A fantasy novel writer Instagram @papi.novel.michelle
2023-06-28 Joined Indonesia
The tone of the text is too casual and informal for a story. You could use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary and grammar to make it more interesting and professional. For example, you could use synonyms, adverbs, adjectives, or figurative language to enhance your descriptions. You could also use different sentence structures, such as compound sentences, complex sentences, or questions to vary your rhythm and flow. For example, you could write “Angel was baffled by the message on her screen. A virginity party? What kind of bizarre invitation was that? She wondered who had sent it and what they expected from her. She felt a mixture of curiosity and annoyance as she replied to Di, who was apparently in on the joke.”
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Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
Thank you so much for your support 🙏📚❤️
I would suggest you consider breaking up the text into smaller paragraphs for easier reading. Additionally, you may want to consider adding more descriptive language to help paint a clearer picture for the reader. For example, you could describe the appearance of the stars, the colors of the civilizations, and the emotions of the characters. Here is a possible rewrite of the passage with these suggestions: In the myths of many ever expanding universes, the boundless void becomes the vast sky. Only the stars call the silent universe, warmth we all live beneath. They twinkle like diamonds in the endless night, each one a beacon of hope and wonder. Hope and darkness we all call the planets civilization. Amidst this unexplained emptiness, different colors to all civilizations, despite their despairing frame. Some are bright and vibrant, others are dull and faded. Each one reflects the mood and culture of its inhabitants.
In A Fantasy World: Pioneer Of Mana In The Apocalypse
Fantasy · ScriptGamer