Avid reader, loves all kinds of books whether they are physical ones with sweet and warm smelling pages or online web novels. Writing is my hobby, and a passion that I am now catching up to.
2023-07-24 Joined Global
I started reading it from the middle, so here are some of my impressions. first, I liked it a lot better than if I had started reading from the beginning. the reason being the specific kind of writing style (very much like the Japanese style light-novels, which I usually don't like). there are no descriptions of surroundings, mostly the story relies on conversation and actions of the protagonist and his team. But even the style (with name of speakers coming after the dialogue) started to become irrelevant and not as much distracting. when i reached the end, it became obvious why this style would go so well with this writing style. second, the characters and their interactions were very catchy. they have very well written character depth, you could easily find their quirks.third, I would like more descriptions of the world please! Descriptions specifically about surroundings and buildings and such like so that it becomes more easy for imagination. And that's it. I didn't imagine I would get so invested. But this very old-japanese style adventure story really has some perks and will continue to chase later on. Best of luck writing.
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Will do in next editing😅
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Fantasy · Cloudee77
thanks for the feedback.☺️
Glad you liked them.
You can try spacing the two dialogues between different speakers. it will look more clearer and legible.☺️
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Fantasy · useduolingo
Overall, a very honest attempt. Very interesting world background, you can surely build up upon that. I would like to say that, it could be way better if you paced the story in such a way that we, as readers could glimpse the world and the characters intention on our own. The various informations in the beginning could be edited, grammar needs some work. Overall, interesting concept.
The Seven Hells
Eastern · Rugged_King