NOT HARRY POTTER AND THE SYSTEM

LV 4

Devil023

This story is totally messed up. Reason- 1. How can he reach intermediate level in 1to7 year magic just by reading within 10 days when he also does so many work. even if he have boost he can only learn things twice fast as normal/other genius. 2. How can he learn so much when his aunt family never let him learn or go anywhere. 3. How can anyone let 11 year old go Knockturn alley alone without someone attempting kidnapping him. 4. Runes. Latin lang and other major subject required so many books how can he learn when he didnt have Fast or instant comprehension. and where he can find so many books easily. 5. How can someone let 11 year old boy purchase occlumency book. and there are many many more points. 6. Whole story looks like chunni. AUTHOR DROP IT AND REWRITE

LV 11

seli_1999

Hey author🙋‍♀️ur concept is gud and entertaining...hope it will be more fun in the future... suggestions: 1. please mention any author notes in any chapters using (A/N: blabla). 2. there are grammatical mistakes and spelling mistakes. hope u will clear em. 3. check format of chapters before their release since dialogues of diff people are stacked up in same paragraph. It looks cluttered. my review is just upto 4 chapters so don't be discouraged with less stars... anyways all the best there👍

LV 4

DaoOfCopying

Who's The Fl? Is It Harem? [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

LV 5

t3j45

Good start... disappointing development👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

LV 13

Lx90

it seems like you took it from your original language then MTL it to english then re MTL to nonesense and the MTL it back to english. I am sorry you need to rewrite it i couldnt go on anymore. It seems like you are rushing the lvling because you gave yourself to little time to do it. check for spelling mistakes and check if the sentence makes sense. Cause some of the sentnces gave me cancer.

LV 14

Joseph_Treshock

it's not terrible but altogether absolutely wretched

LV 4

LastGod

Wasted the first wish. Unfunny jokes like deadpool but deadpool's actually funny. So an unfunny deadpool. Then dropped the story. Really, if he kept it going Apollo would have dropped this anyways, it's really bad. It has promise if you got rid of the unfunny jokes took it seriously stopped making stupid decisions like having a character that is older than Harry loving his parents when he isn't really harry, and he knows he's not Harry. Even if you merged with Harry's memories, he should know that he's not harry. It's just annoying. That's the feeling I get for this story a lot. Is annoying that should not be the feeling you get from a story like this it should be fun, interesting.

LV 13

Alchemist

I'd would probably take me around 15 minutes to list everything that's wrong with this story, so I'll just say this: It reads like it was written by a pre-pubescent kid.

LV 4

Jeet_Chattopadhyay

Is this story ever gonna be updated ?????

LV 2

Eliel_Souza

i don't know why have a rating so bad but in my opinion is super fanfic ffffffffffffffffffff fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffff

LV 14

DreamyFog

Really liked this one and the op mc, its shame that mc did not join slytherin (only my personal regret). But yeah absolutely loved the opness of mc and how he didn't trust dumbdork! My personal regrets: 1. didn't join slytherin 2. Hasn't used dark arts yet, is not evil. But very good novel would have loved to read over 200chaps its shame there are so little amount of chapters...

LV 1

DevilKing1994

This story is a utter mess even calling it a story is an insult to stories everywhere It's more like a Concept Piece/Notes than a story it needs a complete rewrite as none of it makes any sense at all Please restart this from the start with a rewrite

LV 10

asaade

everything's a. mess, [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=fp][img=recommend][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

LV 14

LucasMYeet

Is this a novel or something like a diary? I believe the author may have been sleepwalking while making this, just writing any thoughts he had about a dream of being in the HP world I guess. Anyways, the text overall makes it look like a diary instead of a novel.

LV 5

Insane_Pumpkin

Not a bad idea, though a system in HP world is so problematic that it's not worth it most of the time. Either you mess up something or you keep things so vague that system is barerly mentioned. At least you didn't use lvls, that would be a tragedy. I read about 9ch and i can allready see that it's a mess, you need a editor or someone that can go through problems with grammar and logic. Some sentences lack words and the entire visit to goblins was wierd. Not mentioning lack of reaction to a horcrux from the goblin who gave him a test.

LV 12

CopyPaste1

grammatical errors paragraphs is a mess dialogues make no sense half the chapters is author notes spam caps with no reason. Maybe the author had a good story but he dont care to edit or be more careful with his fic!