Becoming Rich in Primitive World

LV 14

King_Wyrtt

The thing that bothers me the most is this reads like a sitcom. Like you need to get it over with as soon as possible. The chapters are way too short in fact this review is longer than most of your chapters. Chapters should be 1000 to 3000 words especially if you plan to minimize it in the future. I assume it takes place in the Stone Age due to the title but other than that we have no clue as to the setting of the book. I like the whole invention thing but feel you speed through it fast savor it have fun with it. The system is cool as well, however, the grammar thing could be misconstrued as making fun of Asian people or other racial groups having difficulties pronouncing English. I'm sure you don't mean it but it could be taken that way. Also, have more dialog and story to flesh out the actors it seems like the only thing you center on is the main story. Let's learn more about the MC and his mom

LV 4

AC_F5

Well like I said I will give you a more honest review, before you think why the score is low, I will explain the points given to your novel, if your novel improves I will drop a better review.. also I would like to mention your novel is just in the beginning phase so I can't give you higher rating on certain aspects..Now first thing first:writing quality:I would like to give you 2,5 stars but I can't give half stars so for now it will be 3 stars.. I will not give you higher because while your writing is not bad.. like I said before you chapters are too short.. and there are thing you could do too improve your writing quality which I will mention in the second aspect since the improvements concerns both aspectsoverall I will give you 2 stars except writing quality to 3 stars since your writing is not that bad considering other novels I read..story development:the story is interesting although it has some cliche aspect.. but for now it works.. I would consider the story fast paced which I don't particularly like with this kind of novels.. you're going to fast in his development.. you could have slowed down add more details to the novel and or write certain parts longer.. also a point I would like to mention is you expanded so much and fast while not giving a reader the feeling like he has done something admirable.. and another point which I want to mention I will explain in the next aspectcharacter design:You could have more interaction with different characters in your story.. for now it look like the characters you mentioned are just for the sake of MC to have some world around him and help him with his quest/objectivesthere is also the point I would like to mention because of the fast pace.. your MC is using/making era changing invententions but you don't mentioned anything about safe guarding these.. you're introducing new characters helping out with your inventioned but not mentioning any trust/loyalty between the MC and characters while you do setuo the story for multiple possible villains who would could do anything to get your invention/ideas and disposing/exploiting your MC..updating stability:cant say much about this since I haven't bookmarked your novel for now I will give you 2 starsworld background:other than mentioning a few things about the world the MC living there is not much to go around with and I can't give you any higher since your story is just in the beginning phaselast but not least I would like to mention you could improve the novel a lot with making pace of the novel a bit slower.. take some time on completing quests have more interaction with other characters for building better relationships.. there also other things you could do to improve the novel but I won't get into it because it could change your story too much if you would follow those opinions.. I will let you figure it out your self and will only say to not make mistakes like other authors of making things too cliche.. some things are fine and can work for your novel.. but some will destroy your novel..

LV 4

AC_F5

chapter are way to short.. I suggest to make chapters of at least 1000 to 1500 words.. and also I would suggest to combine the current chapters

LV 15

Sojuuuus

Chapters too short. No information on the world. Seems to be remedial reading.