/ Action / YAKUZA: The Beginning of Deaths
YAKUZA: The Beginning of Deaths
4.67 (40 ratings)
Synopsis
Japan, Year 1989. A gun fire in the middle of the night woke up the neighbors of Shibuya, with a tire screeching noise leaving the neighborhood. Some people started to come out of their house as to see what had happened there, slowly the neighbors in their homes started to turn their lights on. The neighborhood that was so dark even the moon light couldn't pass through lit up, leaving a young women's body in the center of that neighborhoods ground....
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40Reviews
4.67
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This was a lot more gruesome than I expected. Granted, that's not why I'm giving this five-stars. Truly look at the writer's craft. He takes time to describe each scene without breaking people's characters. No overpowered individuals and an interesting tale about Eastern culture.
Really well written oml in love with this honestly i usually am not attracted towards fantasy and Japanese kind of novels but this one is just perfection!
A beginning that will shatter your heart and a world dominated by the mafia in Japanese culture. Plenty of exciting action and some really beautiful world building.
(Part of a Review Swap) About Style: Foreword: Of course, all these things are simply observations. Style is one thing that is difficult to change in the middle of any novel, so just think of these as a reader's perspective rather than suggestions. - I like how you used dashes to show the difference between a phone call and normal speaking, but I was kind of confused when the main character also spoke in the same style while talking to the Captain in person. It looks like this is used regularly throughout and I don't really understand its purpose. Personally, I just write in a strictly traditional manner, utilizing only quotation marks and ending with "said the character" or variation. (*TLDR; quotes are a bit confusing with dashes instead of quotation marks. Not sure what those signify*) - I also noticed that the novel was written in a script-like format, the date and place present without being a sentence and utilizing tumblresque signification of action (such as when the wife *Smiles*). I personally never read a book in a similar format, but there's nothing wrong with it. I believe that readers of more traditional books (such as myself) might be a bit repelled by the casualness. (*TLDR; The casualness of the writing may be unsavoury for some. Of course, that's a personal preference*) About Plot: Alright, I've read a little bit more of your book. Up to Chapter 3 to be more specific. I think I'll skip to the final chapters to see if I'm giving unuseful advice, but here's what I've thought about it: Firstly, the pro: I think the fight scenes are well choreographed and interesting. There's always a lot of action happening and it really feels like a yakuza action movie. I still feel like the wording could be edited further (and there were a noticeable amount of grammar mistakes), but the content is definitely there. Solid action. I also liked the protagonist, Kazuki Oni Yamato. Secondly, some feedback: I thought the plot was pretty generic, though maybe the plot isn't the main focus. I mean, you get what you look for and it definitely was a book about the yakuza, all the cliches included. So far, I would personally give around 4/10. It definitely improves as it goes on, but I don't think it's for me. But hey, it seems that a lot of people are enjoying your book (56K views are a lot!) and that's all that matters. Final Evaluation: After reading the final chapter (which was a bit shorter which is why I was able to write the review so quickly,) my rating for the book just went up to 6/10. Wow, the improvements are stellar, from grammatical correctness to the dialogue, everything's improved by quite a lot! Now, there are some criticisms and so, these are my final thoughts. Grammar: There are still some minor grammatical inconsistencies like sometimes the suffix 'san' being capitalized (Suzume San) and sometimes being connected to the names (Yamato-san) as well as 'Ojosan' sometimes being capitalized and sometimes not. Cultural Aspects: Now, I need to clarify that I am not Japanese and may you are. I'm just taking a stance from the perspective of the readers. From my limited knowledge, the book can't help but seem a bit like a non-Japanese person who wrote a book about Japan. Again, no offence. From the names (Yamato, Suzume, Jin) to the locations mentioned (Shibuya, Tokyo) as well as the usage of the honorifics (saying -chan to someone that doesn't know you), it can feel a bit inauthentic. Not saying you need to change anything, just something you might want to look out for. Format: There's definitely a shift in format from the first few and the last few chapters, mostly noticeable in the quotes and signification of location and time. Now, it's definitely for the better, but if possible, it'd be great if you could edit the previous chapters to be more in line with the current standards (unless webnovel.com doesn't allow that). Conclusion: I think this is a great start to your portfolio as a writer and there is a great deal of audience engagement, meaning that there is a market for these types of stories, but I believe it could be further improved, especially in grammar. Overall, a pretty solid read. Personally 6/10, but that's just my personal preference and this book is probably not for me. I see a lot of 5 stars and four stars reviews, so you're doing great!
