Webnovel Author: Majer3 - Novel Collection

DAAAARKKKK KK AHAAAHAHAHAHAA !!! Darkness arises!

Thanks, plotting will be very integral part of this story.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ -According to the synopsis it will be a spicy ride into comedy love story with BLU ROYAL CHEESE my friends the cheesiest cheese there is. -Hold up there is BL tag underneath, the drama just doubled, will the woman MC ever get it right or will someone else take the CEO and his money. We will find out in another episode just like in The Bold and the Beautiful what our grannies love to watch, and they hit you if you go in between television on their worship hour. So, if someone things romance comedy office social porn parody thing is a joke no, it’s not fun. Pretty far away from the fun. Its like 1.7 billion grandmothers on you if you do it wrong. -I klick the read and I can smell the cheese already/5 -Oh NO! The breakup day! That is da worse okay! You have to have at least 4 to 10 hours facial scrub mask and cucumbers on your eyes while you wollow one day in agonizing self-pity like martini without olive and on the next day in the first half an hour of the day you download tinder again and get to work while forgetting your piece of work ex completely, although crying about it in therapy for 4 years. Thats cheese with ravioli on top. -A woman who can’t clean her stuff/5. This princess is going to suffer I just know. Will we see the hit the wall period and regrets of not educating herself properly and other stuff. Oi joi joi. But reader do not worry, maybe the INHERITANCE can help year or two. (Hey your review is shit there is no inheritance* I thought to myself. But inheritance is like pinnacle of arbitrary cheesy social dick waving among the depsides relatives. Will we see this drama eventually in face slap style?) -I don't know is it a genre thing but why these dramas are written in 70-90% dialogue form? World building is therefore depended on it and its very narrow and if the activity is not very unique it really doesn't help the reader to stay focused. -Table of content is like manual if you hear it from the lips of your love you know it’s time to leave one day. Horror experience 5/5 victim game play, guilt trip, disappointment, such a indirect qualities. Luckily there are far more better women existing trustable, relatable, awkward and cute, odd habits but so kind heart you almost cry when they happily do some basic stuff somewhere around the house and the knot around the cynical heart gets a bit lose. Love women but sell the princesses to Poland to get Galleys.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Fate. (Fuck I hate that world really it always drops the agency and real choice, and things are thought in deterministic ideologies/religions/bs philosophies. Fate is the step uncle of laziness. Oh yea the story -Okay I get the point in synopsis but now synopsis doesn't really tell anything but cliche determination plot thing, albeit in kind of critical manner but still. The point of the synopsis is either info dump enough to advertise the whole world building, or invest reader to specific main character/s or offer some unique or very specific scenario that might interest people as a advertisement. It really has to motivate people to open your novel. Because of this reason I recommend re-writing it based on your world and actual setting. -Antihero genius, I hope this is done by not making everyone else stupid. -When you steal 95 imperial coins?? So what’s the value of it, could MC say that this won’t even buy me 1 week of food or something comparable. This is always very important when any number of coins or currencies are first introduced. -Damn the story flow is pretty decent, only thing I would want more is decent info dumping at some point but its good going. -Dialogue is practical, could write more feelings meta on it to flourish the characters acts. -Status window all details again, Ok good no status window spamming, this is probl most balanced use of it what I have seen for a long time. -If you use missions/quest keep them open enough not to create tunnel vision for all the activities of MC. More of advice at this point.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Ahhh proper morning tea in imperial style. What?? Tribes sects political boogaloo. Let see. -Light novel starts with the word mom/5. -In a strange world of battles and magical myth things and gods the world building starts with the parent and child discussion about the world. Is it the definition of the development or how MC will develop remains to be seen. Also talking with the children about THE LORD OF DARKNESS!!! 5/5 early pedagogics. -Best practice pedagogics continue in form of a ill thought suicide 5/5. Could of maybe written more reasons why any woman would be that stupid to kill herself because of some random scumbag ex. It really ads to the bad parenting genre and MC will grow mest up. -After this the world building becomes very thin and dialogue rules the writing almost entirely. -Dialogue technique could be better, there is mentions of opening door or some other things in passive form in brackets, you could check how these things are written in almost any fantasy book. -[phone disconnected] vrs "Mc Mac Mc looked at his phone from last century that his stupid parents that died had got him from the flea market. In irritation he saw that the phone was disconnected again, and he could not call to helpdesk because the phone was useless. Mc Mac Mc decided to stay inside whole day and eat ice cream instead. * Fuck it * Mc thought. (Albeit my example is some stupid shit I wrote while being tired at morning , the point is that you can drop all meta data of personal feelings and thoughts what people are having when something happens and not just passively use bracketed actions. Those are only used in mangas when they want to cover some space with text so there is less things to draw.