Synopsis
In a destroyed world where humanity is on the verge of extinction, a survivor uses a spell combining the magic of different civilizations to return to its past and prevent the end of the world ... or at least, give humanity the weapons to be able to survive.
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The idea is not bad at all. The biggest problem I have with this is writing quality (grammar and such, that's why I only put 3 stars for writing quality). Some sentences are completely incoherent. Author, you really need editor to check and fix your text (it seems you're not native English speaker). I could help, but it's not my native language as well, so you'd better ask/look for someone anyway.
This story starts off with a good pace but lost traction real quick. He tells his family he’s from the future then he tells his best friend then he gets multiple girls involved like this is just a hearm starting novel so far I don’t want to sit here and read 24 chapters about how he’s going to cultivate and his his friends and family are going to learn magic. It’s so boring reading info dump after info dump. The story is all over the place and the main chars not likable. This novel isn’t for me.
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The idea is good, but the story has no realism at all. I advice those more than 14 years old not to read it as they risk being bored to death. Author should know the differences between a novel and a story for kids.
Yeah...the grammar is a little bad. Inconsistencies in using first person and third person are confusing. I just hope that your (author) future chapter more focus on trying to give a fighting chance to humanity, meaning developing weapon, technologies, martial art sect or magic academy not just MC trying to become strong alone. Even superman cannot be at two place at once. So built a fucking army.
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Some sentence have grammar mistake and wrong wording use. Still is is pretty readable Having 2 types of power base : cultivators and magic is good as it make it easier for readers to remember them. All in all, not too bad for a post apocalypse novel with time travel.
Grammar 2/5 Surprise surprise, another novel with a good idea only to be a weapon of grammar destruction. Your sentences don't make sense and you don't know how to interconnect conversations. You think that only with "bla bla" the people will understand who the **** is talking. But no, it doesn't help. Not even one bit. Not even that, you don't put descriptions on the dialogues, so most of the time I imagine 2 persons speaking like robots. ALSO!!! Can you PLEASE stop using Chinese additives to names? Nobody understands them and nobody likes them. Updates 4/5 A lot of small chapters to build numbers, not something surprising. But a thing most authors do to gather people. Story 3/5 Cliche after cliche. The school beauty falls in love with him the first time they meet because of a drawing he drew because he liked her smile. ok...wtf dude. Mother/Father believes his son no matter what. And they suddenly gained powers, What effects would make in their life? In their daily lives? In their work? Interaction with friends? No mention of them at all. Best friend and him always talk with the sentence "Bro", makes it confusing as hell to tell which retard is talking to the other. All the precious stones shine and give powers but then they disappear, okay...So far their emerald shines like a lantern all day long with no problem. He decided to tell his "Bro" as soon as his parents and he believes him too. He doesn't even talk to their parents of their course of action like a normal human would do. He clearly said that most people capable of fighting is for the better of the world...Ok, a strategy is a way to fight you know? Is not all about killing and hitting others. Character 2/5 So bland, so immature, so rash. He doesn't behave like an ***** would behave and he's supposed to have lived 2 lives. A goody two shoes delivering power to other side characters with no plan of action what so ever. He behaves like a **** in hormones. Fighting before even thinking. World 5/5 I love the coming back from the future to save the past. And the world is the real world, so no world building.
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