/ Fantasy / The Black Heart
Synopsis
What is The Black Heart? Thousands of people have tried their luck journeying deep into the desert sands, yet none have seen it. But it exists, for wondrous things happen in the desert. Wishes are granted, and lives are ruined; people die, and others still come back to life. The sands pulse, their thrumming vibration echoing through all the desert, and its inhabitants.
Countless travelers journey to the desert, all hoping to reach the heart- to have their wishes granted, or to seek their fortune. And Durn lives in the middle of it all, a lone man with his wondrous creations, surviving within the desert. Who is he, and what does he wish for?
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Ok, so... it's really really early to review but: The first chapter is beautifully written, loved it. A great beginning! And then the second chapter of dialogue happened, and it was horrible. The individual sentences were still lovely, but it was way too difficult to track who was talking. One man's actions seemed to be intermingled with the other man's words, and there was never any direct indication of who was speaking. And then the next chapter had only a few lines of dialogue and the underlying quality of the writing and storytelling got to shine again. It would be a stunning story if you could fix your dialogues. Luck.
What'd you think, the author would give this a one star review? Well then you thought wrong. (but hey i was *humble* and at least made the rating look mildly realistic welp)
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Hi, I like the dialogue you make. Feels like a ping-pong game of smart words. Throughout the first 3 chapters, the mysterious impression of the world and the era that was used as a setting were felt but added to the reader 's curiosity. Hopefully, your novel can be successful, the idea is interesting!