Webnovel Author: moonmirror - Fanfic Collection

Alright, let's start with the pacing. The pacing is generally well-handled, providing enough details to keep the readers engaged without overwhelming them with excessive information.The interaction between Ian and Alaric is a central focus, highlighting their connection and Alaric's concern for Ian's well-being. I like the sibling relationship between them.However, there are many instances where the prose could be refined to enhance readability and flow. Some parts of the dialogue feel a bit repetitive or overly verbose, which might slow down the pacing.Trimming down the dialogue while retaining the essence of the characters' thoughts and emotions could help maintain a smoother rhythm.Here's some improvements the author could implement: 1. The Claritiy of Descriptions: Some parts of the description, especially during the action scenes, will benefit from a clearer portrayal of the surroundings and character movements. This will help readers visualize the scenes more effectively.2. Balancing the Pacing: The story shifts between intense action and quieter moments. Make sure the transitions between these moments are smooth and the pacing remains balanced to maintain the reader's engagement.3. Show vs Tell: In many instances throughout the novel, the narrator tells the reader about the character's emotions or reactions. In my opinion, it would be better to show these through their actions, thoughts, and dialogues.4. Dialogue Tags: Please avoid overusing phrases like "said", "asked", "mumbled" etc.5. Details: Details are very important, for example, you could include sensory detalis like smell, sounds and textures.Overall, the novel has great potential. The update stability is good, and I hope the author will maintain it. Regarding the writing quality, it's good, however, if the scenes were more detailed I'd give it 5 stars.

Alright, let's start with the pacing. The pacing is generally well-handled, providing enough details to keep the readers engaged without overwhelming them with excessive information.The interaction between Ian and Alaric is a central focus, highlighting their connection and Alaric's concern for Ian's well-being. I like the sibling relationship between them.However, there are many instances where the prose could be refined to enhance readability and flow.Some parts of the dialogue feel a bit repetitive or overly verbose, which might slow down the pacing.Trimming down the dialogue while retaining the essence of the characters' thoughts and emotions could help maintain a smoother rhythm.Here's some improvements the author could implement: 1. The Claritiy of Descriptions: Some parts of the description, especially during the action scenes, will benefit from a clearer portrayal of the surroundings and character movements. This will help readers visualize the scenes more effectively.2. Balancing the Pacing: The story shifts between intense action and quieter moments. Make sure the transitions between these moments are smooth and the pacing remains balanced to maintain the reader's engagement.3. Show vs Tell: In many instances throughout the novel, the narrator tells the reader about the character's emotions or reactions. In my opinion, it would be better to show these through their actions, thoughts, and dialogues.4. Dialogue Tags: Please avoid overusing phrases like "said", "asked", "mumbled" etc.5. Details: Details are very important, for example, you could include sensory detalis like smell, sounds and textures.Overall, this novel has a lot of potential for further development. The update stability is good, and I hope the author will maintain it. Regarding the writing quality, if there would be more details describing the scene, I would give it a 5 star.