding drivel by letting the AI (re-?)write it for you, and it really killed any chance of it ever becoming a decent story. Other than that, it drags on to a ridiculous degree, some movies taking up an endless amount of time for no reason, with scenes repeated from different points of view. Every movie generally feels the same in the characters' reactions and the general progression, which leaves behind a boring, repetitive story full of holes and an extreme overuse of AI writing. It's also very clear that you haven't done sufficient research on how movie-making, auditions or general Hollywood works. Then there's the songs forced into every project, even when they don't even remotely fit. Overall, you should be pretty ashamed of this. If it had at least been your own writing, it might be a bit more interesting, but when you run everything through an AI and just release it like that, your own voice and style is completely lost. What's left behind is a story with zero soul. Hopefully you find some way to raise your standards if you want to keep writing, if you can even call this writing.

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
1 years ago
Commented

Cheap, extremely weak writing.

I didn't catch most of that because I was still reeling from the sudden, accidental portkey. I was still blinking the lights of portkey travel out of my eyes and trying to reconcile the change in my surroundings. All I understood was 'forgive an old man his rambles' and everything after that. Whatever Dumbledore had said before was lost on me…

The Grind (And Helping Heather Potter) [Book 2]

The Grind (And Helping Heather Potter) [Book 2]

Book&Literature · Daddy

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
1 years ago
Replied to Pantless_Ninja

lol shoving it at the bottom of a description page does not give you the right to steal this from the original author

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
1 years ago
Commented

The story is "/works/15845781/" on AO3 if you want the full (unfinished and dropped) story. This pathetic guy has stolen it and is posting it gradually here. The thief is deleting reviews pointing this out.

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
1 years ago
Commented

The story is "/works/15845781/" on AO3 if you want the full (unfinished and dropped) story. This pathetic guy has stolen it and is posting it gradually here.

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
1 years ago
Commented

Story stolen from DerkAndFullOfErrors on AO3 and posted here.

CokeWhale
CokeWhale
1 years ago
Replied to FanHarem

I slogged through the start now and the story /does/ start being more coherent after chapter 3 or so. In my opinion this is a massive turn-off for new readers, and you should not just expect people to stick through the terrible writing in chapter 1/2 in hope that it will get better, and I'm positive you're losing readers because of it. Still, after that it went up to about a 3/5, maybe 4/5 for webnovel, so I'll delete this review. Good luck.