Webnovel Author: gusdefrog - Novel Collection

The writing quality isn't bad, but some words aren't used within their usual English usages, although their definitions aren't wrong for the meaning. The story starts out grim, and though it moves along well, I think the main character might have lived more happily if she'd run away in the first chapter. I hope she makes it to a happy ending. Easy to follow, heart wrenching, glimpses of riches beyond our grasp, glimpses of corruption most of us don't have to rub up against. Good luck to all, characters and readers.

The author has improved over time! I found the first few chapters confusing and jumbled feeling, mostly due to the way they were written. It was not exactly wrong, but pretty clear that it wasn't by a native English speaker back then. The adjectives used, and order of sentences, were just... odd. Very descriptive, but weird. The latest chapters flow much more easily, despite the characters angst and plotting. I'm not sure it's any less tangled, but it's no longer tangled up in technicalities! You've grown a lot! I hope you'll keep writing.[img=recommend]

Technically, I think the story is five star so far, given that usually my difficulty with time skips has nothing to do with their execution. The beginning chapter confused me a lot, but has also been irrelevant to the -five years ago- tale, so far. I presume that it is unfortunately where life is heading for the characters. My main complaints are mostly related to conflicts with my own definitions of concepts. Innocence never hides anything, because it doesn't know it should. That doesn't mean the naive girl trying to hide things is guilty of anything, but to me she has suffered far too much and been confined too much to be innocent. The 'main' character is a bully, and thinks that's okay as long as the person being picked on is expecting it? Umm... either I misunderstood, or I really hope he learns better along the way. He thinks about a lot of things, but he's very self centered in his thoughts so far. The compliments: Things are written pretty clearly, no confusion over the meanings of phrases or holes in the sentances, even when there are holes in the information the story provides. It's written well. I haven't once noticed a misspelling or structural problem to distract me from the story. And if those are there, then the flow of the story is pulling it along quite well. Luck in the rest of the tale, may comfortable days and peaceful hearts be obtained.