JustDamian21232 - Profile

JustDamian21232

JustDamian21232

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I review, thats it that all... gimme a book to read

2022-05-21 Joined Global

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JustDamian21232
Posted

FINAL REVIEW (the one from last time) Gonna leave a review every few chapters i go in (ik its weird but thats how i do things deal with that and who knows it might draw ppl cuz its good at the beginning and not some author growing with work bs) so from the first ten the descriptions are on point! you put so much passion into your work and story line as well i fan tell just from reading, the way you add color to your words is stunning, dialouge can be stiff sometimes but nothing unreadable or cringe.I can see zeus being a great character one of my favs so far that comes in clutch at some point reminds me of one of sung jin woo's shadows in solo leveling.the way you describe a speedsters at the beginning was also well done! not just their personality is fast cuz they're obsessed with speed but its a thing they cant help and have to work around.the slow decent of the mc was very well described though the caps are not really necessary? i get that its a stylistic choice but at least use an exclamation mark lol with the periods it looks weird. now for the best part.THANK YOU! for not letting the system just appear right away or out of no where without even a hint as to where it came from! that was a breath of fresh air! You have no idea! the part with the colors flashing before his eyes as he entered that new plain to meet zeus was perfectly excuted not jumbled up or anything i love it absolutely 馃槱 cheifs kiss and THANK YOU! for not allowing the mc to be cracked right off the bat after getting this system and he has to learn it and grow with it its not funny how excited i was over something SO SMALL.I can just tell this is gonna be a really well executed story with great plot and world building with so much more to bring into the fray with so many new and interesting characters, one thing to note is some grammatical errors, not a lot but a few, periods where exclaimations should be vice versa.Along with the signs being out of the lines but other than that it is all good im sure you fix that over time and ill just let you cook! keep it up author! this book is gonna be number one i can feel it!! (NOW!) now, after seeing what webnovel had to offer and after watching the growth of our protagonist over the course of 30+ chapters, i've got to say this is one of the best if not the best on going systems to date, starts off with a rocky start both Mc and writing wise only for the writing style and the author to grow with the mc. An enchanting feeling that will leaving you needing more no matter what, the foreshadowing of events, the actual struggles of the mc, the powers of the system, the sidecharacters, the well written women, the representation all respectful and well done, wrapped in a narrative all can enjoy, a story promised to never die, a story that keeps on giving no matter what, all the author ask is your time and attention and he will deliver the good stuff you expected and wanted from a system. The promise of different world, different races, different ideals, the idea of hunters(bounty hunters cant remember) their society, the antagonist, the protagonist, all feel three-dimensional and real, the power of the system having a backstory the thought of the mc's father leaving something behind for his son. More than the talent for making stuff, more than his crippling smoking addiction, it's something that caused the story to move forward, something that will keep the story moving. The story have so much promise, and from what I saw, and the sneak peak of what the privileged section have to offer i'd say it knows what you want and gives you what you want, and I highly recommend it! This novel shall surely be a staple some day, so come read it while it's fresh, while it's new, so you can be the one that say you've been here since the beginning! 5/5!

JustDamian21232
JustDamian21232
JustDamian21232
Commented

needs a smoother change here owl i was lost for a sec lol

"Come on, give him a chance". A fiery passion boils its way into his voice

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

seperate this pls xD

This paragraph has been deleted.
Ascendant: Struggle

Ascendant: Struggle

Fantasy 路 Haizao

JustDamian21232
Commented

img

"I'm not judging your men, ah, people... or you, Captain."

Ascendant: Struggle

Ascendant: Struggle

Fantasy 路 Haizao

JustDamian21232
Commented

sus

"Sorry, traitor, I have no idea who she is. So why don't you calm down and lay down your arms? We won't kill you if you surrender..." Zai's eyes were drawn to a slight movement in the corner of the vehicle. The barrel of a gun poked past the edge of the canvas, its wielder trying to line up a shot.

Ascendant: Struggle

Ascendant: Struggle

Fantasy 路 Haizao

JustDamian21232
Replied to SayofChains88

what they said

"This whole place is mine" Blake says with clear hesitation at the idea and responsibility.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

needs a comma here if he shouting louder less awkward that way imo

"How could he, How could HE DO THIS"! The voice box starts to break apart as the unfiltered anger seeps its way into his artificial ego.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

img

"I'm 18 now if that helps". The odd sense of calm dominates his mind again, refusing fear to creep in even in the presence of this unknown.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

I need me a zeus!!!

"You little trickster" Both of them start pouring in their energy. Sure enough in response the worn down Elevator starts to come to the top. The magnetic rails finally have enough power to bring it up from the abyssal hole near the facility.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

zeeuuuuusss!!!!!!!!

img

Thunder crackles in the air as Zeus shoots forth from Blake's energy. Violently coursing into the hunters chest. Sparks and electricity begin to surge throughout. Overwhelming burns start to form internally and externally on him. Puss leaking out of every orifice. While sparks danced in the whites of his eyes.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

great now i cant unhear this villain being kratos

img

"IT'S OVER BOY"! His grin turns psychotic as his dagger starts to scream through the air. In the center of Blake's vision his end approaches yet again.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

img

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"! The foe before Blake is slowly toasted. Crisping and charring his face, flakes of skin break off as familiar splits surface on the foe's skin leaking plasma.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

bro knows what he wants

"First stop, Smokes" Getting his priorities straight, he starts to shoot off throughout the silent night humming following him throughout.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

wholesome

Sparking it without hesitation. He is grateful once again, exhaling the dry smoke. His father is always seemingly guiding him even if he's not there.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

hehehe "shock"

"He was struck by that, how is even alive". Her mother's bewilderment and shock dominate the room.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

ayyyeee zeus is back

"It was all real". Blakes mind now accepts its new reality upon seeing Zeus. His creation burned into Blakes very core. He could never forget him now. Looking over at his newfound tiny brother. "Looks like you've kept the same form from before, I'm glad you weren't just a dream". A smile is seen, as he gives Zeus a noogie.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
Commented

what in the elden ring?

img

"WHILE I DRAW BREATH I WONT ALLOW THEM TO HURT YOU!" The finality of his statement breaks Blake apart.

Gene System

Gene System

Sci-fi 路 NocturnOwl

JustDamian21232
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