hilarious things to say to a guy

Having crossed into the Immortal Cultivation World and finding himself at the very bottom, struggling to survive, Xu Yang discovered he possessed a special golden finger. As long as he persisted in any single activity, he could gain the power to transform the decayed into the miraculous. Eating: Stabilize the Foundation and Cultivate Essence, strengthen the body, extend lifespan… Sleeping: Nourish and accumulate energy, be as vigorous as a dragon or a tiger, Eternal Youth… Breathing: Turtle breathing technique, a tide of vitality, Qi Moves Mountains and Rivers… Walking: Travel a thousand miles in a day, shrink the land beneath you, rival mountains in your speed… No matter if it was the common myriad activities or the Hundred Arts of Cultivation, as long as one was persistent, they could reach the pinnacle of refinement. With this, Xu Yang evolved from a humble fisherman into the strongest ever known, revered as the Ten Mile Sword God!

Reborn into the body of a poor young boy in an unknown village in another world, Lu Qing felt quite helpless. Fortunately, he awakened an ability to see through the information of objects, which gave him a bit of capital to survive. He looked at a weed by the road. [Cow bone grass, average quality, medicinal, highly effective in treating bone injuries.] He looked at a red carp in the river. [Red moon carp, excellent quality, delicious meat, a top-grade nourishing food.] He looked at a wild rabbit in the mountains. [Gray rabbit, ordinary wild rabbit, edible.] ... With his innate ability, Lu Qing gradually established himself in the village, able to survive. Just when he thought he would lead a peaceful life in this ancient world with low productivity, one day, he suddenly saw a figure sweeping across the sky...

At age 3, she knew who she wanted to marry. At age 10, she gave away her first kiss. At age 20, she became his personal bodyguard. For her childhood best friend to still run away after all this, what was the point of her learning marital art all these years? The saddest thing to come out of all this was the fact that she was the one feeling burdened all this time… Five years later. “Mommy! How come I am so cute but I do not have a daddy?” “How should I know? Go ask your daddy!” Xia Yuxun watched the newly married couple through the TV screen and answered without looking back. Half an hour later, at the live wedding that was being broadcasted, a crying child was grabbing onto the groom’s leg and screaming “daddy”. The man stared at the miniature version of himself and asked, “Where’s your mommy?” Xia Yuxun, who was watching this live show gulped, “You brat, you are digging your mom a hole!”

Su Yang was an average university student in Shanghai when he received a system that allowed him to add points to things. The point system provided him with missions and by clearing them, he would gain points. Add a point into an object, the object will receive a special ability; add a point into a plant, the plant will come alive; add points on himself, he will get talents or superpowers. With the mysterious point system in hand, Su Yang aimed to become rich and alter his fate. On his path towards success, he encountered many interesting matters and people, including famous actresses and business tycoons. Fueled by determination, Su Yang set his sight on adding points into all things to help him achieve his goal.

[The End of Spoiling] On her first day at the new school, childhood heartthrob Zac unexpectedly kissed her in front of the whole school! He even declared that she was his girlfriend! He pampered her, protected her, fought off the riff-raff, and shooed away other suitors, but he stubbornly refused to admit that he liked her. Until one day— [Spoiling√][Childhood friends√][No reposting or rewriting√]

