Webnovel Author: evolvingyanjing - Novel Collection

Thank you! I'll do my best.

I don't really want to post my discord in public chat. I'll just say it's Ly********#7244 you should be able to find that. What's yours?

Um, I noticed that you were trying to sending me a reply for your discord invite and it got deleted. Can you update the invite on your profile?

Oh, I would love to. Can you send the invite to your discord server? The one on your profile is invaild. (Sorry about trying to reply all over the place, I'm unused to webnovel inbox)

Oh, I would love to. Can you send an invite to your server? The one you posted on your profile doesn't work.

Oh, I would love to. Can you send an invite to your discord? The one I found on your profile was invaild, I'm not sure why.

(Please note that I am currently around chapter 15 and this is not a review of the full story) Maybe I'm being too harsh by comparing this to work by published authors, but I feel like the author really needs to work on worldbuilding and prose. Firstly is worldbuilding. The premise of a reincarnator entering a new world is undoubtely intruiging. However, it's nothing special and has been done many times over. the world does not feel special either, mainly existing as a backdrop on a painting done quite sloppily. Many people don't realize how interesting a fantasy would could be. Their culture, religion, and technology could be fascinating in more ways than one. Whenever the author falls back on tropes such as isolated fiefdoms, corrupt church and incompotent absolute monarchs, it takes away much from the story. Secondly and perhaps more importantly is prose. Characters react to events in an understandable manner, but their interactions seem rather bland. Take the farmer, for instance, who simply blames our MC for all his problems at the beginning of the story. While this may be realistic to some degree, his voice seems bland, existing for the sole purpose of loathing the MC before loving him later on. Our MC doesn't use probing methods to gain an understanding of said farmer's thought process either. Neither did he draw logical conclusions based on the context of his situation. Instead, we are simply infodumped on the farmer's thoughts in a very abrupt and uninteresting manner. I'm not sure if you've heard this once or a million times, but I think you need to work on showing the individual character's thoughts through their choice of action and diction instead of simply telling us "X thinks Y because of Z". In real life situations we typically don't explain our thought processes in such a manner and doing so in a story disengages readers such as myself. Instead of telling us that the farmer is angry, maybe show us him being hostile without apparent reason before we finally gain an understanding after multiple failed attempts to probe about what's wrong. It's not a requirement to create a layered personality in every side character like George RR Martin, but I believe you should at least make your characters seem realistic and understandable. Overall, I would recommend writing lessons and lectures such as Brandon Sanderson's on worldbuilding and plot. Additionally, there are multiple online sources on prose, voice, and character interactions that I would reccomend the author to look into. I will admit that my standards are quite high and maybe unreasonable, but I just can't give this story a higher rating when it seems like a discount version of "Little Tyrant doesn't want to meet a Bad End."