- 0 d Continuous Writing
- 24.5 h of Reading
- 148 Read books
Ironskipper
male LV 3I am currently writing the novel, "The Extra's War."
2022-06-26 Joined IndiaBadges 6
Moments 110
馃憤
The idea ate at my mind as I continued forward. I had no choice but to move. Leon couldn't die... His death would mean that the likelihood of me getting exposed as a 'fraud' was almost guaranteed.聽
Advent of the Three Calamities
Fantasy 路 Entrail_JI
Author, just a small suggestion, take this with a grain of salt, but I think Julien's reason here is a bit weak, as he is potentially sacrificing himself to save Leon to not look like a fraud, which seems a bit far-fetched.
The idea ate at my mind as I continued forward. I had no choice but to move. Leon couldn't die... His death would mean that the likelihood of me getting exposed as a 'fraud' was almost guaranteed.聽
Advent of the Three Calamities
Fantasy 路 Entrail_JI
I think you meant, 'reliving the moment.'
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Advent of the Three Calamities
Fantasy 路 Entrail_JI
馃憤, keep up the good work.
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Advent of the Three Calamities
Fantasy 路 Entrail_JI
Author, beware of modern slang in an old-fashioned fantasy, for example, the word, 'Ya'll,' doesn't seem to fit the context.
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Advent of the Three Calamities
Fantasy 路 Entrail_JI
Vane's eyes during metamorphosis.
ch 0 3 Resilient Retreat (2)
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
Granar approaches Vane.
ch 0 3 Resilient Retreat (2)
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
The tree trunk is wider
ch 0 2 Resilient Retreat (1)
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
3, imagine it being reinforced with wooden planks and rusting sheet metal
I saw a dark aggregate at the terminal鈥攖he door.
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
2
Every step forced me to think again, my steps weighed down.
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
1
The tunnel, layered with cobwebs and insects, emitted a putrid stench.
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
6
So he embraced it and collided with the terminal, permeating through the bright white glow.
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
5
One of the cracks was now widened by the entity; with his inky black arms, tearing open the holes in space, despite their resistance.
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
4
The outline of the cracks was covered in a dense gradient of purple, blue, green, and red, and twinkling arose from beyond them.
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper
Thank you very much for the comment, I'll make sure to upload it regularly!
The Extra's War
Fantasy 路 Ironskipper