Come to the campfire, I will tell you one little story.
2022-04-19 Joined Global
Thanks, plotting will be very integral part of this story.
This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Okay now we get to continue with the mafia ;D please check the earlier review where pigs get human flesh and the choices of torture methods are discussed and analysed. -Now I figured its a comedy. Damn no proper torture needed/5 -Stakes are high KING of THE MAFIA WORLD!! lets see the unique skills of this criminal mastermind! -"For some reason the cold blooded and ruthless man suddenly changes personality whenever Fenhua is around mad becomes the endless pamperer and cute stay at home boyfriend." oh no, nooo dont take the cruel awayyy always these women somehow doing that/5. -World building, hey let’s throw a random number and call it sector/5. -Dialogue relates the feelings of the character, that’s good thing for this genre. Particularly important -Very dialogue driven, as usual I would like to see some contemplation and environments, but also some knowledge of motives. -ah the princess. This reminds me of principle women are children and men are monkeys. I view this principle and equivalency to the reality as a de facto in all occasions. -Well yea inside of the gossip feel based comedy its okay writing, not the one I would read but it is at least intermediate level within that genre.
This book has been deleted.
This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ In the synopsis there is a 3 choices about 1. Dungeon Master 2. Dungeon Conqueror 3. Dungeon Explorer It really leaves nice feeling of options, however in many cases in these stories MC just picks something without justifying the choice at all or they just pick at random while being OP master geniuses and it could of been done in any other way. Keep the choices real and the story is more complex and relatable at the same time that is typically hard to do. I like the use of written tag genres, helps a bit with the system not having all of then in Wn. I think Im going to steal this idea thanks. Game system related novel things, if nothing much changes it would be better not to spam the MC status window all copy paste details every time MC looks at the status. I know status is important feature of these kind of stories but it is same time one of the biggest fillers that reader sees through if it doesn't have substantial change that would actually lead to some contemplation or new discovery. And above all when I listen to some robot audio book light novel on my soffa.. THE LAST thing is what I want to hear is same status stats 9999 times. It makes it impossible to listen to. Now there are many opinions about these things, some dont like that some people make robot audios of their novels and some even ask for it. Im not locking my stories out because it would receive less readers and If I write hundreds and thousands chapters then probl readers are more willing to help with the donations while being fair and giving free thousand of chapters for someone who likes them. It doesn't always convert into money but keeping the novel open is definitely rising the amount of readers tremendously. You can always make books later and publish them in old fashion way if money is so important. (Ok end of rant and back to the story :D) Damn 1 chapter ends and another begins with same copy paste status without main person even opening it or something. Otherwise dialogue mostly with system for understandable reason is ok. Writing flow is ok, could explain world or surroundings more or contemplate it more since MC is in new environment. Nice lust going on chapter 14. Oh the harem update needs the whole status window to be written again damn I should of known. My arc enemy the useless status window. Okay and there is missions. So I have said about the missions somewhere probl but I tell it again because this is clearly more game motivated system. If you keep forcing quest without any choices to MC it will create this loop tunnel vision where character is predetermined going about in the world and just brainlessly doing the quests and ofc achieving them somehow always because otherwise story would end or stall so badly that nobody would want to read it. The "NEW OPTION" would be to give MC choice based quests or pool of quests where he can make what he deems better for him. Not this hey go to another side of the world MC kill rats from the cellar of my aunt and then come back to receive 10 gold coins oh the travelling cost 50.000 gold coins not my problem prompted the system (Parody allert*) STATUS WINDOW MC name: Generic MC name MC Class: MC sword idiot MC 999999999 STR 0 INT 20 VIT 800 fucks given Harem members: Furious and trying to kill MC because of jealousy Skills Appreciate beauty: opens the drooling function Lands owned None Titles hold The most MC ever MC MC Relations to the king MC Boosted bs with unrealistic stuff Status Status window bonus Status on MC: fuck im tired of the MC dont talk to me MC, just do the damn quest slave MC as I order it hahehahuho Im a system. Bliib bloob (Just comedic ending gathered all the frustration of the systems stories. I really like a good systems story but there is so much something else entirely). Hope the tips were helpful
This book has been deleted.
As you wished. I command to thee elements to give motivation to the author! Synthetic rune symbols starts to glow and weird substances goes into the head of the author*
ch 38 Unknown Fate
The way of the villain
Fantasy · Choka