Synopsis
Dropped, gonna upload it on fanfiction.net instead. got several texts that suggested this course of action. Gonna do this on another site instead.
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the story might have been interesting. But I can't stand the way you used the word (you). as you seem to think that you're referring to yourself Mr. author but you're actually talking to your audience. which creates a very awkward contrast with the perspective within the story and it's a very good way to turn people or possible readers away from your story if that's what you were trying to do. then congrats you succeeded.
Did you transfer the book to fanfiction.net yet or some other platform and if you did what is it called cause I donโt exactly remember what it was called here
I feel like this could have been a good story but you ruined it with the way you are addressing the mc. Like why didn't you just make up a random name for him and be done with it? It completely ruins the entire story.
My great despair was whether I should have it from a second or first perspective. I decided to use ยดยดyouยดยด because the reader is the main character. I almost used `` He``. "He walked out of the ship and pulled out a blaster" thats one way to write, and the other one is "You walked out of the ship and pulled a blaster." But I'll make an update later. To go from 2nd perspective. But thanks for the options, I need feed-back.
It's hard to read. The author rides in a 2nd perspective that over time gets really anoying to read it like that................................
I would say that any work that uses a 2nd person POV except for "choose your adventure" types of books are bad. You aren't taking advice from the readers in terms of plot and we have no real input on how the character will act, so the 2nd person POV is not appropriate. Either use 1st person and stick onto the MC for the whole duration without ever changing perspectives unless necessary or go 3rd person.
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Iโm loving the story thus far but I believe you (the author) should probably come up with a better title โฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆ.
I have really enjoyed what was written so far especially the jokes on star wars tech. keep up the good work. tdutxjtdhtdhrxjtxjgxjgxjgxjfxjxfjfxjf
The story is coming soon
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