/ Book&Literature / Bio-Force Field in Worm
Synopsis
OC Parahuman with powers influenced by Amy and Victoria Dallon(Panacea and Glory Girl).
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Write a reviewLots of potential and the story has some good structure but it feels more like a rough draft then a finished story. trying to introduce so many characters leaves them all feeling as if they have little importance, conversation fell cutoff and forced with no build up and no explanation on why character who talk to one another are even present Layla by Ch11 feels like a figment of imagination because we don't know how she looks like or even her backstory or anything just that's she's present for some reason. the powers seem cool so no problem their but it just seems like the MC is trying to do too much with them too early, forms for various situation usually come up because the character eventually gets stumped by a problem they didn't account for and have to adapt. build up is the most major problem, no transitions between scenes or even an explanation on why a character is present at certain locations is given leaving a reader wondering when did some even become a part of the scene and why should i care that their present. All in all i like a lot of ideas just need more polishing of writing skill, hope the story get more stable in writing quality.
Author ASJ_ASJ
A Worm fic in this platform? Man, that's rare! I'll add it to my library and read it with great interest. :)................................