18Reviews
4.62
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Im going to be honest here so i apologize if i hurt your feeling. My first complain is how in the hell that nobody noticed karna is actually a demigod especially freya who can see through a person soul. And the second problem was your writting style. I get it that English might not be your first language and it wasn't mine either but please at least put some effort to make it better know the difference between he and she, his or her. c'mon that's some basic English right there. And third your character is like a cardboard. Your character doesn't feels alive, there is no personality in your character except that bell is a brocon and hestia is a loud and annoying. I suggest that you rewrite this because in my opinion this is a mess.
Reveal Spoiler
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏
Boa pra caralho Very good kkkk (entre nós <3 se n tiver freya no harém ficar melhor ainda ) <3 djdjjs140 karaqteris kdjmmdhjsnsnnssnndjndndmssmksizkdjnrhdudid hj bhdudisjebdudiekneh
Just remember, most people thing freya's just an evil, scheming wh0re, but like most gods she likes righteous heroes the most. Her least known divinity is seior, it's norse shamanistic divination mostly practiced by women, where the user uses pleasure to see the future. In the original she never just sent monsters after bell, she had her strongest adventurer train the monsters and used her divination on him to see how long the monsters should be trained and when to send them to bell. It's also why she touched herself while watching bell, she was looking at his future. Any story that has the protagonist or those close to him hurt because of freyas schemes aren't writing freya right. She always knows the right amount of danger to throw at someone to make them surpass themselves
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Don't drop it plz, your story is so good :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟😁😁😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟
its cool but good damn the the writers grimmer...he fucks up ....his and her so much....pls fix.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz
I like it a lot👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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Pls keep writing and don't drop. Pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop.
made a few mistakes about how falna works and the small translation errors were annoying but it was great.
Im going to be honest here so i apologize if i hurt your feeling. My first complain is how in the hell that nobody noticed karna is actually a demigod especially freya who can see through a person soul. And the second problem was your writting style. I get it that English might not be your first language and it wasn't mine either but please at least put some effort to make it better know the difference between he and she, his or her. c'mon that's some basic English right there. And third your character is like a cardboard. Your character doesn't feels alive, there is no personality in your character except that bell is a brocon and hestia is a loud and annoying. I suggest that you rewrite this because in my opinion this is a mess.
Reveal Spoiler more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏 More please. 🙏🙏👍🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🙏
Boa pra caralho Very good kkkk (entre nós <3 se n tiver freya no harém ficar melhor ainda ) <3 djdjjs140 karaqteris kdjmmdhjsnsnnssnndjndndmssmksizkdjnrhdudid hj bhdudisjebdudiekneh
Just remember, most people thing freya's just an evil, scheming wh0re, but like most gods she likes righteous heroes the most. Her least known divinity is seior, it's norse shamanistic divination mostly practiced by women, where the user uses pleasure to see the future. In the original she never just sent monsters after bell, she had her strongest adventurer train the monsters and used her divination on him to see how long the monsters should be trained and when to send them to bell. It's also why she touched herself while watching bell, she was looking at his future. Any story that has the protagonist or those close to him hurt because of freyas schemes aren't writing freya right. She always knows the right amount of danger to throw at someone to make them surpass themselves
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Don't drop it plz, your story is so good :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟😁😁😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟🤟😁🤟😁🤟😁🤟
its cool but good damn the the writers grimmer...he fucks up ....his and her so much....pls fix.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz
I like it a lot👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏
😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏😍😎😁😉😀😆😃👍👌👏
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😝😍😝😍😝😝😀👍😝👍😝😍😍😍😍😍😍👍😍😍😝😍👍😝😍😝👍😍👍😍👍😝👍😝😀😍👍😝😝👍👍😝😍😍😍😀😝👍😝😍😍😀😝👍😍😀😝😝👍😝😍👍😍😝👍😝😀😝👍😝😝😀😝👍😝😀😝😀😍😍😀😝😀😝👍😝👍😝😝😀😝👍😝😝😀😍😝👍😝😝👍😝👍😍👍😝👍😝😀😝😝😀😝😀😝😀😝😝👍😝👍😍👍😍👍😝👍😝👍😝👍😝👍😝😝👍😝👍😝
Pls keep writing and don't drop. Pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop pls don't drop.
made a few mistakes about how falna works and the small translation errors were annoying but it was great.