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Uu spooky stuff cemetery start. -After the first profound paragraph late-teens appear with their getting to college problems/5 target audience? -Alcohol first always/5 -Why I have the feeling this has been written with scenario writing of spooky LA movies.. -Prologue or some info on where things are happening would be nice. Also world building would need considerably more. -Very dialogue driven, some like it somebody not.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Okay I picked the one without children in synopsis I feel its the right choice now what Im still waking up. Ugh children.. -Deathly Alpha super gene immortality guy -He had forbidden love for himself/5 eeee what does it mean xDDD going ee solo?? -A woman who wants to kill immortal man. Is it impossible considering what was written just several rows before. Welll maybe she doesn't just know the details and she is just enjoying seeing people die. I don't judge. -World building explodes from the dark room. -No joke, this is really nice build up and information flow. -Dialogue is exceedingly well placed + feelings coming from it. -Okay now the quality of the story is basically up to the balance of the world and what medium and long arcs there will be. Also motives play part in this and side characters have to have some possibility than just being named plank tokens instead of a person. If all of this checks and this thing runs for several hundred chapters there might be veeeery good results.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Okay, The Last Werewolf dam dam daaaa da. Dam dam dam daaa da. Why I have this classical piece in my head now. -O damn I should of picked the other novel its teen tagged/5 -Synopsis, family tries to think the best of problematic children and they act up and try go call police even parenting success 0/5. -Could use prologue for world info dump purposes. -Action action action, who is this jack guy now/5 where are we now where we left the woman? -When the painfully lame teen experiences and problems meet the overly tedious parents 1/5 xD -That being said the dialogue, feelings and this genre basics are good. Just world building would need a lot and scenarios, where everything happens and its difficult because in between the dialogue people have to watch something and see something. Jack opened the door to apologise parents for what he had done. But he was met with the gazes of two frightened parents with sex toys on the blank floor and another was dressed as pumpkin and other as a carrot, you can guess who is who. The leather harness and mouth balls were too much for Jack and he hesitantly and slowly close the sturdy oak door to clean his eyes from the travesty. Jack went to his room and cried and contemplated cutting himself with spoon. That’s drama xD

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Oh we are continuing with the topic of love but this time the love is also pure from the first sight even only to be contract marriage. But as in our last story the "contract" was reinforced eeee guite strongly. Lets see how this one works. -This half mask fellow on the covers feels familiar to me, have I seen him somewhere.. hmm.. -If the skin is dull, how its complexion is.. beautifull?? Words support or negate the argument of beauty. -infodupmp flash backs! Im impressed. Its always crusial to do infodump as a story within the story/or valid relatable contemplation. -Ma Jun the emotional mama's boy awww. -ah good ol tried and true slavery is back hurray! -questionmark leading headlines alot OH THUGLIFE okay lets go there. You dont choose thuglife, the thuglife chooses you. Yeaaa boii get in the gaaang maaan try it once sweet easy money gogogogo. -Ugly and cool oh boy its going to be difficult in the gang after all.. -HAHAHA gets beaten by a woman and 7 year old child so comical gang life x,D -Otherwise, dialogue/explanation balance is ok, just what Im finding difficult is to track the reasonings or main motives of the each individuals.