Webnovel Author: Sniperwoof - Fanfic Collection

To be honest, I wasn't aware of it until recently, but that version was abandoned and there were some potholes that it didn't change and kept the same from the original version, which I obviously wish to ammend.

Maybe it has something to do with the S Cells as well? Goku wasn't a Super Saiyan when Gohan was born, but he had achieved SSJ and had plenty of S Cells when Goten was conceived.

No, since he is a Saiyan Hybrid. Both he and Trunks were born without a tail.

Do this. After you've finished writing, open your note app and copy/paste the chapter you've written there. Then, select the Grammarly keyboard and you'll find that it's giving you suggestions for things you need to change. Just click on that and let it change the words according to it's suggestions and see if that feels better than the original. That help a lot. And if all of that also doesn't help with the grammar, just use AI to correct the chapter grammatically. Also, these kind of novels should be written in 3rd person PoV not the First person. Explaining your actions while doing or performing an act feels a bit weird to read. Doing these will definite improve the overall novel quality. Thanks.

Use a grammar app. It'll help with the reading quality. There are no structure in the sentences or paragraphs, besides the other grammatical mistakes. Using something like Grammarly will help a lot. It's free.

This is lazy writing. What do you mean by Gust, Whirlwind, etc? You can atleast state the Pokemon moves can't you?

Bro, ypu don't use any 'comma' or any other stuff. You just keep the paragraph going and it feels really weird to read. How is it different from MTL?

Are you sure you rewrote this? This still feels like MTL to me. The grammer is really bad.

Good. Add some of his teammates reactions and comments too instead of just stating that he knew what they said. It'll make it better. I had one more suggestion, but it's up to you to decide as you're the one writing the story. I just feel like the story will fell better in 3rd person perspective instead of the 1st Person.

More basketball would be good. Even if it's not like the playoffs, at least more than what is currently shown. A bit of perspectives/commentary/reaction is fine, but a little more game would be really good.

I just have one suggestion to improve the story. I've noticed that recently, the fillers are increasing more and more while the actual game is over within a few paragraphs and Pov's. You're not showing the game anymore. Just saying what happened during the game. This doesn't help with the visualization and decrease the reading quality of an otherwise good novel.

Just a small constructive Criticism. Stop making it so dramatic all the time. You use words like determination, unyielding, and the like too much. It doesn't feel natural. Otherwise, you're doing good.