Synopsis
In the isolated town of Bast, time had long been broken and no new life could ever be formed. However, after more than a century two babies were born on the day of the promised rain--the rain that only comes once a year.
Rain, one of the two miracle babies, leads a life locked up in an enchanted forest with her foster mother. She and her power to wield time may just be Bast's only key to salvation. But will she be able to fulfill her destined duty once she meets the other miracle baby?
After more than sixteen years, Blaise, the Prince of the Empire, returns to the town of Bast where he was born. Fate leads him to meet Rain, a girl who shares his birthday, and who is on a mission to free Bast from the Empire. Will Blaise's power of fire be able to guide Rain on her mission, or will he merely burn her dreams and goals to oblivion?
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The story is well written, good character development and I love the description, you can really get into the story, a problem that I have with mine... The best thing about the story though is that it makes the characters seem alive. Overall, a good job.
It's too early to review the novel now since it only have two chapters. All I can say is that it has a good start. I'm interested about what happened in Bast, and what would happen to Rain. I understand that you want to explain properly the things going on in a scene, but if you can minimize it a bit, the reading flow could be more better. Maybe, if you can, properly describe how Aras and the others look like. It's kinda hard to imagine them right now. All in all, as of now, this novel really have good potential. The first two chapters is really appealing, and it gave me a good impression. Keep it up. Yo! 😄
Grammar-2? Honestly, my head hurt after reading it, because of the grammar =[ Each sentence contains too much information ****** is better =] I gave you some input in your comments section. I still have this problem personally, but if you changed from passive to active voice your novel could improve a lot. Character Design, A lazy MC? 4? could go either way... too early to tell... World background... 4? a city and an empire again to early, shows signs of being there. Told him brutal... -] enjoy
Fantasy (Elementals) looks promising. Waiting for more. Waiting for more. Waiting for more. Waiting for more. Waiting for more. Waiting for more.
this seems like it'll be an epic drama my only issue is that you really repeat their names, like a lot. I can't tell if MC will be a shameless scoundrel or a calculating halfwit and honestly, I'd like a few more chapters before I can comment on style because it's a genuinely interesting read UWU. looking forward to more. *sets up tent*