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Nice human trafficking and dark during the morning tea. Everything is fantastic. Now I will go see continuation will it appeal in bad light to go woke go broke.inc &entity or will it display the actual true ugliness of the human trafficking in its glorious post-imperial manners. Realism after all is the key to the wisdom. -Com oon guys, slicing? Are you some nannies in the kindergarten. Here is what you are going to do, first you take 30 hungry rats and you put the traitor hanging with the rope on top of bucket just that he can stand on it. Then you let the rats have their meal. When the guy drops you waterboard him, after you give him sock treatment and then its hammer time. And just when they are about dead you threaten them with their family, relatives, fucking pet gerbil if you have to for information acquisition. After, disposing of the body is very nice to do with the pigs. One hungry pig will consume several kilos per minute with the bones so your task of disposing human corpse is guide fast indeed. Alternatively use chemical methods. Slicing aijaijai xD -Mafia boss with control of Europe but doesn't know how to effectively interrogate people/5. There is too many functional things that keep getting me distracted to think that the boss is just a some local thug and don't have proper skills and manners to be able to conduct multicounty wide organization with countless number of adversaries, Interpol, Eu police agreements, and so on. Ok ok its a novel but the guy who even technically could do that would have to be a lot more smarter and a whole a lot more cruel to be realistic. -back to the story after ranting xD -Environments could be nice to describe in the midst of dialogue flow. -And now you are saying that they are not keeping their damn humans/products in perfect condition for trading? Bad teeth would be the worst for anyone unless they plan to take all the teeth away. Ok ok I don't judge maybe they are doing special delivery. We will see. -Love is the strangest animal. You have a super genius mafia boss who despite his incompetence somehow can have hold on whole entirety of Europe but he still falls in love with a prepped wallflower who seem to be innocent, after ahem* 2 years of being victim of psychological torture and falls in love with her. Now thats like grand strategy of love novel, you have to make perfect tactics to conquer that heart and be truly in love hormone mixtures to be able to want a broken human without any prospects whilst being super genius criminal mastermind. Thats true love, better than Twilight.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Okay hell yea sci fi for a change. Lets see.. Dark oh wonderful, romance eh?? Well maybe there is light after dark or so they claim. Nooot entirely sure about the super duper hero power stuff I really don’t want to see any failed Marvel money graph normal people superhero stuff ever again x,D but advanced technology is always nice. -Parents Strongly Cautioned makes me think maybe I should only review these/5 -Apocalypse, okay I hope it would have that existential thread of emotion that Fallout intros have about the condition of humanity. -Grammar mistakes/ if you are not native or even if you are use Grammarly premium google for cheaper code tho it drops the price from 144 to 115 dollars. Its only for the year tho, but if you write a lot and would need editing otherwise its for a year pretty decent deal and comes up with a lot of stuff that permit even me to pass text to public without too much of worry. -Hey have to give a author credit for honest contemplation of his gaming selection its nice to have these kind of reflections. People tend to use auxiliar chapters way too little. -After nice infodump prelude several chapters are almost purely dialogue with action packed stuff. Could it hurt the actions too much to write in between the changes of scenery, feelings, contemplations and such. When we think any complex solutions there has to be contemplation. Even genius has to weight their odds now and then. -Also the agency and feeling of what goals are a bit blurred by the lack of contemplation and thinking with dialogue heavy writing. But yea this is still relatively easy way to raise the level of writing from action scenario writing to action sci-fi writing.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Ah the young non-insta löööv by LingYueYan in form of Contemporary Romance lets see. -Dialogue functional -Car brand details important/5 xDD But does it has a nice spinner car dusters tho.. -Not only this thing has drama but it has the juicy family chat group drama D: I didn't even know this thing could exist! -äääääääää family life/5 (not my thing too fussy) xD But probl normal person would think its wholesome af -The arguing is just the kind of thing that causes nausea and panic reaction to find smarter people. -Why can I relate to evilMC but not so much to airhead MC. Corruption?? -Overall okay work, Not the genre I would go for but there was not a big deal wrong with it either. Maybe medium and high arcs for plot could be displayed with more agency to get some drive going.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Olrait, decadent suggar dady opinions coming through as requested xDD Back to the mega serious SCARY professional business of art director review. Synopsis: Dayymm drama starts at the synopsis already/5 Copyright: act from 1988/5, I suggest to use copyright classifications instead either some copyright classification or one of the creative commons https://creativecommons.org/ by this choice you can pretty much dictate everything of the use and tell it only by a single line of text in form of classification. Example “Furggelen afterglow” by Lukas Schlagenhauf is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0. drama: sleazy bag that gropes/5, maybe they marry in chapter 2. Never give up hope but when it goes wrong its just nope. Legal issue drama 1/5 its common sense to battle for a good reason against stupid law breaking