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Douluo Dalu 3: Rise of The Beast
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Synopsis
Sureiya Yato is giving the opportunity to be born with the ability of Devils Slayer and God Slayer magic in the world of High school DxD how will he manage to survive in the world of myths, monsters, and horny teenage girls
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I have read half way but now its showing romance which goes two ways either the male is attracted to the female or vice versa.when the male is attracted to the female it makes a fight story **** unless it's just puppy love. In this story the Male has no confidence and is acting like a ***** it's also one where the immortal remembers thousands of cultivation techniques in a world where you need all you time practicing he goes around mesmerising techniques.which I think is such a plot hole oh I have just the technique that she needs Bull****.
I start to read it but the dude is a jackass. Like why take out your anger on a child. It fine to be piss but he shouldn’t think about arguing with a child. Like even if you can look down on the heavens he should have a neutral opinion on people he doesn’t know. If it is his enemy he can look down on them but not on random people who aren’t with his time. Like why bother with trash
I'm looking forward to the comedy .......... ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssss
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(Written in Google Translate) (As it was written with the Translator, many words will be wrong, forgive me) It seems that the First Critique of this work is mine heheh ... Well, I'll start the Critique soon. (A few words / half criticism) The work itself is very good, at least I liked it so far (I use the Translator, so I can't talk about Writing, just the current 'plot', and honestly, I really like it), but in a small problem (for me, and maybe, for others). The uncomfortable part of the Work, is that the Romantic Interest is an OC, and well ... it is difficult not to have a Waifu in Douluo Dalu (in III I have 2 cof, and 1 of them is Gu Yue). So author, I recommend you not to focus on the 'Romance' of other Original Characters, other than that of the Protagonist with the OC, as you will probably make Readers uncomfortable with such. It's just a little tip. (The real criticism) And ... well, I just remembered something important. So far, the OC for some reason is extremely strong (in this case, full of extremely good things), I sincerely recommend lowering its strength, nobody wants to read a work where the Plot promises a Protagonist who 'inherits' something from 1 of Stronger Divine Beasts (and learns from it), but somehow, an OC can be as strong as he (even if he has something special, which by the way, it would be sad to see she also have something special to be as strong as the Protagonist). Here is the real criticism of the work.
Reveal Spoiler
I like the original characters, hope you continue writing, I see a lot of potential in the story. Maybe you can even write a continuation on DD4 with their son.