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29Reviews
4.61
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Needs quite a bit of work in my opinion. Why I believe that to be the case I'll try to point out to you author or reader in the following paragraph in the hopes to help you a little instead of just praising the sun out of the sky or something. Don't take it personal as it isn't meant to be seen as such. Well, on with it: The grammar used in this story is pretty bad which made it uncomfortable and difficult to read at times. That in turn lead to me not really sure what was happening at times (not always). To complement said lack in good grammar is the missing depiction of the world and its atmosphere. If this story were a painting it would miss all colours and consist only of predrawn lines used in its creation so to speak. Then there is the problem of the tenses. Sometimes you are writing in the present tense, sometimes in the future or even mix them completely. Try to stick to one when writing. It makes reading your story much more comfortable. (Of course sometimes you have to switch but that's a given in my opinion.) The last point I would like to point out is the switch in perspectives or scenes. Mark them somehow as it becomes a little confusing to read about one character now and a second later look through the eyes of somebody completely different. I made that mistake as well until someone pointed it out to me. So I thought I may as well just pass along that advice.^^ I know this review may demotivate you but I am of the firm opinion that only critical reviews actually help us writers to advance and improve, That of course doesn't mean encouraging or motivating comments aren't appreciated. Continue writing my dude and I hope you will use this review to further yourself! Good luck and stay healthy :-)
Warning This book is sad as **** if you are a emotional person prepare to cry your eyes out.
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Interestingly, a super intelligent autistic boy, I look forward to the story's breakthroughs, it has potential, as the energy system that was used before the chakra was never told in the story.
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Hello there DaoistlvsgQ6. I love to give 5 stars because is. The novel that you write is very fun and interesting to me. I love reading it very much when I'm free. Every story plot in all the chapters is great and good. I wish I could read it every day to fill my day. I like the characteristic of all your characters especially your main lead. I also hope that the authors continue writing to the end and I always support your hard work. Thank you for your hard works and don’t drop or reboot it or hiatus because I love to read your novel. I hope can read more and more a chapter every day. I hope you can release 2 chapters every day if you not too busy or sick. Your novel makes my life colorful and not boring. [img=update] [img=update] [img=update] [img=coins] [img=coins] [img=coins]
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mc is dumm retarded bastard ................................................ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
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5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 v
Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Vina Ooredoo Ooredoo Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema
Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo
Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Box Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat
Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat
a really well developed and written story so far especially in later chaps where you can see his development ...,..,..,..,.,.,,..,,,....
Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Box Indosat Indosat Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo
This is a very good story it does start sad but it just adds more to the back story to the mc. The pacing of the novel is good and even though the mc is part of naruto worlds main story he has his own part to play and does it follow the cast around like a lost puppy. Each chapter is a longer than most other fan fic on this site which is a bonus 100% recomend reading this
This is good but I am so confuse in chap 22 and 23(I gave up, reading in this chapter too) . And can someone tell me what the heck happened.
Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema
First a little about my ratings. As a fanfic set in a preexisting world I can't give full marks for world background, as the author of the fic didn't create it. The author has added a few additions though so instead of a 3 I gave it a 4 for making his mark on it. I won't give a 5 in a fanfic set in the world of another author. The updates while frequent aren't scheduled coming seemingly whenever the author had the time. It could be a couple a day or a couple of days in-between. I gave a 4 for the fast frequent updates but won't give a 5 without updates being scheduled as well, so the readers know what and when to expect chapters. Writing is generally good, but not without mistakes, and it has to be basically perfect to get a 5 from me. Now story and character both got a 5 because the author put the effort to make it unique (personal experience and opinion). That is the basic reasoning, next, I will go more into details of it. The MC is an OC with new powers and abilities. It is quite complex and certainly frustrating at the start but gradually details are being revealed and we begin to understand how his power works and reasons for our frustrations. I currently look forward to seeing more about it in future chapters. At least at the moment, he could already be called OP aside from a few old monsters and the main players of the world he can fight the rest already and has a path likely to take him to the top of the world in the future. I do love that we are seeing a fanfic not set in team 7! How refreshing! Well, jokes aside it really is nice to see and it does make you wonder how certain teams came to be effective and well bonded when the characters within them are so different and problematic. The original never really explain it, so stories like this are good as they make you think about it while the authors come up with ways to make them work. Although it was a large source of my frustrations I appreciate the effort of giving the MC a unique background and history. Glad I made it through as I expect many may drop it during that period. The setting may have been better suited to an original novel than a fanfic where people come with different expectations. Usually about an OP MC maybe with a skimmed over tragic backstory before rising to the top while collecting beauties and face-slapping. I expect many will complain about the pairing that seems to be budding when it is not one of the main girls people usually choose unless it is a collect them all harem in which case she would be an afterthought. Though I am enjoying it as the relationship is growing slowly, sure some parts are a little forced to introduce things but that can't really be helped. With an OC character and the plot as it was, some meetings need to be forced so things can develop. I only have one complaint at this point that doesn't seem like it will resolve itself in time and that is his relationship with Kurenai. The start was understandable but currently, I see no reason for why the MC has to be subjected to her whims and violence. It just seemed to happen all of a sudden with no real reason behind it. MC should be basically as strong as her or rather in most aspects he should be superior, just with his circumstances will be in a lower-ranking position, something she should know at least the basics of. I can't think of any reason why since she knows his issues are something he can't just recover from, it is impossible based on what we (and Kurenai) currently know. If it was supposed to be some kind of banter, it failed to come across as such to me. So I can only hope the author will explain why things became like that between them.