/ Horror / They Fall Apart
Synopsis
This isn't a book anymore. If you used to read it and are wondering - 'what the heck is going one' - then I suggest you read the author note I've written in here.
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12Reviews
4.73
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The plot is intriguing definitely, and as others have stated, the fact that the murderer was revealed in first chapter was a bit too fast. Although if you focus on him escaping from the murderer, that can become a story linked with those one. But that’s just my suggestion. Keep up the good work author !
As of the first chapter. The story seems nice. Writing quality is good as well. My only complain is that you revealed the killer way too soon.
I'm not really into it when it comes to thriller or mystery but the story is great I will wait for the next chapter, I will probably put this in my library
This is super great novel.. What I love in this novel is that the plot is cliche but the story itself has some unique aspects. I can't wait to read the future chapters in this novel. I recommend reading this.
DAMN!!!! that's all. thanks for coming to my ted talk. But seriously, dope beginning. Please please please update the book. I beg you. That was a very chilling beginning. I can't wait for more chapters to come out.
Reading this at night is really something, but the words convey the right feelings and emotions. It makes the reader curious and expectant, while also scared, in the first few chapters. It's a novel with great emotion so I would definitely recommend it. And comment on the cover: Gotta agree, haha.
They fall apart?... more like she fell o... Aight, I'll stop. First off, I'm not really a huge fan of killing a character right from the get go... Who am I kidding? I even killed my character after seven chapters into my novel AHAHA What I wanted to say is, this is an awesome oneshot. Really nice character descriptions, scenic progressions, and overall vibe of the story matches everything! How could you do that? ^o^ But, one thing I would change is using present tense in a book. It might not be hard since it's just a oneshot, but if ever you're planning to serialize this book, I suggest using past/ past perfect tense and then using present tense on your dialogues. That way, your readers would know the exact time frame of what's happening. It would also help you keep track of your verb usage better since you could just use past tense when you're not sure of it. With present tense, you have to decide whether to use present continuous, present tense, or present perfect. Which is a thousand times difficult than past tense. But that's just a suggestion. It's your book and I had fun reading it. That's all that matters ^ ^ Keep it up, author-san! You'll make it big someday :)
This is a cool one-shot with a lot of potential to become a full-length work. The author has crafted some vivid characters, and scenes full of ******* and emotion. A couple of parts could be smoothed out here and there, but overall quality was great. Hope author turns this into full length story. Keep writing!
"They Fall Apart" starts out as a short murder mystery. In just one chapter, the three main characters are fleshed out well, and motives are quite clear. The author can effectively write shocking scenes very well. I am intrigued about how the story will continue from then on. ***Note to author*** First off, I can see you like mystery novels, and I have to say that I've desired to make one as well. Now on to some points you can think about before you continue writing this into a novel: 1. Mystery novels, especially murder mystery ones, should have at least more than 1 suspect. Here, aside from the MC (Joey) and Katie herself, only one other person could have done the murder. Why do I say that? Because he's the only character that was fleshed out well and had a real motive to do the murder. So, frankly, it wasn't so much a mystery anymore when he was the one who did it in the end. 2. Make sure to put more hints here and there. (I know there was the hint about the competition, but maybe adding more could be good). 3. What was with the pill? I can see there might be more to this story if it gets continued, so I do wanna know more if it does happen. That's it! Great job, and I do hope you continue writing it!
Just a small question before reviewing: author do you like mystery novels more.. Coming to review: There is only one chapter but at the end there is a shock which you may expect or not... I hope you will continue to write this mystery novel.
It's was very thirilling story. Please keep writing it. I want know what happened after he find about wills secret. It's really a tragic week. This story really deserve 5 rate. Do more chapter please.
A great beginning, a good plot, and an uncertain end. This feels like a one-shot, but it's not, and I don't know what to think about it. The only thing I can say that this story didn't leave a good taste in my mouth after reading, so I'm being objective with the stars. The writing quality isn't the best, but the characters, well, the ones left, are good. World background is solid too, so that's a good start. Keep this up, I think people would like to read it.