Elden Ring System In Marvel

LV 3

SpedaHooves

Just the first chapter is a major alarm bell. Making it 15k words of nothing, being repeated just so your book is there, taking anyone's time away for those unknowing is a red flag. I went to keep reading, onto the setting. Nothing is decided on there, there's nothing showing how the main character looks, unlike you stated, and after 9 chapters, you'd figure at least the Armour, basic weaponry, and other common things would be decided already, but nope. And then, my most agravating problem with this, is no grammar being fixed, and worst of all, not punctuating things with ",', or even , so far. And then there's not spacing paragraphs out!!! I'm sorry, if English is not your first language, but if you intend on writing something IN English, then take a class for Punctuation, writing, and probably a little on the English subject as well. The idea is great, it's just the way you go about it needs to be fixed, and don't ever post another '1st' Chapter containing 15 thousand words of absolute nonsense being repeated. Take the time to write a first chapter that's good AS a first chapter, make it relevant to the story you plan on going for. I said my piece.

LV 3

Fire_Is_Hot

Giving myself a five star in hopes of boosting viewership if you enjot please do the same thankyou! xpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxpxp

LV 3

Absolute_Qlipoth

Why is this in the Novel section and not the fanfic section?

Gave a five star so that you keep writing its ok so far but keep going. XPXPXPXPXPXPPXPXPXPXXPXPXPXPXPXPPXPXPXPXXPXPXPXPXPXPPXPXPXPXXPXPXPXPXPXPPXPXPXPX

LV 3

Bell_Ragnorok05

5 stars overall love it btw u should add "..." to the start and end of speech so people have an easier time reading people talking. other than that I cant find anything bad about it so good job.

LV 13

Jayxen

Could have "..." for the words of characters and to see what the character chooses will be best if the system had a chart to see what's better over all rather than one thing. Would like more updates but I understand that stuff happens

LV 1

David_Santana_1435

I really really really love this please keep writing this novel cut i for one will love to keep reading this and I will recommend this to some friends

LV 4

ObamaUchiha

straight off the bat. tells us how he is going to essentially force the characters into being the mc slave. you can imagine what else he goes in depth into. im not going to bother with this trash

LV 5

Darth_Ullyses

has great concept but let me introduce to you the (") it is used at the beginning and the end of a conversation. That being said hope you wont give up on this story.

LV 1

Imperialista

Continue please kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkajjakakakakakakakakakakkakakakakakakakakakakakakkaakakkakahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaha

LV 2

Bell_Cranel_God05

pls continue I love it but sadly have to rate it as 3.8 because of the lack of updates sry. 😔 😢 😞 😕 😪 😔 😢 😞 😕 😪 😔 😢 😞 😕 😪 😔 emojis to fill the word count