/ Fantasy / So Evidently I'm The Overweight Son of The Now Dead Sorcerer King
So Evidently I'm The Overweight Son of The Now Dead Sorcerer King
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Synopsis
Hi, my name is Elias Vallamore I'm an over weight boy who's more useless than a porcupine in a condom factory, truly unimpressive garbage, with a none existent social life. No Good looks, no impressive skills, and bellow average intelligence. So imagine my surprise when this raven haired bastared, who randomly shows up at my house, tells me that my no show father has been killed, and my supposed aunt is now out to kill me! It looks like my lazy carefree days are over, especially with this new Raven Haired Life couch nagging on me all the time?
OUCH! HEY! DONT HIT ME! AGHA!
Will I ever be able to return to my normal life!?
The real question being do i Even want to?
So yeah...Evidently Im The Over Weight Son of the Now Dead Sorcerer King.
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For a first chapter its not bad. However I recommend writing more then six pages for a chapter, try to make them longer. Characters seem a bit bland, though this is a first chapter I would of liked a little more back ground on what's going on. A bit more detail on what the characters look like would also be greatly appreciated. Keep up the hard work.
it's good for a start. Needs more pages per chapter though. I like Albert but I hope he does not become like a butler character of sorts that would be a little weird.