Honestly, a really good start to the novel. The author has created a lived in world that displays excellent world building. The author is also excellent at writing descriptions as I can picture the scenes happening in my mind. This will be a wonderful novel.
This book has been deleted.
It should be "who believes in shamanism and stuff?" That's what I was talking about :)
Emily slowly whispered in my ear. "Is this old man tripping or something? Who believes in shaman and stuff?"
Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
Kept me reading to see what was going to happen and when the grandma was going to show up, bravo!
ch 0 4 Unexpected Meeting (1)
Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
This chapter has some relatable moments, it feels like real reactions people would have
ch 0 3 The Raven Bird
Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
Though it has a few errors, this chapter gives an excellent view into the differences between the two sisters.
ch 0 2 Shaman Of The West Village
Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
I added a few paragraph comments. If I come across anything more, I'll comment :)
ch 0 2 The Weight of Stars
Fantasy · Slow_Neptune
Maybe it's just the bond between the two of them, but he seems to accept what the old man is saying awfully quickly and very quickly begins questioning the priests.
He took in another breath as if to start ranting again but didn't. He looked down and then stared at Hirow quietly waiting for a response. Hirow didn't know what to say. Some of it made sense but there were still plenty of gaps that made the old man seem insane. He knew the priests had lied at times but he had been the one to come to this conclusion. Light wasn't evil. Light wasn't evil. Light was good. Light was... Unless he had fallen to the trickery of the priests, they were very deceptive. The whole of the village had been tricked by them, why not him? He knew light held some power, and power could always corrupt, but what would this power corrupt other than the light itself? Light wasn't a being so it couldn't be corruptible. He trusted Haddrung. He wanted to trust Haddrung but he needed to ask one more question.
Fantasy · Slow_Neptune
I would maybe break up this paragraph. It jumps a bit from the orb, to his parents, and to the stars. It kinda threw me off as I read it.
Scanning the floor checking if any liquid was left he frowned at the dark sight. I guess that's it, the memory of my parents is gone, he thought. Grabbing his cloak and a notebook he flung the door open and stepped out into the night. Clutching the cloth tightly he walked through the barren street. The sky glittered with a sea of stars gracing his lonesome presence. Hirow paused and looked up with longing green eyes reflecting the vast hope he saw above. To be so bold as to hold a star himself he reached up knowing they would never come to him.
Fantasy · Slow_Neptune
I hate writing them, but I gotta end somewhere, Sorry!
ch 18 Arise, My Liege
Fantasy · xJavierMex
That's a good suggestion! I have been toying with idea, so he might develop it later on in the story. Thank you for reading!
ch 11 Bandits On The Road
Fantasy · xJavierMex
Shameless author review!This is the first novel that i have written so it may be a little amateurish. This novel will follow Alexis' journey from being a no name noble to someone who will hopefully sit upon the Empire's throne. I hope you enjoy it!
Shadow Fall
Fantasy · xJavierMex