Webnovel Author: Maldon_R - Novel Collection

You have an interesting premise going on, and I think you're handling it very well, your pacing is good and you manage to keep the intrigue while moving the plot. My biggest issue with the story is that it's a little hard to keep track of what's going on, I found myself rereading some paragraphs here and there, but it's not a major issue, I think some extra light editing to make things a little clearer should be enough. I think your dialogue is a little weak, but I wouldn't call it bad, it does the job. You spend a little too long describing how the mc gets from one place to another, but this is just my personal preference.