Badges 5
Moments 43
Kind of a late reply but Thanks!
ch 0 3 Antagonist of Love (Valentines Special)
To make Poetry
Realistic · Shuma
Here's what each Kanji Character defines as: 水 - Water 星 - Starry 勇 - Brave 気 - Atmosphere (Do note that its Kanji translations can be read in many ways than one)
[Requirements Exceeded. Suisei Yuuki... Validated as a Legion]
Starting a New Life in Another World!
Fantasy · Shuma
Kei's Kanji Character is (敬) This character means "Respect"
The first son of King Weiss. Kei, re-informed me. "Ehhh? A summon? Summon for what again?" He then replied. "Don't 'Ehh' me. It was issued just moments ago." Touching his golden, silky hair, "Ahhh! that's why people call you simple-minded!"
Starting a New Life in Another World!
Fantasy · Shuma
Here's the Kanji Character for this guy: 隆弘 - Literally means noble or vast
[Status : Takahiro]
Starting a New Life in Another World!
Fantasy · Shuma
Rimu's Kanji Characters means these: 璃 - Crystal 夢 - Dream
"Rimu!, that's who you'll be! The "Rimu" corresponding from the Kanji of Ruri, defining a Crystal and Dream — For I awoke from a dream and found this precious Jewel!"
Starting a New Life in Another World!
Fantasy · Shuma
Here's what each corresponding Characters mean: 影 - Shadow 事 - Fact, Case, Etc. 知 - Wisdom 集 - Collect, Gather, Etc. 真 - Truth
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Starting a New Life in Another World!
Fantasy · Shuma
Here's what each corresponding characters mean: 影 - Shadow 事 - Fact, Case, etc. 知 - Wisdom 集 - Collect, Gather, etc. 真 - Truth
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Starting a New Life in Another World!
Fantasy · Shuma
心 読み取る 神経 チップ It's translated as is on the Paragraph
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Starting a New Life in Another World!
Fantasy · Shuma
What I learnt from this Chapter... Kuma-han is a MAID SIMP! *Evil Smug*... Alright, Going back on topic, overall, I'd say this chapter's pretty wholesome. To improve though, I'd recommend learning Grammar Contractions along with Tense shifts. Those are pretty much the whole problem here. The story is fine (Just found 1 plot hole. Probably just an error you made while speedrunning the story lol.) Again, the story is fine. All you need to improve on is the Tenses/Contractions + A few Punctuational errors. Those "*[Insert Expression Here]*" Tags were kinda cute-funny lol. Anyways, keep on improving! Keep on writing! Be Liek Mastah Shumah!
ch 0 1 CHAPTER 1: Wish Come True
ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
Kuma-han is a SIMP
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa LILITH.. Kuma-han It's LILITH!
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
Yup, u gotta revise it... She suddenly got hyper despite starving to death. Unless something made her feel extremely active
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
(She's not even intimidated)
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
Shouldn't she be tired? Since she's starving :BigBrein: Why's she suddenly hyper
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
It should be "Scare the girl". Not Scared the girl. It confuses the readers
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
Not sure if this is a plot-hole but why would the girl want to find some dangerous creatures inside despite starving to death? XD
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
This part should be Past-tensed
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
I forgot to mention but try to avoid doing long paragraphs. It becomes an info-dump otherwise. U can try doing the Tactic "Show, not tell" Basically, you describe everything that happens in the story while making sure that it moves the plot Definition of Terms: Info-Dump is basically huge lumps of information being slapped to the face of the readers.
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
'tis Shuma! Time to give a review! Heh... To start off, let's discuss a few grammatical errors (Punctuations, and Tense shifts) When writing like this, you should stick to using either past tense or present tense as to not confuse the readers. Also, when ending a sentence with a 'Period,' you should always CAPITALIZE the next letters Now let's go into Tense shifts in particular... Starting from this sentence "That's why I **lived** in the tallest volcano..." In that sentence, you switched from Present tense to past tense. Which is kind of unnatural. Honestly, there were lots of Tense shifts but it could be fixed so not a problem One way to fix that is by making use of *"[Insert Dialogue]"* Dialogue Tags to identify when the character is talking Story Summary of Paragraph 1: Veronica is a Celestial Fire Dragon. There are 4 Celestial Dragons in Total (I presume the 4 Elements — Shuma Bigbrain) Celestial Dragons have the ability to grant any wishes... Veronica, which is a Celestial Dragon, granted various wishes for hundreds of years that she got bored... She wanted to live normally.... Until something changed in her life :D
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ABSOLUTE ZERO
Fantasy · Project_Yuna
Glad to hear that <3
ch 0 1 Melancholia
Melancholia...
Horror · Shuma