Naruto: Overpowered Shinobi

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LV 4

SkeleBlade

To start off with, the story isn't bad, in fact its much better than many other stories on this website, however, I don't really feel any sort of excitment. In regards to Writing Quality, the author does a fine job at presenting a work that is readable and makes sense, at least in regards to sentece structure. Stabilty of Updates, as of now, there is a consistent upload, so easy 5. However towards story developement and chacter design is where I find some problems with. When the MC interacts with those of his age, I can forgive that, since those interactions are with children. However, its where the MC speaks with adults is where I find a problem. I mention this in a chapter, but when the MC has a conversation with Mito, it was forced and unrealistic, Ninja wouldn't trust the words of a youngling, nor would they allow the MC to be alive when knowing crucial content. Also, there is no development towards the character's relations with others. Tsunade, for example, taught the MC, but aside from some simple thoughts, there is no real connection. Its similar to Mito's method, where the MC as a favor of Tsunade/Mito, they resist at first, but then agree anyway, for no real reason. It should be the MC trying to curry favor of the two, by being near them and interacting with them. Tsunade wouldn't pick a random kid who shows up to ask to be taught, and Mito wouldn't let the MC live after knowing S ranked secrets. The MC's relationship with Minato, is a bit more developed, but still has flaws of how quick their relationship progressed. In regards to World Background, there is some inconsistencies, but the Author has stated that he is aware of them is decided from more of an AU, so that is fine, to a degree at least. Overall, since this is the Author's first story, the story isn't that bad, but there has yet to be something that set's it apart from other stories. I would sugest taking some time to think of how the MC interacts with others and that while speeding the story up is certainly fine to skip boring parts, doing that too often and leaving out the interactions just makes it your average story. As a final note to the author, while I am critiquing your story, I know that you will do better overtime, and I am leaving this review to help you in improving on your writing, as opposed to the other reviews that really don't say all that much.

LV 4

ZoneTail

▪︎Writing Quality...............☆☆☆☆☆ ▪︎Story Development........☆☆☆☆☆ - love the story so far and tnx for noharem welldone ▪︎Character Design...........☆☆☆☆☆ ▪︎Updating Stability..........☆☆☆☆☆ ▪︎World Background.........☆☆☆☆☆

LV 15

Devon_Cota

Honestly writing qualities really good,the story's really good,your character is awesome,and I love the powers you gave him the only problem I see is that it seems you forget what you wrote in the past just small details here and there nothing really big but thats my review keep it up looking forward for the next chapter

LV 4

BobboLobbo

I don't know if anyone else will feel it, but.. I didn't get excited after the part where the MC mellows down. The novel is just very, extremely cliché, I feel like anyone can make this novel easily. Anways, good try author.

LV 1

Zenhood_Symphonity

Every single chapter had a thing or two to make me cringe. It is often the case with those "wish stories" as they all have to keep on adding more and more cheat as fast as possible. An interesting issue is that because the mc has too many abilities the story is almost focused on him working on his powers and doing unrealistic cringe stuff. Like the guy implanted an AI chip in his brain, doing alone in a month what millions of human couldn't in in a century irl. Or when he decides to steal mito's knowledge to her face and she accept. The zanpakuto stuff was the worst to me since it's supposed to be some shinigami reiatsu thing from bleach, I just find that stuff out of place but more than usual. I think I should adress the whole "child soldier" issue, it's super bad and I blame kishimoto for it since naruto is basicaly no shounen and worse than a seinen because it has child soldier being experimented upon in it and other crazy stuff, it is kind of insane how a shounen ended up being so disturbing because it is showing young characters and trying to be a shounen manga so hard making it worse. But the whole thing about graduating early always happen in every fanfic and here we have a 9 years old anbu.... I am starting to hate naruto in general because of that stuff and I can't recommend that type of stories to anyone. I really blame kishimoto for it but the fact that the fandom embrace it makes it even worse in a sense, I'm also opposed to the whole grooming in here with konan and others, I'm just going to look away from that. It could have been way better if the character had graduated at 13 like in the manga and only took serious missions from 16, like you would expect. I really take issue with kids going to war or even fighting to death. They should at least be 14 for the sake of immersion and 20 to make relationships possible and interesting. Reading about 9 years old ninjas just shouldn't be a thing at all. I know a kid that is 11 years old and listening to him is like listening to a stream of unfiltering stupid thoughts that lack all the experience of life and the wisdom that come from suffering and humiliations, it's obvious yet listening to an 11 years old is physicaly painful because of that and I can't imagine 9 years old kids being anything else than a danger to themselves since they just don't realise how cruel the world is nor how meaningless what they see as great is.You just can't have characters that age at all in my eyes.

LV 1

My_Dao_Is_Above

not loot it is plunder anyway am about to start reading it so you better correct before i am done reading or you will a bad side of me, i dare you not to change it. Hahahaha am just kidding dont be tense, but seriously its not loot its PLUNDER

LV 4

Potofhoney

More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more

LV 13

kickyx

Pretty good, keep it up -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LV 4

JapaOuO

Very good......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

LV 2

SORCERERSUPREME_7

this story is very good and I'm looking forward for more chapters and how the story will continue onwards, so please keep up the good work ..

LV 4

Faggio

Has Pontential, nice flow of development of the character gaining strength

LV 4

Gd_Sys

Moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

LV 1

Jordi_Hardiansyah

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LV 3

uflesh940

It's an interesting story with an interesting premise and an interesting power set. Eventually I ended up dropping. The truth is that despite the premise, the story is rather lacking in plot, and though the main character claims to desire power so he can protect his loved ones, we actually don't know anything about said loved ones or his bond with them, because the story skips over them entirely. Finally, I dislike how he actively seeks out cannon characters to convert to his side while they're still children, like when he seeks out Konan while in Amegakure. Ultimately, the story has potential, but it isn't for me.

LV 11

Akahime

My favorite Naruto fic !! Well written and the choice of powers for the MC is very interesting, in addition it is Mc x Konan, there is no better thing =) btw no harem =)))))))))))))))))

LV 3

Snails4Lifee

Just. Don't. Drop. ˏ₍•ɞ•₎ˎ Mkay? ξ( ✿＞◡❛) -ναιεяα (*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡ Also yes I am so happy that there are amazing fanfics that haven't been dropped... So many drop midway, or say they're going for two days but never come back. Oh uh.. Sorry for lowering the mood. Bai~ ˙Ⱉ˙ฅ

LV 4

SageofNothing

good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good

LV 4

SupremadaRevolta

More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more moreMore more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more

LV 2

DaoistahFek8

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