Webnovel Author: Chaoscaller - Novel Collection

Uhhh... You do know how fishy that sounds, right?

Most excellent! Can't wait to read your review!

Not a bad start to a story. Nice description, most generous use of dialogue and nice length of chapters. However, I have a slight remakr/critique, if I may. Your writing style is a bit... All over the place. For example, not using the capital form 'I' when reffering to self. Also missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences in dialogue. It reminds me of.... Well, me --A couple of years ago. I cannot say anything about stability of updates, since there only have been two chapters as of right now. However, very solid and good story, I know you can do it!

Mixed vibes in what way? Good and bad vibes or...?

Excellent, I am glad I could help you! May I ask for your input on my story as well?

Quite a nice writing style. While dialogue is more used than descriptions about surroundings, readers can make a decent image in their mind by just reading through the dialogue. Which is an art in and of itself. I do like the characterization of the characters without using much description, which is --again-- a very good thing. I've noticed slight mistakes/missing words like missing 'his', 'theirs' and a single occasion of a misused word, so quite well-written. But none of these "mistakes" take away from the reading experience. The characters are all beautifully portraited with enough drama between secondary characters to make them interesting as well! Very nice job! If I make one suggestion for the future: Try to use more descriptions of surroundings. Most people have enough with your language ad dialogue and/or can imagine the scene right in front of them. Others can't or would like to have some help from the writer, at least. Last but not least, please keep up the work! You are doing brilliantly!

I'm reading it right, no worries! My review should be up soon!

A most excellent writing style, undercut by a slightly loose grip on point-of-view. That's how I'd describe my experience reading this story. While your story is interesting, you have a tendency of starting chapters and/or sentences with 'I'. That isn't bad on its own, if you want to drive a point home. Or if it's some kind of stylistic choice. But readers get easily bored by repetition over several paragraphs. Use different words or entire sentences to highlight a different part of your character's surroundings. While I know first-person is all about one singular character, don't forget the world around them lives as well. One last tiny thing. I understand you are excited for your work to be see by the world -- as you should-- but try to keep the switching of POV (from you talking to your reader to the main character describing his adventure) to a minimum. Such things pull your reader out their immersion between chapters. If you truly want to write about such things, I'd advise using the bottom of the chapter. But first and foremost, please do carry on! You are doing marvelously!

Aha. So I just need to take more time proofreading my texts! Thank you very much for your help!

Oh, sorry, I wasn't aware of that! Please do carry on the way you've been doing then!

Thank you so much! I'll need to put this chapter through the cleaning algorithms if there are still grammatical errors... Yet, I am very happy that you enjoyed it! May I ask for your input once more when more chapters have come out? And... Could you perhaps tell me what kind of grammatical errors they were (like examples or something ) so I know what to look for.

Thank you very much for your feedback! I very much appreciate it! Would you like a review swap or...? May I ask for your feedback once more once some more chapters are out?

This is a really nice start with an intriguing world, clear goal in mind and a (for the moment) small cast which is easy to maintain and keep track of. However, if I may add a pinch of critique... It seems you confuse quotation marks (") with single 'floating comma's' ('). Quotation marks are used to signal dialogue, the other kind is mostly used to talk about the name of something. ( Example: "May I prsent to you my new work?" The man waved towards a brown leather-bound booklet. "I call it 'The guide to the world'.") Another thing. A tiny thing, really, but... Don't use verbs that convey speech after a spoken sentence. (Like "That was insane!" He yelled.) Your readers will understand that someone is screaming their lungs to shreds if need be. My tip is to use that small sentence after a spoken part to add a bit of description about the person speaking or the person who is spoken to. Show, don't tell, remember? Aside form those two minor things, you are doing a great job! Please keep it up!