scumbaggery people who abuse their landlord powers. There has to be evident real reason. Just making a lawyer call them is typically the best. They can tell in perfect way how idiotic it would be according to law :) Style of writing is the kind of hectic phased dialogue driven not a lot love for world building kind of thing. The slower the story goes more possibilities there are for this. I personally love 2-3 pages of info dumps to the autistic perfection. mmmmm tasty. :D Otherwise, this reminds me of English soap opera dialogue+ scenery plan writing. Not what I typically read but these things have immense audience also so what do I know. To give benefit of the doubt at least there is more flesh lust and action going on than in your normal merry sue run of the mill milk and cookies at 2 pm kind of lullaby laziness endless TV series with laughing track on it.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Synopsis, very poetic but didn't get sleep last night (migraine) so it makes it almost unreadable, nice broad use of words though. Theme is interesting and the setting. It reminds me of story of Napoleonic wars with dragons. Military equipment realism is always good. Same goes with all manner of things. For all fantasy writers even the weight of cold coins should be measured to some extend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PmXf9oiNqU Lesson of the day, what ever you write as a writer, study the subject at least the main topics of it. Your writing style remind me of First Law Trilogy, at least glance through it you might be surprised its like even darker and cynical version of what you have written. Balanced dialogue, maybe world setting could be expressed more clearly. Some info dumping could be handled more vigorously. But as proper tone, there are no dignities in war. Only purposely glorification, brutalization, interpretations, fact mutilation, narrative wars and maybe one day a book or two written with more clarity but still generalization by a historian. War never changes. You write also nicely the moral personal hazard of the war and violence that is nice. Deepens the tragedy ay. scroll scroll scroll, where is the economy* o nice grand gestures and proper etiquette. Nice beginning, still story is for good reason slow burn, but it has good thing going. Maybe Ill try remember it and look it up from youtube with robot voice telling it to me in a very human way later. Have to read a lot every day so it is what it is. Modern miracles.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Environmental and dresses described well, place descriptions are like from travel catalogue and dialogue is balanced. What I would of wished more would be some details on the issues of the kingdom because there has to be bigger issues than single vampire case even if it kills people the king would barely hear about it. Some of these balances and the lack of economy / diplomacy/ commands/ any official proceedings/ court meetings lessen the realism of the king and his family members. Now of course there are different genres but I'm reviewing this from the standpoint of royalties and aristocrats. Why that standpoint??!!11? Capital Capital.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Wondering what wooden thrown will develop into? Olrait straight to business since there is two chapters atm. Maybe slow it a bit. Dialogue is ok, setting is ok but everything feels a bit rushed without explanations. There are some explanations but it could be fuller. Then things like coin value info dropping can be made in contemplation by someone or in form of discussion. (not in between everything else). Its good to integrate everything and do 1 or maximum 2 things at a time. It helps the reader. Story is promising but I hope you plan a lot medium and long archs and write down how the system will work, make it not automatic solution engine but more of an alternative choice /odd choice and then MC has to decide what to do instead of being lead by the system. Starting a country from nothing would take a lot of time despite systems or it will feel very rushed. You got good things here but hopefully the balance will be there. It might be good to develop and "try out" things with the system first before even making anything noticeable for empire to steal everything.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Okay, its very well written and balanced start. Almost every aspect is well placed and your technique of info dump/dialogue/inner voice/moving from scenario to another is really nice. Now the continuation is more of question of style. Do you develop full long arcs or will the delivery be episodical in nature. For cultivation story particularly some aspects can easily break some of the logic completely like over the border spatial rings and abilities. Basically if they exist even with elites it means that the whole structure of logistics would be totally different in war and so on. This is just an example. The Qi reset is a new angle to cultivation story but can one oddity determine the originality of the story. I would say try avoid all manner of systematic clichés of cultivation stories like loaning too much used plotlines or just repeating the story on and on in different places. MC is not a quest slave. He could use his brains also. It all depends how you want to lay out this story.