Webnovel Author: Excerpt - Fanfic Collection

From what I’ve seen so far, it’s customary to give your own works a 5 star rating as a boost. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy reading this work. At least as much as I enjoyed writing it. The world is cool, robots are cool, and titanfall is cool too. :)

I love honest reviews

Honestly, if you want any semblance of a decent story, you should turn the other way. This a pretty bad story, has no feeling to it. Is just the same as every other fan-fic. Nothing new. It’s got one of those disgustingly unoriginal “template systems” where the MC doesn’t work for their power, it’s just handed to them because they’re special. Anyway, the author has this weird obsession about discribing his 14 y/o protagonist as attractive, which is kind of weird no matter which way you look at it.

I also want to add something else that I really like about your stories. The characters actually make mistakes, they aren’t the all-perfect protagonists that seem to plague this site. That’s all.

This is just personal preference, please don’t take this as criticism on the work. I like this story, I really do. I have some issues with the way the characters are written however. So far I’m at chapter 26. The main characters are cold and unfeeling to the circumstances of the other characters. Quick to resort to the idea of killing other characters before they can do anything wrong. Now this wouldn’t be too strange, but these people were literally highschool students before transmigration. My last issue is that the main characters don’t treat the other side characters as “human”. I know that sounds a little ridiculous considering to them they literally are characters from a game they played, but it’s not really a game anymore. Maybe this changes later in the story but for now it’s really off-putting and I can’t bring myself to read anymore. This next part is criticism for the story. Please understand that this is not malicious. I do wish that the characters were a little more fleshed out. I understand that some parts of a story are intended to be intentionally vague, but I don’t think it works that well for this kind of story. The main characters feel 2 dimensional, like they’re lacking depth in their reasoning. My last criticism is that there is a weird amount of plot convenience. Specifically, the part where it talks about Nathan being an experienced person about knife combat. There was exactly no hint about that character having the experiences of someone who needed to wield a knife in the modern world. Now since I have criticized the story I feel the need to completely certain aspects as well. This is a 4 star review after all. I really enjoyed the concept of this story. The world around them was not really fleshed out that well, but it was written well in the parts where there was World building. Anyway, I hope that you continue writing stories. I look forward to more of your works.

This is my obligatory 5 star Author Review :)