avid reader/writer with a penchant for the macabre
2021-04-13 Joined South Africa
You're killing me here (excuse the pun)
i will re-analyse and see what changes i can make
ch 0 2 Tragedy
Horror 路 the_g00d_guy_
thank you so much. you've made my day
I love the intensity of the story. I was routing for the protagonist from the very start. Waiting to find out what he would discover next. i think some small grammar fixes can be done. Also some sentences can be adjusted to be slightly more dynamic. For instance: My pain in the leg was overruled by my adrenaline rush. Can be switched to: The supercharged adrenaline rush overpowered my throbbing leg. Or a straight forward sentence like: It took me close to half an hour to reach where I first came to be Can be switched to: It took me the better half of an hour to find my original starting point There's only a few of these but i love the story so far. Your experience shows and i look forward to completing the rest of the chapters. Awesome job
ch 0 4 An angel in the forest of death?
Fantasy 路 Nr_Yet1208
馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
A Nobel Blood Sacrifice
Horror 路 the_g00d_guy_