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The Billionaine's Ex-Lover is Me
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Synopsis
Marie's life change 8 years ago when she successfully gave birth to twins, Maxon and Thalia. They were her light and joy after the accident which caused her to have total amnesia the doctor did say it could return one day as long as is exposed to the things that she previously owned, but she was not from this small island in Greece, and no one knew who she is. The only reminder of her past is a necklace with her name.
Despite that she lived an honest life working at a bakery owned an old couple who took her in when they found her. Marie lived in the small island happily with the twins but thing changed when she was found by her Mother.
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Hi, for a starter chapter, I'd say you did pretty well^^ I love the flow of the plot and where it's going. You captured the mood of the events unfolding effortlessly. I as a reader knew what you wanted to convey. However, for my unsolicited advice, it would've been nice if you added a little bit of "detail" before or while they did the 'thing'. Or as they say, the context. Just a bit, like you sprinkle them here and there just to let the reader be on their tippy toes and have something to spark their interest. Hence, it will make them look forward to. Then of course, grammatically-wise I say you did pretty well too. Based on your writing, I believe that you still need to improve your grammar. After writing, you might want to reread over and over again. But you have to rest of course just to freshen your perspective then proofread after, it really help when spotting a few mistakes here and there. And that's completely fine. Overall, I'd say it's pretty good, very nice and super amazing^^ for a first chapter. I love your writing style. Its's distinct but it's there.