It's thrilling, the way the action begins almost immediately the reading begins. I totally recommend it for lovers of non-fantasy martial arts.
This book is really good, the characters and the writing style all fit in and keep it up
Great storyline and characters. I love the take that the author used in potraying Japanese culture. It's very vivid and really captivating. Looking forward for more updates from the author.
This is my first yakuza Japanese story and honestly I just loved it. Got hooked by the first chapter and that reverse just made me want to continue. Loving the work so much and looking forward to more deaths and hoping for the revenge to be taken well. Keep up the good work and well done,
Hey there author! Honestly, I was drawn to your book because of its title... “YAKUZA”... I've had my expectations beforehand, and I was just glad I gave it a try. I felt like I was watching anime as I read it. It didn't come off as exceptional though, but I think this book has potential. Let's support this book y'all! >///<
Good job, very entertaining, grrat story development and really likes how the writer explained the detaill in the novel. Just give a try and you wont regret it
The novel exudes the atmosphere of an action-packed detective story, firmly rooted in 1989 Japan. Death is a recurring theme throughout the narrative. If you have a penchant for this genre, it's definitely worth a read.
This book thrusts me into the gritty underbelly of 1989 Japan, where a gunshot shatters the tranquility of Shibuya. In this suspenseful tale, the author deftly weaves a web of mystery and intrigue, drawing the reader into a world of darkness illuminated by secrets. The story masterfully unfolds, exposing the hidden layers of a crime-ridden society. With vivid descriptions and an unrelenting pace, it explores the consequences of choices made in the shadows. This gripping novel delivers a potent blend of suspense and atmosphere, making it a must-read for fans of crime thrillers with a Japanese twist.
Really liked the world building and the beginning of the novel hope for more updates 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Oooooo.... i love this! It's like a captivating Yakuza-like story. I feel that this novel is something to look out for. The dialogues and details are executed to perfection in my view. Added to my library to follow the story closely!
A very intense, fast paced, and interesting story. Aside from some syntax issues and some unecessary exposition (info dump--and heck, I'm guilty of that a lot too) this is a pretty good story and I'll definitely keep it in my library so I can read more.
Although this is an early review, i already like this book. Its really easy to read, with just a little grammatical corrections, this book has a lot of potential. So keep going author.
A fury fiilled, action packed read. From the first chapter, I had expectations about what this book would be about. Those were subverted and I was drawn in to the world the author created. The writing is great, the story interesting and engaging and it's full of action. Really good action. I'm only at chapter 8 but looking forward to reading the rest of this.
Although there were some grammatical errors, this was a fun read. I'm intrigued on what Yamato plans on doing after what just occured (won't say bc of spoilers). Let's see if Yamato will get his revenge.
Pros: First and foremost, I like how I can visualize the scenario of a Yakuza scene in each chapter. The summary is also written well. I like how fast-paced the story is from the beginning, especially with the aggressive dialogue and screaming. The setting of the story in 1989 Japan is very emphasized, and this may not be a part of your story, but I get a lot of “urban life” aesthetics from it. Now for the cons….the summary, though written well and clear, is generic. For me to appreciate a story, I want my eyes to widen in anticipation for what happens….you know, like a mystery. But so far so good, this novel isn’t bad or anything. It’s a refreshing take on the real-life representation of Yakuzas and Japanese gangs. Really cool concept. Personally, I give this an 8/10. Your novel has potential, although personally, I wish it stood out more. This action-packed novel is anyways good for readers who are fond of exploring Japanese culture. Again, this is all opinion. Take this with a grain of salt, for I am not a seasoned writer :P Wishing you the best of luck with your writing journey!
I'm happy to see a novel that isn't about an overpowered mc, and I also am a fan of Japanese culture, and this novel is honestly just really good