/ Anime & Comics / My hero: Molten mochi
Synopsis
After kyubi was sent to the realm of the gods. There was three random devil fruits chosen for him. After that he wasn’t sent to the world of my hero academia. He appears in a house alone he didn’t have any parents but he had an alarm on his phone to go to the trails for UA academy
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You need to be more descriptive. We don't know what's going on when you just jump to another scene after only one line of dialogue. It's just moving too fast. Take your time in describing what's happening around him instead of only focusing on him. Describe what he's thinking. Explain things, like how he died, why he got three devil fruits instead of just one, and why he wants to be a hero. We have no read on who the MC is. Although we know that he is heroic, why is he heroic? Why is he helping people he doesn't know. Take your time to do these things, and not only will your fic be improved, your overall writing skills will be too.