Hellsing family

LV 3

AlucardSimon_2938

as the author I have to review my work , for me , I feel that my story still needs more work but over all, it is good and enjoyable , I won't praise myself because I know my story has room for improvement but as my first ever novel I am writing , it is kinda of nice

LV 3

Theothegiant

Ok, this is going to be a long one, you have the ideas you don't have the knowledge. 1. structure- you need to fix your structure when writing for webnovel, avoid blocks of text! make space between them, normally 3-4 lines long 5 if you can't help it. Dialogue should also be separate from everything else and not be blended into the description in any way (Unless the description is after the dialogue) 2. your descriptions are decent but you need to go more in depth, I normally face that issue as well but it rlly helps to visualize before you write down, imagine yourself in the situation, how would it smell, feel touch use your senses. 3. your first chapter... no, don't do that, if you were going to do that you should really put that in your author's note or at the end of a chapter. When reading a novel for the first time many people weight the quality on the first chapter heavily, starting it off with a promotion is not a good sign and will cause most to leave! 4. You're ranking, The way you describe your ranking you might as well put it in a prologue chapter, it's almost as if the world is pausing to tell me this and it breaks immersion so much it's like I'm reading the HxH manga. 5. This is where we go back to dialogue, the way you do it is fine. (((for those who don't know using this 'jerry: wth' instead of "Wth" jerry said))). though if you are going to go that route you need to make the line stand out amongst everything, make it a single sentence so the reader won't have to re-read every sentence to wonder if John said he bites an apple or if it's just narration to what he's doing. example, The area was cold, causing john to shudder. John: why is it so cold! Instead of, the area was cold, causing john to shudder. John: why is it so cold! it get confusing in mass amounts of text.

LV 2

Tlee_1309

I find it quite interesting and engaging the way you've built the storyline.

LV 13

superAyan

The way author tells the story is very direct, like the beginning chaps is like an explanation of the family. though writing needs to be improved and edited but the story is okay^^ 🙌🙌

LV 4

UelUel

Here's a 5 star review for you. Your book has a really interesting plotline so I hope that you can continue to work on it.

LV 2

Vex_900

I loved the beginning really hooks you into the story I hope for updates in the future [img=update] [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]