Bei Ran lay on the operating table, Gu Qingchen was her surgeon. His eyes, deep as the Aegean Sea, gazed at her: "Honey, it's been four years since we got married, and you're still afraid of me?" Honey? Last night he already threw a divorce agreement at her, what right does he have to call her that? In City A, Gu Qingchen is a long-lasting legend. He is a leading figure in the medical field and a major shareholder in a Fortune 500 company, capable of great influence in the business world. He only needed an obedient wife. Bei Ran was so 'obedient' that he never had to worry. The four-year marriage was just a matter of agreement, but who is the one lingering endlessly after the divorce? She accidentally fell into water at a wedding she was hosting, he said: "Beg me, you know I'm always responsive to your demands!" "Gu Qingchen, we're divorced!" Bei Ran couldn't stand it anymore! He laughed coldly: "Bei Ran, we've been married for four years, you have a five-year-old daughter, do you really want to die here?" Bei Ran was shocked, he knew? Would he fight her for her daughter? Gu Qingchen could never have imagined that the chubby little bun in front of him was actually his biological daughter! "Bei Ran, you hid it from me for five years, always flawlessly obedient before me, tell me, how should I punish you?" Gu Qingchen raised a bloodthirsty smile. Could she possibly not tell him there is also a son who looks just like him! Theater Version: The teacher informed Bei Ran that her son had used a scalpel in school to investigate the cause of death of poisoned small animals. Her daughter was causing a stir in school with her stock trading. In her anger, she said, "No one to take you to school today, take the bus yourselves." The daughter sought help from Gu Qingchen but got no response, so she said: "Yesterday, a pretty aunt stayed in Dad's office for an hour, and her skirt was super short." The twins truly had a shared understanding; the son said: "The station manager hugged Mom yesterday, even kissed her cheek, and said he would never let go!" Bei Ran and Gu Qingchen spoke in unison: "Trying to sow discord, you're still too naive, go to school yourselves!" The siblings shouldered their backpacks and went to take the bus, while the couple returned to the bedroom, closing the door behind them. She leapt onto him, her fiery temper on full display: "You actually stayed with that woman for an entire hour?" He was overbearingly domineering: "Damn it, which part of you did he kiss, I will seal his mouth with a scalpel!"

When Xu Ying woke up in the post-apocalyptic world, she found herself back at eighteen years old in her previous life! Luckily, her portable space was filled with spoils from raiding supermarkets, including clothing, food, shelter, and various weapons and medicines. This made Xu Ying ecstatic. In an era of scarce resources and poverty, she had enough to ensure her family lived a good life. While other families favored sons over daughters, Xu's family had always cherished Xu Ying as their precious jewel. Having squandered a good hand in her previous life, she was determined to do better this time by kicking scumbags to the curb and tearing down the 'green tea' women, all while protecting her family and incidentally snagging the toughest man in the village! Huo Chen had a solitary nature and fearsome appearance, causing children to cry at the sight of him, but Xu Ying, who had honed her skills during the apocalypse, was not afraid of the notoriously fierce man at all. Xu Ying: What do you want to do? We're just partners. Huo Chen: You think you can seduce me and then run? No way.

Gina Yulia Atmaja is a lovely girl who is kind and yet looks cold. She is driven out of the house by the Father and her beloved lover dumps her and prefers her step-sister. With the help of a man in power Gina tried to avenge heartache to those who had been hurting her. Did Gina find her happiness?

What happens when a BL fangirl wakes up smack in the middle of her favourite BL story? Naturally, you'd expect her to fangirl from the sidelines, cheering for the MCs like the dedicated shipper she is. But plot twist—she’s now a guy. And not just any guy—a ridiculously handsome guy! After spending an embarrassing amount of time winking at her own reflection and flexing muscles she never had before, she decides, “Why just watch the romance when you can be the romance?” Armed with good looks, charm, and way too much insider knowledge of every trope imaginable, she sets out to conquer every character in the story, including the MC she used to fangirl over. But wait… Does this make her gay? Or straight? Or just hopelessly in love with her own fictional fantasy? Frankly, she’s too busy causing chaos (and enjoying it) to care. PS: There is smut, and it's reverse harem :3 And Mpreg!

《Decisive Killing》，《He stood there asking me to kill, I don't kill him, it's an insult to him》，《If he doesn't go to die, am I going to die?》，《I'm too lazy to talk, you're not worth listening to》，《I don't think they're in pain》，《We're all trying to live》 Crossing into the ancient martial arts world where danger and opportunity coexisted, Fang Yuan held the "Book of Good People", as long as he did good deeds, he could become stronger, so he embarked on a path of doing good deeds and accumulating virtue