The story has an interesting premise that it delivers on pretty well. I've been enjoying Lucius's journey so far, and I'm intrigued to see how the prologue becomes relevant eventually. The writing style, at least for me, took a bit of getting used to but it got much smoother as the story progressed. Story: The plot is building up pretty steadily. Things could be a little clearer, but that's more on the style. The premise is strong and the story hooks me to find out more. Style: I had the most difficulty getting into the story's writing style, which was especially prevalent in the first chapter. It's the kind of writing that makes you pay attention to what's going on, which IMO is a good thing once you get used to it. Most other technical areas are pretty solid, though I would like some more descriptions ot ground me as a visual reader. I need to be able to picture stuff and that's a litle difficult sometimes. I enjoy the pacing ehre a lt though. Nothign overstays their welcome and the story beats along really well. Grammar: Pretty solid. Some minor mistakes that a small proofread should fix. Character: Michael seems like a decent, well-intentioned protagonist caught up in things far beyond him but mkaing the best of what he can. I'm also very intrigued by Lucius and his past. Hoping to see more of his sister too. All of them are children desperate to survive, and act accordingly. Overall: This is a solid start. I'm trusting the premise in the blurb more than the story itself on what direction it's supposed to go. A little more on the fantasy aspects, like the magic and the monsters, would go a long way in making this even better. The conflict looks like it's poised right where it might escalate soon and I'm all for it. Definitely a big recommendation.
Fantasy · Akston93
Pornographic Content Hate or bullying Release of personal info Violence Spam Other
Webnovel 
The story has an interesting premise that it delivers on pretty well. I've been enjoying Lucius's journey so far, and I'm intrigued to see how the prologue becomes relevant eventually. The writing style, at least for me, took a bit of getting used to but it got much smoother as the story progressed. Story: The plot is building up pretty steadily. Things could be a little clearer, but that's more on the style. The premise is strong and the story hooks me to find out more. Style: I had the most difficulty getting into the story's writing style, which was especially prevalent in the first chapter. It's the kind of writing that makes you pay attention to what's going on, which IMO is a good thing once you get used to it. Most other technical areas are pretty solid, though I would like some more descriptions ot ground me as a visual reader. I need to be able to picture stuff and that's a litle difficult sometimes. I enjoy the pacing ehre a lt though. Nothign overstays their welcome and the story beats along really well. Grammar: Pretty solid. Some minor mistakes that a small proofread should fix. Character: Michael seems like a decent, well-intentioned protagonist caught up in things far beyond him but mkaing the best of what he can. I'm also very intrigued by Lucius and his past. Hoping to see more of his sister too. All of them are children desperate to survive, and act accordingly. Overall: This is a solid start. I'm trusting the premise in the blurb more than the story itself on what direction it's supposed to go. A little more on the fantasy aspects, like the magic and the monsters, would go a long way in making this even better. The conflict looks like it's poised right where it might escalate soon and I'm all for it. Definitely a big recommendation.
Dawn of a Thousand Suns, Book I: Arch De Angels
Fantasy · Akston93