(Dropped)Hello Mortal

Synopsis

I was a guy with the biggest and most richest company's in the world and I always loved Spider-Man but I was bored of being stuck in office my entire life, I wanted something more, so I decided that camping in the worlds harshest climates and dangerous places would at least make my life interesting.I was curious about the thrill I may get, little did I know my traveling from curiosity would get my killed just like that saying, what was it again, ah whatever I'm dying from this spider bite anyway.I just realized the irony from my situation, my most favorite hero got powers the same way I'm dying heheh, I feel my eyelids getting heavier and heavier, guess my time has come, at least I don't have to worry about work anymore.*In a dark void* 'Where am I?'
"Hello mortal"
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Not my cover if want to reclaim and take down contact me.
First Fan-Fic ever any support appreciated please constructive criticism only.

8Reviews

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LV 6

Li_Cangtian

Drop the harem and save it for your second or third novel. Poorly written harems just detract from the story. Get some experience writing actual story first.

3yr 5

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LV 14

yokedjaguar

Have you ever had any type of social interaction. Your grammar is pretty annoying to read but the spelling is decent so far. You can't have more cooler or most richest together, you have to write it like your cooler or your more cool than, and you're the richest man in the world or you have the most riches (or wealth) in the world. You just made that mistake a lot during the story not just your synopsis.

3yr 3

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LV 5

TintedvCeo

👍🏻👍🏿👍🏽👍🏻👍🏽👍🏽👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏻👍🏻👍👍🏻👍🏽👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏻👍👍👍🏻👍🏽👍🏽👍🏿👍🏿👍🏻👍🏻👍👍👍🏿👍🏿👍🏽👍🏽👍🏻👍🏻👍👍🏽👍🏽👍🏿👍🏽👍🏻👍👍👍🏽👍🏿👍🏿👍🏽🥰👍🏻

3yr 2

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LV 10

DarthVegito

First off he’s a beta so let’s get that out of the way. Secondly the mc has an iq of 250 but has never used it and after the last chapter he said he’s going to start using his intelligence more lol he’s had over 10years to use it but he’s done NOTHING. Story is trash because the Mc is trash. Redo/fix it

3yr 1

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LV 6

Phoenix1998

Looking good. Cant wait to read more.Looking good. Cant wait to read more.Looking good. Cant wait to read more.Looking good. Cant wait to read more.

3yr 1

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LV 5

Daoist721221

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