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My Life As A Daughter Of Serial Killers
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Synopsis
Barbara Wood is a detective. she has live her whole life with guilt because of the crimes that her parents committed. she has finally made up a decision to live her life as a normal girl in her twenties. she want to make friends, fall in love and become a detective that protect people from crazy criminals.
Therefore, she started working at the police headquarters in the country.
Will she be able to do? when her past is always hunting her. Join Barbara and her fellow detectives to solve crimes and make sure that they bring criminals into justice.
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Firstly, you have a cool concept with great potential but it definitely need a lot of polishing to do. The dialogues should be separated into different paragraphs for an easier reading experience. Putting 3-4 dialogues from three different characters in the same para is confusing and it makes reading a chore. And you need to take your time to do some research if you want the story to feel serious and logical, since crime novels are complicated with a lot of different elements involved. The criminal psychology, behavior and their mindset aside you need to be able to present a strong and compelling cases with enough clues and evidences or lack thereof to keep the readers interested. Take the first case for example, the criminal confessed very easily to Barbara's taunts which are nothing much. A serial killer who killed many without leaving any evidence or fingerprints behind will be much too smart to fall for Barbara's simple provocations. That too when a precinct full of detectives couldn't get anything out of him will have a great mental fortitude to blurt out confessions in anger. And he definitely wont leave the dead body in his own car trunk. And coming to the other detectives, putting aside their judgments and complaints towards Barbara, which could be argued considering Barbara's family background. But them blaming Barbara for cursing them for getting a case with no evidences to work with with is way too childish and immature. And that's not just one detective either. William crying over a celebrity's death because he is a fan paints a very unreliable picture for a homicide detective. I'm not saying they aren't allowed to cry or grieve but that should be done in a proper way without comprising their character and integrity as a police officer. Sorry if I'm too harsh, my intention is not to bring you down but only with honest criticism will you grow as an author. And remember, no matter what anybody says, including me, keep writing and rewriting and write and rewrite again. That's how you'll grow. And read a lots, preferably the genre you are interested in so you can see how you could do better. All the best.
Curious... Grammar has minor hiccups, nothing another once over won't fix. Dialogue flows nicely and prose is serviceable. Might want to break up some of the massive text blocks though for smoother reading. Keep on writing ๐
I was attached to the story. The story cannot be predicted which is good and it makes you to read more to see what happens next. Good job author on this novel.
This is an interesting piece. Very good story line and interesting to read. I was attached to the story, I have read all the 6 chapters. I am looking forward to the remaining chapters. Good work. I will recommend it to others
I love the writing quality, it is great for me! the descriptive writing is quite explicit, this story has much potential, Good job author for writing this kind of novel, Loved it! and I added it to my library, which I'll be stay tuned for the next chapters. No comments for the character design, it's great for me, and as I anticipated, this really is fascinating!
The first chapter seems very interesting. Hopefully the writer can develop in good novel. ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ
Love thisโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ. Very interesting โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฟ
This novel is very good. I am loving it. The way Barbara interrogate the criminals are always fun. I canโt wait for more updates. ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ.
Good story and a good concept, it was an enjoyable read. You have put effort and thought into the characters and story and made it very interesting. The introduction of the MC is done very well, and her dominance compared to others could clearly be seen. I think you could have extended the dialogue with the first criminal, that would have been my preference. But it is not an issue, and the story is still good. I like how you were able to show the link of the story to the genres so early in the story. This allows the readers to get exactly what they signed up for. There are some minor grammatical errors. Overall, a wonderful book and story.